For Those Who Love The Philosophy Of Ambiguity, As Well As The Idiosyncrasies Of English: The Philosophy of Ambiguity
- Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
- One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
- Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
- I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self- help section?" she said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
- What if there were no hypothetical questions?
- If a deaf child signs swear words, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
- If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
- Is there another word for synonym?
- Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
- What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
- Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
- Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
- If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
- Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
- If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
- Why do they put braille on the drive-through bank machines?
- How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?
- What was the best thing before sliced bread?
- One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
- How is it possible to have a civil war?
- If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
- If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
- Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have 's' in it?
- Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
- Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
- If you spin an oriental person in a circle three times, do they become disoriented?
- Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God?
My wishes for you today are enough luck to make you feel good, enough trials to help you remain strong, a few tears to remain human, and enough hope to keep you happy.
a pair of shoes is worn out.
Joke of the Day
A man placed some flowers on the grave of his departed mother and started back for his car, parked on the cemetery road. His attention was diverted to a man kneeling at a grave.
The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity, and kept repeating, "Why did you die? Why did you die?"
The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't want to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of hurt and pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? Your Child? A parent? Who, may I ask, lies in that grave?"
The mourner answered, "My wife's first husband! ... Why did you die? Why did you die?"