You Must Say NEVER to Some Things
Erma Bombeck said, "Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."
Tennessee Granddaddy has some "nevers" also.
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Never go to a restaurant that still has the Christmas decorations up in February thru October.
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Never wait in line for over 5 minutes, unless it means life or death.
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Never take a laxative and sleeping pill at the same time.
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Never do anything that you wouldn't want to tell your wife. -
Never give advice unless you are sure the person wants it. Even then be careful.
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Never ever ask a woman if she is pregnant or ask her age.
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When driving on the interstate, never miss the opportunity to go to the bathroom.
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Never forget to say thank you and to show common courtesy.
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Never forget to smile.
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Never touch the stove to see if it is hot.
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Never cosign for a friend.
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Never get a tattoo.
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Never kick a cow pile in the pasture field.
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Never use a big word when a simple one will do.
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Never argue with a woman. You'll always lose.
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Never hesitate saying, "no" when you wife asks if she looks fat.
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Never forget you wedding anniversary and your wife birthday.
Do you have some “nevers” that I may have missed. I’d like to see them.
Dad and I’ll joke sometimes by saying, “If I had known I would live so long, I would have taken better care of myself.” That’s funny when you think about it.
It's the only place you have to live.
~Jim Rohn
Joke of the Day
An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist: "Paint me with diamond ear-rings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach and a gold Rolex."
The confused artist said: "But you're not wearing any of those things."
"I know," she said. "I don’t own any of them either, but if I die before my husband, I'm sure my husband will remarry. And I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry."
3 comments:
Never say Never!
You're lucky to still have your Dad. Mine Used to say the same thing.
I love, Love, LOVE that joke. Hmmm, I think I need a portrait painted. LOL LOL
Thanks for making my morning
I like your list of nevers. Cute joke about the portrait. Helen
I object to one of your NEVERS. "Never go to a restaurant that still has the Christmas decorations up in February thru October." How come? I love the holiday and twinkle lights are beautiful. I leave my Christmas tree up year round. I kid you not.
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