I’m Ready for an Early Spring
I’m plain tired of winter. This picture shows my feelings… Ha!
Don’t get Discouraged. I have proof that spring is on the way. Someone send me a picture of some springtime deer. Just look at these deer frolicking in the backyard.
I’m looking forward to the warm days of spring and even to those hot and humid days of summer. I’m thinking about getting the boat ready, putting the finishing touches on my new fishing tackle, and heading to the lake to go after those early spring crappie.
I love the USA.
Of all the things you wear,
your expression is the most important.
I ran up the door, opened the stairs,
said my pajamas and put on my prayers -
turned off my bed, tumbled into my light,
and all because he kissed me good-night!
Joke of the Day
A mature (over 50) lady gets pulled over for speeding . . .
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see . . . Can I see your vehicle registration papers please? Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please..
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am. One of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.