Thursday, June 5, 2008

Some Things

To Think About....
  • Always remember that you are unique, just like everyone else.
  • If you lend someone $20 and you never see them again, it was probably worth it.
  • There are two theories for arguing with your wife. Neither one works.
  • Never, under any circumstances, take a laxative and sleeping pill the same night.
  • There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness".
  • Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
  • Remember, half the people you know are below average.
  • A clear conscience is usually a sign of a bad memory.
  • Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
  • Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
  • Always try to be modest, and be proud of it.
  • If you think nobody cares... then try missing a couple of payments.
  • Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
  • Everyone has a photographic memory... but some don't have any film.
  • Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.

Whatever you are... be a good one.

Quote of the Day

When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money.
~Susan Heller

Joke of the Day
There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remains quiet.

After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says, "Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?"

The third fellow says "I'll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees."

The first two guys were amazed. "What happened then?" they asked.

"She said, 'get out from under the bed and fight like a man'."

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