A New Week
In the old days there was a main chore to do on each day of the week. I found this the other day, and thought we could all learn something from it. But it seems to me that I need to do all those chores every day.
Tuesday - Ironing Day
Dear Lord, help me iron out all the wrinkles of prejudice I have collected through the years so that I may see the beauty in others.
Wednesday - Mending Day
My God, help me mend my ways so I will not set a bad example for others
Thursday - Cleaning Day
Lord Jesus, help me to dust out all the many faults I have been hiding in the secret corners of my heart.
Friday - Shopping Day
Dear God, give me the grace to shop wisely so I may purchase eternal happiness for myself and all others in need of love.
Saturday - Cooking Day
Help me, my Savior, to brew a big kettle of brotherly love and serve it with clean, sweet bread of human kindness.
Sunday - The Lord's Day
My God, I have prepared my house for you. Please come into my heart so I may spend the day and the rest of my life in your presence.
I’ve noticed that the only time in life when someone does not want advice is when they are young.
And that’s when they need it the most.
~Usman B. Asif
Joke of the Day
You’re Drinking Too Much Coffee When:
- You speed walk in your sleep.
- You answer the door before people knock.
- You sleep with your eyes open.
- You just completed your third sweater today, and you don’t know how to knit.
- You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
- You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
- The only time you’re standing still is in an earthquake.
- You lick your coffee pot clean.
- Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
- The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
- You can type sixty words a minute with your feet.
- You don’t sweat, you percolate.
- People get dizzy just watching you.
- People can test their batteries in your ears.
- Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
- Your Thermos is on wheels.
- You can outlast the Energizer Bunny.
- You don’t even wait for the water to boil anymore.
- You don’t tan, you roast.
- You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.
- You think CPR stands for “Coffee Provides Resuscitation.”