Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Remember Abbott & Costello?

Here's something my Granddaughter, Mandy, sent me. It's good!

You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on.

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their famous sketch, "Who's on First?" might have turned out something like this:

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT


ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?


COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.


ABBOTT: Mac?


COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.


ABBOTT: Your computer?


COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.


ABBOTT: Mac?


COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.


ABBOTT: What about Windows?


COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?


ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?


COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?


ABBOTT: Wallpaper.


COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.


ABBOTT: Software for Windows?


COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?


ABBOTT: Office.


COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?


ABBOTT: I just did.


COSTELLO: You just did what?


ABBOTT: Recommend something.


COSTELLO: You recommended something?


ABBOTT: Yes.


COSTELLO: For my office?


ABBOTT: Yes.


COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?


ABBOTT: Office.


COSTELLO: Yes, ! for my office!


ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows


COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?


ABBOTT: Word.


COSTELLO: What word?


ABBOTT: Word in Office.


COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.


ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.


COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?


ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".


COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?


ABBOTT: Money.


COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?


ABBOTT: Money.


COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?


ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.


COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?


ABBOTT: Money.


COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?


ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.


COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?


ABBOTT: One copy.


COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?


ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.


COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?


ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!


(A few days later)


ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?


COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?


ABBOTT: Click on "START".............

~~~

If you would like to see "Who's On First"... here it is...

~~~
Click here to visit the
Official Fan Club for Abbott and Costello



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Quote of the Day
I have never had so many good ideas day after day
as when I worked in the garden.
~John Erskine

~~~
Joke of the Day

A guy was on trial for murder and if convicted, would get the electric chair. His brother found out that a red neck was on the jury and figured he would be the one to bribe. He told the red neck that he would be paid $10,000 if he could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the charge to manslaughter.

The jury was out an entire week and returned with a verdict of manslaughter.

After the trial, the brother went to the red neck's house, told him what a great job he had done and paid him the $10,000.

The red neck replied that it wasn't easy to convince the rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter. They all wanted to let him go.

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