Fat Jokes

Did I ever tell you my fat jokes. Probably not, so here goes.

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Don't ever buy any of those Talking Scales. I got a set and then got on the scales. It said, "Only one person at a time, please!" It made me mad.

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I got on the elevator the other day and it stopped on one floor. This skinny guy got on. Man, was he skinny. He could stand under a clothes line and stay dry in a rain storm. I said to him, "You're so skinny! You look like you have been in a famine."

He looked at me and said, "You look like you caused one."

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I went to the doctor. I thought I might have an under active thyroid. He did some tests, and told me no. Instead, he said I had an overactive fork!

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The last time I saw the doctor, he said I needed to lose weight or make more friends. I asked him what that had to do with being overweight. He said 8 pallbearers won't be enough!

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7:30 AM
I just returned from taking Jade to school. I stopped on the way back home to take this picture of a beautiful sunrise. Remember, "Red sky at morning, sailors take warning."

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Quote of the Day

Housework is something you do
that nobody notices until you don't do it.
~Author Unknown

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Joke of the Day

A man goes on a business trip and leaves his cat with a neighbor.

When he calls in to check on the pet the friend says 'Your cat died.'

The man is heartbroken, and asks 'Couldn't you have broken it to me gently? The first time I called you could have said 'The cat is on the roof' and later, 'The cat fell off the roof, and it doesn't look good'', etc, etc.

Well, he gets a new cat, and next time he goes away he leaves the new animal with the same neighbor.

A week later he calls him up and says 'How's my cat?' The neighbor replies, 'Your cat's fine, but your mother is on the roof.'

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