Monday, July 7, 2008

Nine Words that Women Use

Men need to understand the true meaning to words that women use. Well, I received this list the other day, and think it would have helped me if I had learned it at least 50 years ago. Anyway, it's too late to help me, but some of you young me can benefit from what the older generation have learned about women.

  1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

  2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

  3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

  4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

  5. Loud Sigh: This is actually not a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

  6. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

  7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.

  8. Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying drop dead.

  9. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later r result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to #3.

OK, girls. I know I've got it coming. So go ahead and send me that list for understanding men.

Quote of the Day

Few rich men own their property; the property owns them.
~Robert Ingersoll

Joke of the Day
A man had 50 yard line tickets for the Super Bowl. As he sits down, a man comes down and asked the man if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him "No", he said, "the seat is empty".

"This is incredible", said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Super Bowl , the biggest sport event in the world, and not use it ?"

Somberly, the man says, "Well... the seat actually belongs to me. I was supposed to come here with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we have not been together since we got married in 1967."

"Oh I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else - a friend or relative or even a neighbor to take the seat?"

The man shakes his head , "No. They're all at the funeral."

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1 comment:

SueB. said...

Jim..that is so true! As far as understanding men: They just don't say anything!