Tuesday, July 15, 2008

His and Hers road Trip

Driving You Crazy?
You girls out there will love what I have for today. These new GPS devices may save a lot of marriages, do you think? The guys might listen to the GPS, but not the wife.

1. Pulls off at wrong exit.
2. Opens window

3. Asks directions of a knowledgeable police officer
4. Arrives at destination presently.

1. Pulls off at wrong exit absolutely positive it's the correct one.
2. Drives five miles into wilderness, still thinks he's right.
3. Drives an extra 5 miles just in case.
4. Pulls up to a 7-11
5. Gets three hot-dogs, a large slurpee, and beef jerky
6. Asks person behind counter how to get back onto the highway.
7. Gets back into car.
8. Laughs at the idea of looking at a map as he pulls away from the 7-11.
9. Drives down a dirt road with no streetlights insisting this is the way back because guy from 7-11 said it was.
10. Almost hits a deer
11. Gets mad at the night
12. Gets mad at you
13. Spills the large slurpee
14. Stops by the side of the road to clean off the slurpee
15. Returns to car
16. Drives and fiddles with radio.
17. Yells at you for suggesting the map again
18. Admits he didn't want to go to Thanksgiving at your sister's anyway.
19. He hates your sister.
20. Ever since she called him a pernicious weasel
21. He had to look up pernicious.
22. Couldn't find a dictionary.
23. Finally found a dictionary
24. Couldn't spell pernicious.
25. Seethes at the memory of it all.
26. But she is laughing inside...
27. And of course you're still lost.

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

Quote of the Day
When the world says, "Give up,"
Hope whispers, "Try it one more time."
~Author Unknown

Joke of the Day
A young couple got married and went on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother.

'Well', said her mother, 'so how was the honeymoon?'

'Oh mama', she replied, 'The honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic'. Suddenly she burst out crying.

'But, mama, as soon as we returned, Sam started using the most horrible language -- things I'd never heard before! I mean all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to take me home! PLEASE MAMA!'

'Sarah, Sarah', her mother said, 'calm down! You need to stay with your husband and work this out. Now, tell me, what could be so awful? WHAT 4-letter words?'

Sobbing, the bride said, 'Oh, Mama..., he used words like: dust, wash, iron, and cook...'

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