Do you know your ABC’s? I got this in the mail the other day. It’s the ABCs for seniors.
A's for Arthritis;
B. the Bad back;
C's for the chest pains -- perhaps car-d-iac?
D. is for Dental decay and decline,
E. is for Eyesight, can't read that top line!
F. is for Fissures and Fluid retention,
G. is for Gas, which I'd rather not mention.
H. is High blood pressure -- I'd rather it low;
I. for Incisions with scars you can show.
J. is for Joints, out of socket -- won't mend,
K. is for Knees that crack when they bend.
L's for Libido. Where did it go?
M. is for Memory, I forget what comes next...
N. is Neuralgia, in nerves way down low;
O. is for Osteo, bones that don't grow!
P. for Prescriptions, I have quite a few --
just give me a pill and I'll be good as new!
Q. is for Queasy, is it fatal or flu?
R. is for Reflux -- one meal turns to two.
S. is for Sleepless nights, counting my fears;
T. is for Tinnitus; bells in my ears!
U. is for Urinary; troubles with flow;
V. for Vertigo; that's 'dizzy,' you know.
W. for Worry; NOW what's going 'round?
X. is for X-ray, and what might be found.
Y. for another Year I'm left here behind,
Z's for Zest I still have mine... But it’s all my mind!
I’m looking for the fountain of youth. Anybody got any tips? Maybe Hadacol would help…
Do you remember Hadacol. It was a “medicine” that was 12% alcohol. About the time it was popular there was a fishing lure that came out named the “Hadacol’ that was a killer for crappie. I think it would have been in the 1950s. The story went around as to why they name the fishing lure the “hadacol”, and the answer was they “had-a-call” it something!
Don’t forget to set your clocks ahead one hour tonight.
It’s time for daylight savings time.
Peace is not the absence of conflict,
but knowing the presence of God as we have conflict.
as they make up their minds to be.
Joke of the Day
A cab driver reaches the Pearly Gates and announces his presence to St. Peter, who looks him up in his Big Book. Upon reading the entry for the cabby, St. Peter invites him to grab a silk robe and a golden staff and to proceed into Heaven.
A preacher is next in line behind the cabby and has been watching these proceedings with interest. He announces himself to St. Peter. Upon scanning the preacher’s entry in the Big Book, St. Peter furrows his brow and says, “Okay, we’ll let you in, but take that cloth robe and wooden staff.”
The preacher is astonished and replies, “But I am a man of the cloth. You gave that cab driver a gold staff and a silk robe. Surely, I rate higher than a cabby.”
St. Peter responded matter-of-factly: “Here we are interested in results. When you preached, people slept. When the cabby drove his taxi, people prayed.”