Friday, October 31, 2008

It's Halloween

Boo! Some funny one-liners for Halloween:

  • Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist? To improve his bite...

  • What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite...

  • Why do witches use brooms to fly on? Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy...

  • How do witches keep their hair in place while flying? With scare spray...

  • Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers? No, they eat the fingers separately...

  • Why don't skeletons ever go out on the town? Because they don't have any body to go out with...
  • What do ghosts add to their morning cereal? Booberries...

  • What is a vampire's favorite sport? Casketball...

  • What is a vampire's favorite holiday? Fangsgiving...

  • What would a monster's psychiatrist be called? Shrinkenstein...

  • What did one ghost say to the other ghost? "Do you believe in people?"

  • What do you call someone who puts poison in a person's corn flakes? A cereal killer...

  • Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends? They're so wrapped up in themselves...

  • What kind of streets do zombies like the best? Dead ends...

  • What does the papa ghost say to his family when driving? Fasten your sheet belts...

  • What is a vampire's favorite mode of transportation? A blood vessel...

  • What type of dog do vampire's like the best? Bloodhounds...

  • What is a ghoul's favorite flavor? Lemon-slime...

  • What does a vampire never order at a restaurant? A stake sandwich...

  • What do birds give out on Halloween night? Tweets...

  • Why do vampires need mouthwash? They have bat breath...

  • What's a vampire's favorite fast food? A guy with very high blood pressure...
Pumpkin Faces
For an excellent PowerPoint slide show of Pumpkin Faces, go to the link below and download the PumpkinFaces.pps file. The picture shown here is an example of the carvings.

Something Different

Here's an interesting commercial for a British automobile.

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
My Mother used to tell a story about a young girl... now this happened many years ago. Her "friends" dared her to go into the graveyard and stab a sharp knife into one of the graves at midnight on Halloween. She took the dare!

She did not come home that night. Next morning they found her in the cemetery dead from fright. When she had kneeled down to stab the knife in the ground, the knife had gone through her dress. Evidently when she got up to leave, she felt the pulling on her dress. Thinking it was a hand from the grave pulling her back, she died from fright.

Now if I were you, I would stay way clear of graveyards tonight, and be very careful no matter where you are.

Quote of the Day
When witches go riding,
and black cats are seen,
the moon laughs and whispers,
tis near Halloween.
~Author Unknown

Joke of the Day
Two men were walking home after a Halloween party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows.

Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.

"Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath, "You scared us half to death -- we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?"

"Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"

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Thursday, October 30, 2008

Convention Gems

My "Convention Gems" have been updated to include our Convention held in early October, 2008 in Paris, TN. You can download them here.

Beautiful Pictures & Music

Watch a beautiful flash movie with beautiful pictures and music. The music is Chiquitita. Click on the picture below:
Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
Don't ask God to take care of our future while our life is in our own hands. Instead trust the future to God with our lives in His Hands.

Quote of the Day
You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them.
~Desmond Tutu

Joke of the Day
When my sister Andrea got married, she asked to wear mother's wedding dress. The day she tried it on for the first time I was sitting with Mother in the living room as Andrea descended the stairs. The gown was a perfect fit on her petite frame. Mother's eyes welled with tears. I put my arm around her.

"You're not losing a daughter," I reminded her in time-honored fashion. "You're gaining a son."

"Oh, forget about that!" she said with a sob. "I used to fit into that dress!"

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Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Rich or Poor?

Here's a very good story to get a better perspective on life.

One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live. They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.

On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"

"It was great, Dad."

"Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked.

"Oh yeah," said the son.

"So, tell me, what did
you learn from the trip?" asked the father.

The son answered:

"I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon. We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight. We have servants who serve us, but they serve others. We buy our food, but they grow theirs. We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them."

The boy's father was speechless.

Then his son added, "Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are."

Isn't perspective a wonderful thing? Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have.

Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your family and friends!

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
If you don't laugh today, you'll really miss out.

Did you know? Today is my 400th post on this blog.

Quote of the Day
One father is more than a hundred Schoolmasters.
~George Herbert

Joke of the Day
David and Bernice had just given their teenage daughter family-car privileges. On Saturday night she returned home very late from a party.

The next morning her father went out to the driveway to get the newspaper and came back into the house frowning. At 11:30am the girl sleepily walked into the kitchen, and her father asked her, "Sweetheart, what time did you get in last night?"

"Not too late, Dad." she replied nervously.

Dead-panned, her father said, "Then, my precious one, I'll have to talk with the paperboy about putting my morning paper under the front tire of the car."

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Tuesday, October 28, 2008

The Laws of Life

I've seen these before, but someone reminded me of them the other day. If you are like me you'll find many of these that you will say, "How true!"

With these laws of life there is no justice. Enjoy...
  1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to go the bathroom.

  2. Law of the Workshop - Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

  3. Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

  4. Law of the Telephone - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

  5. Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

  6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

  7. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone ring.

  8. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

  9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

  10. Law of Bio-mechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

  11. Law of the Theater - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

  12. Law of Coffee - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

  13. Law of Location - No matter where you go, there you are.

  14. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

  15. Brown's Law - If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

  16. Oliver's Law - A closed mouth gathers no feet.

  17. Wilson's Law - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it. (This one is true every time!)

  18. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.
PowerPoint Slide Show Fans
Hey Gang! I've added 9 more PowerPoint slide shows to my web pages of Favorite Slide Shows. Just look under my links in the right column, or check out Page 1 and/or Page 2.

Also, if you are interesting in learning more about PowerPoint slide shows and presentations you might want to check out the following link:

PowerPoint Presentation Helper

It is loaded with helpful techniques that you could use in developing your own slide show with background music. Good luck!

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
Someone said that it isn't difficult to make a mountain out of a molehill, just add a little dirt.


Quote of the Day
Keep your fears to yourself but share your courage with others.
~Robert Louis Stevenson

Joke of the Day
A Texas Department of Water representative stopped at a ranch and talked with an old rancher. He told the rancher, 'I need to inspect your ranch for your water allocation.'

The old rancher said, 'Okay, but don't go in that field over there.'

The Water representative said, 'Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me. See this card? This card means I am allowed to go WHEREVER I WISH on any agricultural land. No questions asked or answered. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?'

The old rancher nodded politely and went about his chores.

Later, the old rancher heard loud screams and saw the Water Rep running for the fence and close behind was the rancher's bull. The bull was gaining on the Water Rep with every step.

The Rep was clearly terrified, so the old rancher immediately ran to the fence and shouted out....."Your card! Show him your card!"

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Monday, October 27, 2008

GAAM's Magic & Money Machine

A Magical Fall Picnic from GAAM
On this past Saturday we went to the picnic sponsored by our investment firm, GAAM (Gilbert Advanced Asset Management). The theme of the picnic this year was MAGIC. We took Kara and Zachary and we all had a great time! After some fun games for the kids, and lunch we had a magic show. The following picture is scan of the picture they took of us on arrival.

After the magic show GAAM drew 5 names of the lucky people (all adults) to get to try for loot in the GAAM Money Machine. We did not get picked. But after the lucky 5 got their turn, they decided to select a girl and boy to get a chance in the money machine. A friend of Kara, Morgan Wilmoth, was the girl that got selected. Then when they picked a boy, it was Zachary! Check out this short video of him in the money machine.

Zachary snagged twenty-two dollars and he was one happy boy. He clutched that money tightly the rest of the day.

We had a great time!

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
If you feed your faith, your doubts will starve to death.

Quote of the Day
The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once
and put it in your pocket.
~Frank Hubbard

Joke of the Day
A Retiree's Tale...
The other day I went downtown to run a few errands. I went into the local coffee shop for a snack. I was only there for about 5 minutes, and when I came out, there was this cop writing out a parking ticket.

I said to him, 'Come on, man, how about giving a retired person a break? He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. His insensitivity annoyed me, so I called him a 'Nazi.'

He glared at me and then wrote out another ticket for having worn tires.

So I proceeded to call him a 'doughnut eating Gestapo.'

He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he wrote a third ticket when I called him a moron in blue. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I talked back to him the more tickets he wrote.

Personally, I didn't really care. I came downtown on the bus, and the car that he was putting the tickets on had one of those bumper stickers that said, "Obama in '08". I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired. The doctor tells me that it's important to my health.

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Saturday, October 25, 2008

Legal Impact

A good friend sent me this link to this video a few days ago. It's about the legal impact on families if the same sex marriage is legalized. I was surprised. I was appalled. This is a must view, if you value traditional family values.

If the video will not play, click on the following link:

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
I like what someone said,
"Blessed are those who can give without remembering,
and take without forgetting. "

Quote of the Day
Sometimes your body is smarter than you are
~Author Unknown

Joke of the Day
A veterinarian was also an amateur geneticist. One day, one of his experiments paid off. He successfully combined the DNA of a cantaloupe with that of a dog. The result was a small, round dog with orange-tinted fur.

For many years, the dog was happy. But over time, he became lethargic and morose. The vet tried everything to cure the dog's depression. Eventually, he decided to take the dog to a pet psychiatrist. The psychiatrist told the veterinarian not to worry. The dog was just a little melon collie.

(Now you know why the corn picture was beside this joke. Corny!)

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Friday, October 24, 2008

Some fun stuff from Reader's Digest

Make laughter a part of your daily routine with funny jokes, hilarious cartoons and silly photos from Bonus: Watch a new stand-up comedy video every day!

About Strokes - Please Read

Save A Life
I am sharing this because it could help save a life.

"Each year an estimated 600,000 Americans experience strokes, which are interruptions of the blood supply to any part of the brain, resulting in damaged brain tissue. Of these victims, 160,000 die, making stroke the third leading cause of death in the U.S. Those persons this dread killer does not immediately send to the grave are often left with lifelong debilitating infirmities of speech, movement, and even thought." --from Snopes

A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke... totally . He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed, and then getting the patient medically cared for within 3 hours, which is tough.

Thanks for the good sense to remember the '3' steps, STR . Read and Learn!

Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer severe brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke.

Now doctors say a bystander can usually recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions:

  • S = Ask the individual to SMILE.

  • T = Ask the person to TALK & SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE (Coherently) (i.e. Is it sunny out today ?)

  • R = Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS.
If he or she has trouble with ANY ONE of these tasks, call 911 immediately and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.

Now they say there is new sign of a stroke:
  • Ask the Person to Stick out Their Tongue
    If the tongue is 'crooked', if it goes to one side or the other,
    that is also an indication of a stroke.
More Info on Strokes:


Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
Enjoy the warmth of the autumn sun,
for the cold of the winter will soon be upon us.

Quote of the Day
May you live as long as you want,
And never want as long as you live.
~Irish Blessing

Joke of the Day
A drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends very late one night.

He led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong and a mallet.

'What's with the big brass gong?' one of the friends asked.

'It's not a gong. It's a talking clock,' the drunk slurred in response.

'A talking clock? Seriously?' asked his astonished friend. 'How's it work?'

'Watch,' the drunk replied. He stumbled across the room, picked up the mallet, and gave the gong an ear-shattering pound.

The three stood in silence, looking at one another for a moment.

Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, 'You's three-fifteen in the morning!!'

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Thursday, October 23, 2008

Greatest Play Ever in Baseball

The World Series of Baseball is underway. What about great plays in baseball? Well I have the best one ever for you today. I hope you enjoy as much as I did.

Display of American Patriotism

You may have seen this before. I think it worth seeing again even if you have seen it. That was certainly quick thinking by Rick Monday.

"On April 25, 1976 at Dodger Stadium, Rick Monday of the Chicago Cubs, grabbed and secured the American flag from two Muslims attempting to burn our flag in the middle of the playing field. It was an outstanding display of American Patriotism.
" ---From YouTube

As you probably know, I support true American Patriotism. When you have time visit my Support Our Troops web page.

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
No one has the power to make us angry.
We should have the power to control our own emotions.

Quote of the Day
God gives every bird its food, but He does not throw it into its nest.
~J.G. Holland

Joke of the Day
Toward the end of Sunday service, the preacher asked, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?" 80% held up their hands.

The preacher then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one small elderly lady, Mrs. Neely

The preacher asked her, "Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"

"I don't have any enemies." She replied, smiling sweetly.

The preacher said, "Mrs. Neely, that is very unusual. How old are you?"

"Ninety-eight." she replied.

"Oh, Mrs. Neely, would you please come down in front & tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the world?"

The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said: "I outlived all of them."
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Wednesday, October 22, 2008


I ran across a very nice hummingbird video on Vimeo, a site for uploading and sharing video creations. They seem to have a lot of high definition nature and animal videos.

Watch the hummingbird video here. It's called
Remembering the Sun

Here's a link to more of the nature videos. Vimeo Nature Videos

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
Some say the advantage of exercising every day
is so when you die, they'll say,
"Well, he/she looks good doesn't he/she."

I had a friend that didn't exercise very much,
he told me that when he died he wanted there to be a reason.

Quote of the Day
It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for something you are not.
~Andre Gide

Joke of the Day
Exercise and healthy eating can add years to your life. This enables you at 80 years old to spend additional years in a nursing home at $7000 per month. What joy!
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Tuesday, October 21, 2008


What's Kiiking?
I would call it extreme swinging. Remember the old swing set you had in grammar school. You would swing as high as you could. But when you got so high the swing chain would slacken up. Did you ever wish you could swing all the way around... you know, 360 degrees. That would be impossible with a chain or rope swing. But it is possible with steel rods as the "chain". That's what kiiking is all about... swinging all the way around on a giant swing set. Watch it here...

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
A surefire diet: If it tastes good, then spit it out.

Quote of the Day
I've never seen a smiling face that was not beautiful.
~Author Unknown

Joke of the Day
Doctor to patient: I have good news and bad news: the good news is that you are not a hypochondriac.
Problem with getting old: It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.

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Monday, October 20, 2008

The 10 Commandments

I got this as an email the other day, and thought I would share with you this Monday morning. I hope you have a wonderful week. Be sure to get outside and enjoy some of this wonderful autumn weather.

Ten Commandments

Some people have trouble with all those 'shall's' and 'shall not's' in the Ten commandments. Folks just aren't used to talking in those terms.. So, somewhere in middle Tennessee they translated the "King James" into what I would call 'Snuffy Smith' language.....

(1) Just one God
(2) Put nothin' before God
(3) Watch yer mouth
(4) Git yourself to Sunday meetin'
(5) Honor yer Ma & Pa
(6) No killin'
(7) No foolin' around with another fellow's gal
(8) Don't take what ain't yers
(9) No tellin' tales or gossipin'
(10) Don't be hankerin' for yer buddy's stuff

Now that's plain an' simple. Y'all have a nice day.

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
Think before you talk.
Think before you act.
Look before you walk.

Quote of the Day
Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower.
~Albert Camus

Joke of the Day
There was a little old lady, who every morning. Stepped onto her front porch, raised her arms to the sky, and shouted: "PRAISE THE LORD!"

One day an atheist moved into the house next door. He became irritated at the little old lady. Every morning he'd step onto his front porch after her and yell: "THERE IS NO LORD!"

Time passed with the two of them carrying on this Way every day.

One morning, in the middle of winter, the little old lady stepped onto her front porch and shouted: "PRAISE THE LORD! Please Lord, I have no food and I am starving, provide for me, oh Lord!

The next morning she stepped out onto her porch and there were two huge bags of groceries sitting there.


The atheist neighbor jumped out of the hedges and shouted: "THERE IS NO LORD; I BOUGHT THOSE GROCERIES!!"

The little old lady threw her arms into the air and shouted: "PRAISE THE LORD! HE HAS PROVIDED ME WITH GROCERIES AND MADE THE DEVIL PAY FOR THEM!"

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Saturday, October 18, 2008

Dad and I

Last week while Dad and I were at our Paris, Tennessee, church convention, Jean Owens came by to visit with us between meeting and took this picture. Thanks Jean! I am glad to have a good picture of the two of us together. We'll both have many fond memories of the days we spent together at Paris.

On our first day we both discovered we had forgotten to bring a comb. There we were in the motel room combing our hair with a plastic shampoo brush before we went to breakfast. Later we went to Wal-Mart and bought some new combs.

One night I slipped out of the motel room to get something I left in the car after Dad had gone to sleep. The door closed behind me and I was locked outside. I knocked but was sure I would not awaken him. So, barefooted and in my jeans and T-shirt, I walked to the office and pleaded for a key to get in our room. When I returned Dad was at the window looking out, a little confused about what had happened to me.

We enjoyed being together and had fun. And we both enjoyed the convention meetings and all the spiritual help we received.

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
A new born baby is truly a miracle.
Really, life is a miracle.

Quote of the Day
He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not,
but rejoices for those which he has.

Joke of the Day
Two older couples were riding in a car. One of the men asked the other, "Been to any good restaurants lately?"

The man said, "I'll tell you but first, what's the name of that sweet smelling flower with the thorns that you give on special occasions?"

"You mean a rose," he replied. The man turned to his wife and said, "Rose, what was the great restaurant we went to the other day?"

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Friday, October 17, 2008

Johnny the Bagger

Did you ever hear the story about Johnny the Bagger. Johnny was a bag boy at a grocery store. Johnny was also a Down Syndrome person. This very inspiring.

Or watch it here....

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
Life, only once we can live it.

Quote of the Day
Motivation is what gets you started.
Habit is what keeps you going.
~Jim Ryun

Joke of the Day
If a man can do at 50 what he did at 25; and I'll show you a man that didn't do much at 25

My preacher came to see me the other day. He said that at my age I should be thinking about the Hereafter.

I told him, "Oh I do, all the time! No matter where I am, in the parlor, upstairs, in the kitchen, or down in the basement, I ask myself: now what am I
here after.

Add your thoughts & ideas to this blog by clicking on the "comments" below

Thursday, October 16, 2008

A Wise Man or a Wise Guy?

I don't know the source, but this is interesting and amusing...

"How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on."

Sonar & GPS
Back a few weeks ago I was on Watauga Lake doing a little fishing. We were trolling for trout and using the Lowrance unit I bought last year. I took a picture of the screen while we were fishing so you could see how it works.

On the left side of the screen is the GPS map. The red line shows our current position and the arrow indicates the current location. The 1.76 at the top is our speed in MPH.

On the right side of the screen is the sonar chart. The 233 at the top is the water depth. The 77.3 under the depth is the water temperature in degrees F. You also see indications of fish: One at 130 feet, and several smaller ones around 200 feet deep.

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
It is good to set a goal to accomplish something every day. If so, you would have lots of accomplishments at the end of a year.

Quote of the Day
Nobody really cares if you're miserable,
so you might as well be happy.
~Cynthia Nelms

Joke of the Day
An older lady was writing her friend:
I have become a little older since I saw you last, and a few changes have come into my life.

Frankly, I have become a frivolous old gal. I am seeing five gentlemen every day. As soon as I wake up, Will Power helps get me out of bed. Then I go to see John. Next, Charlie Horse comes along, and when he is here, he takes a lot of my time and attention. When he leaves, Arthur Ritis shows up and stays the rest of the day. He doesn't like to stay in one place very long, so he takes me from joint to joint. After such a busy day, I'm really tired and glad to go to bed with Ben Gay. (What about Jack Daniel? Maybe she quit seeing him. -TG)

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Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Apple Pie and the Bird

Apple Pies
Beverly and Sharon worked on apples again yesterday. They made more apple butter, apple crisps, and some apple pies. This finished up the apples from the backyard apple tree. Here's a picture of one of those pies. I wonder why it's missing a couple of pieces. All I can say is Yum Yum!

We used Mandy's recipe for the pies. Thanks Mandy!

The Bird
Check out this short video clip. It's funny.

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
You have gotta be somewhere, and I rather be at home.

Quote of the Day
Whoever is in a hurry shows that the thing
he is about is too big for him.

~Lord Chesterfield

Joke of the Day
Martha speaking with Sue advised that she was told Martha was getting married.

Sue asked "Didn't she think she was a bit old to get married?"
Martha said no.

Sue asked but why? Did her new husband have great looks?
Martha said no.

Sue asked if he was well off financially?
Martha said no.

Sue asked if he was some sort of celebrity?
Martha said no.

Sue then asked why in the world would Martha marry the guy?
Martha said "He can drive at night."

Add your thoughts & ideas to this blog by clicking on the "comments" below

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Brush Strokes

My cousin Karen Cooke has started a blog about painting with water colors. She has done a very professional job in developing her blog. If you are interested in water color painting I think you will find her blog very interesting and informative. Go take a look at it today...

I'm also adding Karen's Blog to my list of interesting sites.

The New Dollar Bill
Have you seen the new one dollar bill? It's been redesigned to reflect recent events in the financial markets.

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Quote of the Day
If I'd known I was going to live so long, I'd have taken better care of myself.
~Leon Eldred

Joke of the Day
Two blonde girls were working for the city public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind her and fill the hole in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one girl digging a hole, the other girl filling it in again.

An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, 'I'm impressed by the effort you two are putting into your work, but I don't get it -- why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?'

The hole digger wiped her brow and sighed, 'Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the girl who plants the trees called in sick.'

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Monday, October 13, 2008

Columbus Day

Home Again!
Dad and got back to East Tennessee last evening. I drove just about 400 miles yesterday, but it wasn't bad at all. The worst part was the last 90 when I was alone. It was nice being with Dad the past few days, We had a real good time together... AND we enjoyed a wonderful convention.

Columbus Day
I believe today is the day we celebrate Columbus Day.
I think the actual date is October 12, but it is celebrated today. If I remember correctly someone said something like this about Columbus: "He departed not knowing where he was going and when he got there he didn't know where he was and he did it all on borrowed money". He sounds like a politician.

Read more about the real Christopher Columbus at Wikipedia.

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
You can make a small fortune in the stock market,
if you start with a large fortune.

Quote of the Day
A ship in harbor is safe - but that is not what ships are for.
~John A. Shedd

Joke of the Day
There was an OLD comic strip, called "Mutt and Jeff," and they are seen riding in an open box car on the old railroads.

Mutt says, "You know Jeff, I was just thinking. I wish I knew the exact spot where I would die."

Jeff asks, "Why in the world would you want to know that?"

Mutt answers, "Cause, I'd never go near the place."

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Saturday, October 11, 2008

Have a Nice Day

All is going good for Dad and me at the Paris Convention.
The meetings have been wonderful. I have been taking lots of notes. I like to take notes because it helps me to be attentive and it helps me remember what was spoken.

Dad and I plan to leave Paris, TN Sunday after the 1st meeting and drive back to East Tennessee.

"Keep the Faith and the Faith will keep you."

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
Worry is like a rocking chair, it keeps you busy but you don't make any progress,

Quote of the Day
Example is not the main thing in influencing others.
It is the only thing.
~Albert Schweitzer

Joke of the Day
Aged husband and wife are sitting on the front porch.

Wife said, "I certainly would appreciate a vanilla ice cream cone."

Husband: "I'll hobble right down to the drugstore and get you one dear."

Wife: "Now, remember, I want vanilla. You always get chocolate. Write it down - Vanilla."

Husband replied, "I can certainly remember vanilla. The store is only two blocks away."

Husband comes back with a hamburger and hands it to his wife.

She looks at it disgustedly. "I knew you'd forget the mustard," she said.

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Friday, October 10, 2008

Crows are SMART!

We had a wonderful first day of convention. Today will be day 2, and we have 3 meetings scheduled for today at 10:00 am, 2:30 pm, and 7:00 pm. I hope to see you tomorrow. Now you can watch these crows...

Smart Crows
This is almost too much to believe. These Japanese crows have learned to the extent that it almost looks like have a reasoning ability. They have developed a way to eat food that they could not normally eat. This is narrated by David Attenborough. You'll be surprised. Enjoy!

Maybe Japan has higher quality crows,
just like their high quality products?

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
It's easier to grow older than it is to grow wiser.

Quote of the Day
Hire character. Train skill.
~Peter Schutz

Joke of the Day
Instant old age: Put rocks in your shoes, Vaseline on your glasses, cotton in your ears, and gloves on your hands.

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Thursday, October 9, 2008

Rock Balancing

Yesterday, Dad and I had a nice drive over to Paris, Tennessee. We saw some of the beautiful country in middle Tennessee. After checking in to our motel, we visited the convention grounds and had a nice supper with our friends. Today we'll be going back for the meetings which begin at 10 AM. I hope you have a great day, I feel confident that we will have a very good day.

There always something new in art. Here's something I have never heard of until recently. It's called rock balancing or stone balancing. Watch Bill Dan balance rocks to create a restful art form.

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.

Quote of the Day
There are two ways of spreading light;
to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.
~Edith Wharton

Joke of the Day
Two brooms were in the broom closet, and after a while they go to know each other so well that they decided to get married.

One broom was the bride-broom and the other was the groom-broom.

The bride-groom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom-broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely.

After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride-broom leaned over and said the the groom-broom, "I think I am going to have a little whisk-broom!"

"Impossible!" said the groom-broom, "We haven't even swept together!"

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Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Memory Lane

Paris Bound
Today Dad and I are going to Paris. And this Paris is in Tennessee, not France. But where we are going will be much better than going to Paris, France, because we are going to our church convention. Two weeks ago we had our convention in Knoxville.

We look forward to going because we will receive much needed spiritual help. Beverly's going to hold down the fort in Kingsport, and Mary will do the same in Knoxville, while Dad and I head west. We'll try to keep you posted on what happening when we have the time.

Memory Lane
Take a stroll down memory lane with this video clip. If you're my age or even younger you will enjoy seeing this clip of pictures that show lots of stuff from the past. The past, that's when life was simpler. We miss the good old days for sure. Enjoy!

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
Half the people you know are below average.

Quote of the Day
Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.
~Doug Larson

Joke of the Day
A radical feminist is getting on a bus when, just in front of her, a man gets up from his seat.

She thinks to herself, "Here's another man trying to keep up the customs of a patriarchal society by offering a poor, defenseless woman his seat," and she pushes him back onto the seat.

A few minutes later, the man tries to get up again. She is insulted again and refuses to let him up.

Finally, the man says, "Look, lady, you've got to let me get up. I'm two miles past my stop already."

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