Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Never, Say Never?

You Must Say NEVER to Some Things
Erma Bombeck said, "Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."

Tennessee Granddaddy has some "nevers" also.

  • Never go to a restaurant that still has the  Christmas decorations up in February thru October.

  • Never wait in line for over 5 minutes, unless it means life or death.

  • Never take a laxative and sleeping pill at the same time.

  • StopNever do anything that you wouldn't want to tell your wife.

  • Never give advice unless you are sure the person wants it. Even then be careful.

  • Never ever ask a woman if she is pregnant or ask her age.

  • When driving on the interstate, never miss the opportunity to go to the bathroom.

  • Never forget to say thank you and to show common courtesy.

  • Never forget to smile.

  • Never touch the stove to see if it is hot.

  • Never cosign for a friend.

  • Never get a tattoo.

  • Never kick a cow pile in the pasture field.

  • Never use a big word when a simple one will do.

  • Never argue with a woman. You'll always lose.

  • Never hesitate saying, "no" when you wife asks if she looks fat.

  • Never forget you wedding anniversary and your wife birthday.

Do you have some “nevers” that I may have missed. I’d like to see them.

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
Dad and I’ll joke sometimes by saying, “If I had known I would live so long, I would have taken better care of myself.” That’s funny when you think about it.

Quote of the Day
Take care of your body.
It's the only place you have to live.
~Jim Rohn

Joke of the Day

An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist: "Paint me with diamond ear-rings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach and a gold Rolex."

The confused artist said: "But you're not wearing any of those things."

"I know," she said. "I don’t own any of them either, but if I die before my husband, I'm sure my husband will remarry. And I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry."

Add your thoughts & ideas to this blog by clicking on the "comments" below


Dar said...

Never say Never!

You're lucky to still have your Dad. Mine Used to say the same thing.

I love, Love, LOVE that joke. Hmmm, I think I need a portrait painted. LOL LOL
Thanks for making my morning

madcobug said...

I like your list of nevers. Cute joke about the portrait. Helen


I object to one of your NEVERS. "Never go to a restaurant that still has the Christmas decorations up in February thru October." How come? I love the holiday and twinkle lights are beautiful. I leave my Christmas tree up year round. I kid you not.