Summary of Life

A Pretty Good Synopsis
A good friend sent me the following the other day. If you have seen it, just forgive me and move along. If you have not, I think you might enjoy and get a little chuckle.

Summary of Life

GREAT TRUTHS THAT
LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED

1. No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2. When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3. If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4. Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5. You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6. Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7. Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9. Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10. The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's lap.

      GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED 

1. Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2. Wrinkles don't hurt.
3. Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4. Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5. Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6. Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
   

    GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD   

1. Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2. Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3. When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4. You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5. It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6. Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician
7. Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
   
                   THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE              
   
   1) You believe in Santa Claus.
   2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
   3) You are Santa Claus.
   4) You look like Santa Claus.

    MEASURING SUCCESS   

At age 4 success is . . . . Not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . Having friends.
At age 17 success is . . . Having a driver's license.
At age 35 success is . . . Having money.
At age 50 success is . . . Having money..
At age 70 success is . . . Having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . .  Having friends.
At age 80 success is . . .. Not piddling in your pants.

CANDY MAKING POSTPONED UNTIL THURSDAY 
Due to the snow the candy making was cancelled. it is reschedule for Thursday!

 

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
As you age, well, you mature. You see things in a different way. You began to see what’s really important, and what is so trivial.

So what’s trivial? Stuff.
What’s really important? God, Family & Friends.

~~~

Quote of the Day

Nothing is more difficult, and therefore more precious, than to be able to decide.
~Napoleon Bonaparte

~~~
Joke of the Day

Ole and Lars were on their very first train ride. They had brought along bananas for lunch.. Just as they  began to peel them, the train entered a long, dark tunnel.

"Have you eaten your banana yet," Ole asked excitedly?

"No," replied Lars.

"Well, don't touch it then," Ole exclaimed.  "I just took one bite and went blind!"

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