Thursday, January 31, 2008

Some New Slide Shows

I recently received three new PowerPoint Slide Shows. They have been added to my Slide Show Web Page. You can download them or watch them there.

The first one shows some beautiful pictures of old auto- mobiles. The slide show is titled When Auto- mobiles Were Art. Here's an example, Ford Model T Touring car.

The second slide show show some amazing pictures of the Alaskan Railway that runs from Whitehorse, Yukon to Skagway, Alaska. You are in store for some beautiful and interesting photography. In the background you will hear Patsy Cline sing Life's Railway to Heaven.

The third slide show is named Awesome. It's a story about a man who had four sons. He wanted his sons to learn not to Judge things too quickly. So he sent them each on a quest,in turn,to go and look at a pear tree that was a great distance away. It has a wonderful message for us and you will see some beautiful photography.
A Special Happy Birthday Greeting to my cousin who lives in Memphis, Tennessee. Karen, I hope you have a wonderful birthday and many, many more!!! We love you!


Quote of the Day
I'm not interested in age.
People who tell me their age are silly.
You're as old as you feel.
~Elizabeth Arden

Jokes of the Day

Q: What's the difference between lawyers and buzzards?
A: Lawyers have removable wing tips.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a terrorist?
A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.

Q: When attorneys die, why do they bury them 600 feet underground?
A: Because deep down, they're really nice guys.


It was recently said that a lawyer was fishing in the Atlantic, when a sudden swell threw him into the water. A school of man-eating sharks immediately converged on him, but they lifted him out of the water, and carefully swam him to the shore, where he waded out of the water.

He turned, and asked them why they had saved his life instead of eating him alive.

One of the sharks smiled, and said "Professional Courtesy!"

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Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Happy Birthday, Beverly

Today is my wife's birthday. I hope she has a wonderful birthday, and I will try to make it that way for her.

I praise her for being such a wonderful person... a truly devoted wife, mother, and grandmother. A helpful friend to all who know her.

I wrote a poe
m for her. I know she will kill me. Here it is anyway:

Happy Birthday
To My Dear and Loving Wife

Oh! Oh me, oh my,
It makes you want to cry.
To see this gal so alive,
And watch her turn sixty-five.

A little she did whine,
When she turned fifty-nine
But the years have gone by fast,
And those days are past.

The years have brought gains,
But mostly it was aches and pains.
But, Beverly, don’t despair,
Remember you need continuing repair.

Don’t move too fast, go slow,
Take your Tums and pills where ever you go.
Wear your glasses so you can see,
Remember you are a charter member of the AARP.

This year also brings something new,
It’s more than you got at sixty-two.
Now you have got the proof in your wallet,
A Medicare Card in your pocket!

~ Jim White, 1/30/2008


Quotes of the Day
The secret of staying young is to live honestly,
eat slowly, and lie about your age.
~Lucille ball

The older the fiddler, the sweeter the tune.
~English Proverb

Age is strictly a case of mind over matter.
If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
~ Jack Benny

Joke of the Day

A man walks into a bar and asks the barman, 'Was I in here last night?'

'You certainly were,' replies the barman.

'And did I spend a lot of money?'

'You spent over $100', replies the barman.

'Thank goodness for that,' says the man, 'I thought I'd wasted it.'

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Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Fairy Tales & More Talent

A friend sent this to me the other day. How true!

The little girl asks, "Grannie to all fairy tales begin with 'Once Upon a Time?'" Grannie answers, "No darling, There is a whole series of fairy tales that begin with 'If Elected I Promise.'"

I got this from another friend. I know how she feels. I get a lot of email that promise me so much if I would forward them. The note read...
"To all my friends who sent me best wishes in 2007, or promises of good luck if I forwarded something, IT DID NOT WORK. For 2008, could you please just send either money, chocolate or gas vouchers. Thank you!"

More Talent
Lisa sent this me this link yesterday. This is good. It's 6 year old Connie from Britain.


Quote of the Day
Darkness cannot drive out darkness;
only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate;
only love can do that.
~Martin Luther King, Jr.

Joke of the Day

Hopkins, a TV meteorologist, ran up a terrible forecasting record. He was so bad that a newspaper tallied his miscues. In a single year, he was wrong 300 times.

That kind of notoriety got him fired.

He moved across country and applied for a similar job.

In the interview, he was asked the question he dreaded: "Why did you leave your last job?"

Hopkins replied, "The climate didn't agree with me."

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Monday, January 28, 2008

Such Talent!

Just recently I have seen some impressive talent in some very young people. I thought I would share a couple of them with you today.

In this first YouTube video, Hank Williams, Jr. brings a 4 your old boy up on stage with him to perform!

The next YouTube video shows Anthony Gargiula, a 7 year old boy, singing the National Anthem at a basketball game. It too, is amazing.


Quote of the Day
Few things help an individual more than to place
responsibility upon him, and to let him know that you trust him.
~Booker T. Washington

Joke of the Day

Bubba went to a psychiatrist. "I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's Somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy."

"Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come talk to me three times a week, and we should be able to get rid of those fears."

"How much do you charge?"

"Eighty dollars per visit, replied the doctor."

"I'll sleep on it," said Bubba.

Six months later the doctor met Bubba on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me about those fears you were having?" asked the psychiatrist.

"Well Eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money! A bartender cured me for $10. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new pickup!"

"Is that so! And how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?"

"He told me to cut the legs off the bed! - Ain't nobody under there now !!!"

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Saturday, January 26, 2008

How About This?

New Year's Resolution
I'm a little discouraged this morning. No more weight loss. I've been diligent on my exercise and diet. But sometimes it goes like that. I will keep on going! I am determined! Eleven pounds in 3 weeks is great. My plan was to loose between about 2.5 pounds a week. So I am ahead of my goal.

The Answers to Yesterday's Puzzles

The Coal, Carrot and Scarf - Five pieces of coal, a carrot and a scarf are lying on the lawn. Nobody put them on the lawn but there is a perfectly logical reason why they should be there. What is it? Answer: They were used by children who made a snowman. The snow has now melted.

Trouble with Sons - A woman had two sons who were born on the same hour of the same day of the same year. But they were not twins. How could this be so? Answer: They were two of a set of triplets (or quadruplets etc.)

How About This?
Back some time ago I started making a list of insulting sayings that one could say about someone (No harm intended, and all in fun). Here's my current list (And thanks for your input!):
  • His lights are on but one is home.
  • He's a few bricks shy of a full load.
  • His bread is not quite done.
  • His elevator does not go to the top floor.
  • He has bats in his attic.
  • His wood is not stacked straight.
  • He's not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
  • His motor will start, but will only idle.
  • He's about 3/4 bubble off plumb.
  • The wheel's turning but the hamster's dead.
  • He's not the brightest crayon in the box.
  • He's got a brain like a BB in a boxcar.
  • His IQ is lower than a snake's belly in a wagon-rut.
  • She's knitting with only one needle.
  • He's A pane short of a window.
  • He's got bats in the belfry.
  • If they made hats the size of his brain he would be wearing a peanut shell.
  • He's A few pickles short of a quart.
  • He's Not the sharpest tool in the shed.
  • He's a few cards short of a full deck.
  • He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
  • A few clowns short of a circus.
  • A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
  • Missing a few buttons on his remote control.

Say hello to Mort.
He's not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

I've also got a list of what has been said about some people at performance reviews:
  • "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom.....and has started to dig."
  • "His men would follow him anywhere...but only out of morbid curiosity."
  • "This employee is really not so much of a 'has-been', but more of a definite 'won't be'."
  • "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."
  • "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."
  • "He gives incompetence a bad name."
  • "He works fast, but, unfortunately, he thinks slow."

And then here's a sign posted by some employees:

We the willing
Led by the unknowing,

Are doing the impossible,

For the ungrateful.

And have done so much

With so little

For so long,

That we are now capable of doing anything

With nothing.

Quote of the Day
As long as there are tests and exams,
there will be prayer in schools.
~Author Unknown

Joke of the Day

An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy.

He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy didn't move.

Then the farmer hollered, "Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy didn't respond.

Once more the farmer commanded, "Pull, Coco, pull!" Nothing.

Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch.

The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times.

"Well... Buddy is blind and if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try!"

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Friday, January 25, 2008


Today, I've got two puzzles for you to solve.

1) The Coal, Carrot and Scarf - Five pieces of coal, a carrot and a scarf are lying on the lawn. Nobody put them on the lawn but there is a perfectly logical reason why they should be there. What is it?

2). Trouble with Sons
- A woman had two sons who were born on the same hour of the same day of the same year. But they were not twins. How could this be so?

I'll give you the answers tomorrow. If you want to give me your solutions ahead of time, email me at
Seat Belt Safety A good friend forwarded this to me a few days ago. There is a new Seat Belt Law. The national Highway Safety Council has done extensive testing on a newly designed seat belt. Results show that accidents can be reduced by as much as 45% when the belt is properly installed. Correct installation is illustrated below....... This is very Important; please pass on to friends and family. THIS MAY SAVE A LIFE!

Quote of the Day
He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away.
~Raymond Hull

Joke of the Day

A man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit.

The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road and got out to see what had become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit was dead. The driver felt so awful he began to cry.

A woman driving down the highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong.

"I feel terrible," he explained. "I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it."

The woman told the man not to worry. She knew what to do. She went to he car trunk and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead rabbit, and sprayed the contents of the can onto the rabbit.

Miraculously, the rabbit came to life, jumped up, waved its paw at the two humans and hopped down the road. 50 feet away the rabbit stopped, turned around, waved at the two again, hopped down the road another 50 feet, turned, waved, and hopped another 50 feet, waved and so on.

The man was astonished. He couldn't figure out what substance could be in the woman's spray can! He ran over to the woman and demanded, " What was in your spray can? What did you spray onto that rabbit?"

The woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label. It said: " 'Hare Spray' Restores Life to Dead Hare. Adds Permanent Wave."

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Thursday, January 24, 2008

Test for Dementia

Someone sent this to me and I thought I would share it with you. Hope your mind is better than mine!

Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important that we keep mentally alert. The saying; "If you don't use it, you'll lose it," also applies to the brain. So, below is a private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence. Take the following test to determine if you are losing it or still "with it." First, get out a piece of paper and a pen or pencil. Now, take a deep breath.....relax.....clear your mind, and..... answer the following questions...

1. What do you put in a toaster?
Go Down to Check Your Answer
Answer: You put "Bread" in a toaster. If you said "toast," then maybe you should give up now and go do something else. But, try not to hurt yourself. If you said, "Bread," then go to Question #2.

2. Say "silk" five times.
Then, spell "silk" three times. Then, answer this question...What do cows drink?
Go Down to Check Your Answer
Answer: Cows drink "Water" If you said "milk," maybe you shouldn't attempt the next question. Your brain is obviously over stressed and may even overheat. It may be that you need to be content with reading something more appropriate, such as "Children's World." However, if you said "Water," please proceed to question #3.

3. If a red house is made from red bricks,
and a blue house is made from blue bricks, and a pink house is made from pink bricks, and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?
Go Down to Check Your Answer
Answer: A greenhouse is made from "glass." If you said, "green bricks," what the devil are you still doing reading these questions? But, if you said "glass," then proceed to Question #4.

4. In 1980, a plane was flying at 20,000 feet over Germany.
Germany at the time, was politically divided into two sections... West Germany and East Germany. During the flight, TWO of the planes engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides to attempt an emergency landing. Unfortunately, the third engine fails before he has time to attempt the emergency landing, and the plane crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land," between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors...East Germany, West Germany or in the middle of "no man's land"?
Go Down to Check Your Answer
Answer: You don't bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else, please promise yourself that you will NEVER try and rescue anyone from a plane crash. Your efforts would not be appreciated. If you said, "You don't bury survivors," then proceed to question #5.

5. If the hour hand on a clock moves 1/60 of a degree every minute, how many degrees will the hour hand move in one hour?
Go Down to Check Your Answer
Answer: One degree. If you said, "360 degrees" or anything other than "one degree," you are to be congratulated on getting this far, but you are obviously out of your league. Put down your paper, turn in your pen or pencil, and exit the room. Everyone else proceed to the final question. Note: Use of a calculator for the following question is forbidden.

6. You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales.
In London, 17 people board the bus. In Reading, six people get off the bus, and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off the bus and four people get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off the bus and 16 people get on. In Swansea, three people get off the bus and five people get on. In Carmathen, six people get off the bus and three people get on. The bus finally arrives at Milford Haven. What was the name of the bus driver?
Go Down to Check Your Answer
Answer: Oh, for crying out loud, don't you remember? YOU are the driver of the bus!!
Quote of the Day
Gardening requires lots of water -
most of it in the form of perspiration.
~Lou Erickson

Joke of the Day

In a small town in the US, there is a rather sizable factory that hires only married men.

Concerned about this, a local woman called on the manager and asked him, "Why is it you limit your employees to married men? Is it because you think women are weak, dumb, cantankerous..or what?"

"Not at all, Ma'am," the manager replied. "It is because our employees are used to obeying orders, are accustomed to being shoved around, know how to keep their mouths shut and don't pout when I yell at them."

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