Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Tough Times These Days

My neighbor sent me the following about the tough times we’re having these days. I thought it was funny and I think you will enjoy it.

RoosterIt’s Tough Out There!
Just look at this poor rooster! He looks like he’s been though the mill.

But not everyone is as lucky as I am......

  • The economy is so bad that: I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
  • I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked,  "Can you afford fries with that?"
  • CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
  • If the bank returns your check marked  "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
  • Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.
  • McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
  • Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.
  • A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into  Mexico.
  • Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.
  • Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.
  • The Mafia is laying off judges.
  • Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
  • Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

And, finally...

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Lifeline. I got a call center in  Pakistan and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.


Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
The greatest undeveloped area territory on the earth today is that area lying between our ears. Try to learn something every day you live.

Quote of the Day
The best way to cheer yourself up
is to try to cheer somebody else up. 
~Mark Twain

Joke of the Day

A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, 'I know what the Bible means!'  

His father smiled and replied, 'What do you mean, you 'know' what the Bible means?

The son replied, 'I do know!'

'Okay,' said his father.  'What does the Bible mean?'

'That's easy, Daddy...' the young boy replied excitedly,' It stands for 'Basic Information Before Leaving Earth.'


There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country.

'Is there anything breakable in here?' asked the postal clerk.

'Only the Ten Commandments.' answered the lady.

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1 comment:

Mandy said...

LOVE the economy jokes! haha!