Thursday, January 24, 2008

Test for Dementia

Someone sent this to me and I thought I would share it with you. Hope your mind is better than mine!

Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important that we keep mentally alert. The saying; "If you don't use it, you'll lose it," also applies to the brain. So, below is a private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence. Take the following test to determine if you are losing it or still "with it." First, get out a piece of paper and a pen or pencil. Now, take a deep breath.....relax.....clear your mind, and..... answer the following questions...

1. What do you put in a toaster?
Go Down to Check Your Answer
Answer: You put "Bread" in a toaster. If you said "toast," then maybe you should give up now and go do something else. But, try not to hurt yourself. If you said, "Bread," then go to Question #2.

2. Say "silk" five times.
Then, spell "silk" three times. Then, answer this question...What do cows drink?
Go Down to Check Your Answer
Answer: Cows drink "Water" If you said "milk," maybe you shouldn't attempt the next question. Your brain is obviously over stressed and may even overheat. It may be that you need to be content with reading something more appropriate, such as "Children's World." However, if you said "Water," please proceed to question #3.

3. If a red house is made from red bricks,
and a blue house is made from blue bricks, and a pink house is made from pink bricks, and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?
Go Down to Check Your Answer
Answer: A greenhouse is made from "glass." If you said, "green bricks," what the devil are you still doing reading these questions? But, if you said "glass," then proceed to Question #4.

4. In 1980, a plane was flying at 20,000 feet over Germany.
Germany at the time, was politically divided into two sections... West Germany and East Germany. During the flight, TWO of the planes engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides to attempt an emergency landing. Unfortunately, the third engine fails before he has time to attempt the emergency landing, and the plane crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land," between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors...East Germany, West Germany or in the middle of "no man's land"?
Go Down to Check Your Answer
Answer: You don't bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else, please promise yourself that you will NEVER try and rescue anyone from a plane crash. Your efforts would not be appreciated. If you said, "You don't bury survivors," then proceed to question #5.

5. If the hour hand on a clock moves 1/60 of a degree every minute, how many degrees will the hour hand move in one hour?
Go Down to Check Your Answer
Answer: One degree. If you said, "360 degrees" or anything other than "one degree," you are to be congratulated on getting this far, but you are obviously out of your league. Put down your paper, turn in your pen or pencil, and exit the room. Everyone else proceed to the final question. Note: Use of a calculator for the following question is forbidden.

6. You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales.
In London, 17 people board the bus. In Reading, six people get off the bus, and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off the bus and four people get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off the bus and 16 people get on. In Swansea, three people get off the bus and five people get on. In Carmathen, six people get off the bus and three people get on. The bus finally arrives at Milford Haven. What was the name of the bus driver?
Go Down to Check Your Answer
Answer: Oh, for crying out loud, don't you remember? YOU are the driver of the bus!!
~~~
Quote of the Day
Gardening requires lots of water -
most of it in the form of perspiration.
~Lou Erickson

~~~
Joke of the Day

In a small town in the US, there is a rather sizable factory that hires only married men.

Concerned about this, a local woman called on the manager and asked him, "Why is it you limit your employees to married men? Is it because you think women are weak, dumb, cantankerous..or what?"

"Not at all, Ma'am," the manager replied. "It is because our employees are used to obeying orders, are accustomed to being shoved around, know how to keep their mouths shut and don't pout when I yell at them."

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