From A Friend
This is a nice story sent to me from a friend last week.After a forest fire in Yellowstone National Park, forest rangers began their trek up a mountain to assess the inferno's damage. One ranger found a bird literally petrified in ashes, perched statuesquely on the ground at the base of a tree.
Somewhat sickened by the eerie sight, he knocked over the bird with a stick. When he gently struck it, three tiny chicks scurried from under their dead mother's wings.
The loving mother, keenly aware of impending disaster, had carried her offspring to the base of the tree and had gathered them under her wings, instinctively knowing that the toxic smoke would rise. She could have flown to safety but had refused to abandon her babies.
Then the blaze had arrived and the heat had scorched her small body, the mother had remained steadfast....because she had been willing to die, so those under the cover of her wings would live.
'He will cover you with His feathers, And under His wings you will find refuge.' (Psalm 91:4)
~~~Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
When you can't control the wind,
adjust your sails!!!
~~~Quote of the DayIt's so hard when I have to,
and so easy when I want to.
~Annie Gottlier
~~~
Joke of the DayJoke today is a video from the Carol Burnett Show. It shows a no frills airline. It must be 15 years old and was giving us a look into the future.
Add your thoughts & ideas to this blog by clicking on the "comments" below
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Inspiring
Monday, January 30, 2012
A Birthday Today
My Wife’s Birthday 
Today is Beverly’s birthday. We started celebrating on Saturday with a nice meal at Outback and then ice cream cake at our place with Kevin, Lesley, Kara and Zachary. This picture shows Beverly with Kara and Zachary.
I put up posters and a banner in the house to decorate things for the birthday celebration.
I was thinking about my birthday girl. She is still the woman of my dreams, and I can’t imagine living without her at my side.
I am a lucky man!
Happy Birthday to the Love of My Life!
Hanging out with my wife is still
my favorite thing to do.
than a bushel of brains.
~Dutch Proverb
Joke of the Day
The Talking Centipede -- A single guy decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally bought a talking centipede, (100-legged bug), which came in a little white box to use for his house.
He took the box back home, found a good spot for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to church with him.
So he asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go to church with me today? We will have a good time."
But there was no answer from his new pet.
This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked again, "How about going to church with me and receive blessings?" But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet.
So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation. The guy decided to invite the centipede one last time. This time he put his face up against the centipede's house and shouted, "Hey, in there! Would you like to go to church with me and learn about God?"
This time, a little voice came out of the box, "I heard you the first time! I'm putting my shoes on!"
Friday, January 27, 2012
Some Riddles…
And They Are Good Ones
My friend send me riddles for me to share with you. They will make you think and help to keep your mind active. The answers are at the end. Good luck!
- A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?
- A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?
- What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away ?
- Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Wednesday, Friday, or Sunday?
- This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious as to just how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so ordinary and plain that you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is highly unusual though. Study it and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out. Try to do so without any coaching!
THE ANSWERS TO ALL FIVE THE RIDDLES ARE BELOW:
- The third room. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead. That one was easy, right?
- The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband, developed it, and hung it up to dry (shot; held under water; and hung).
- Charcoal, as it is used in barbecuing.
- Sure you can name three consecutive days, yesterday, today, and tomorrow!
- The letter e, which is the most common letter used in the English language, does not appear even once in the paragraph.
How did you do?
~~~
Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
Today is Friday, and I hope to be back on this blog again on Monday. I hope you have a wonderful weekend.
Remember to smile, and please be kind and pleasant in all your interactions with family, friends, and strangers.
~Plato
Jokes of the Day
Alabama
A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.
"Where's Henry?" the others asked.
"Henry had a stroke o' some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied.
"You left Henry layin' out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired.
"A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one's gonna steal Henry!"
Georgia
The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.
He called her into his office and said, "Y'all graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everthang but my earrings."
Louisiana
A senior citizen in Louisiana was overheard saying ... "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana ."
When asked why, he replied, "I'd rather be in Louisiana 'cause everythang happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the world."
Mississippi
The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"
Bubba replied, "Did y'all see who it was?"
The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."
North Carolina
A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.
A passerby studied the scene as he drove by, and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.
The man replied, "I got a flat tar."
The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"
The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither."
Tennessee
A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?"
The driver replied, "Bout whut?"
Texas
The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch. The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head."
"Yep," he replied. "That's why I'm dumpin' it here, 'cause it says: 'Fine For Dumping Garbage.' "
***
Y'all kin say whut y'all want 'about the South, but y'all never heard o' nobody retirin' an' movin' North.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
A Brain Test Old Gray Matter
Work the Old Gray Matter
My good friend Betty sent me the following “test”. I like brain twisters and enjoyed the test. I won’t tell you how many I missed, and you don’t have to tell me how you do on this test. I hope you enjoy!
1. Johnny's mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. What was the third child's name?
2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh?
3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?
4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet?
5. What word in the English Language is always spelled incorrectly?
6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet his birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible?
7. In California, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?
8. What was the President's name in 1975?
9. If you were running a race, and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now?
10. Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"?
11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field?
Here are the Answers:
1. Johnny's mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. What was the third child's name?
Answer: Johnny of course
2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall, and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh?
Answer: Meat.
3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?
Answer: Mt. Everest; it just wasn't discovered yet. [You're not very good at this are you?]
4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet?
Answer: There is no dirt in a hole.
5. What word in the English Language is always spelled incorrectly? Answer: Incorrectly
6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet her birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible?
Answer: Billy lives in the Southern Hemisphere
7. In California, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?
Answer: You can't take pictures with a wooden leg. You need a camera to take pictures.
8. What was the President's Name in 1975?
Answer: Same as is it now - Barack Obama
[Oh, come on ...]
9. If you were running a race, and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now?
Answer: You would be in 2nd. Well, you passed the person in second place, not first.
10. Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"?
Answer: Neither, the yolk of the egg is yellow [Duh]
11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field?
Answer: One. If he combines all of his haystacks, they all become one big stack.
You can go back to sleep now ....
~~~
Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
The Bible speaks of Faith, Hope, and Charity.
All are important to us, but Charity (Love) is of most importance.
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
~W.C. Fields
Joke of the Day
MEN and WOMEN – A COMPARISON
NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.
EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
The 1948 Tucker
A Revolutionary Automobile 
I vaguely remember seeing one when I was a young boy. I hope my memory doesn’t fail me, but I remember that Dad pointed one of these cars out on Chapman Highway in Knoxville, Tennessee. I remember it impressed me because it was modern looking for the time, and it had three (3) headlights. The middle one turned with the steering wheel to light the way for you on a turn. The picture of the Tucker is from Wikipedia and you can read more about this car at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1948_Tucker_Sedan
I thought it was interesting that only 51 of these cars where produced before it folded in 1951. There was a movie produced in 1988 about this auto and the man who created it. Read more about it here:
Some told me recently that “Bad decisions make good stories. “ It made me think about times when I was going through a bad situation, when I realized that sometime later I would be laughing about it while telling the story. You ever done that?
in order that I may learn how to do it.
~Pablo Picasso
Joke of the Day
Two old Jewish men, Sid and Al, are sitting in a Mexican restaurant in Los Angeles . One day Sid asks Al, "Do you know of any people of our faith born and raised in Mexico ?"
Al replies, "I don't know, let's ask our waiter." When the waiter arrives, Al asks, "Are there any Mexican Jews?" The waiter says, "I don't know, Senor, I ask the cook." He returns from the kitchen a few minutes later and says, "No, Senor, the cook say no Mexican Jews."
Al isn't satisfied and asks, "Are you absolutely sure?" The waiter, realizing he is dealing with 'Gringos,' replies, "I check once again, Senor." While the waiter is away, Sid says, "I find it hard to believe that there are no Jews in Mexico . Our people are scattered everywhere. The waiter returns and says, "Senor, the head cook say there is no Mexican Jews." Al asks, "Are you certain? I just can't believe there are no Mexican Jews."
The exasperated waiter says, "Senor, I ask EVERYONE. All we have is Orange Jews, Grape Jews, Prune Jews and Tomato Jews.
(The above joke reminded me of the time when we were dining in a local Mexican Restaurant. We had spent time in Mexico and as we were eating we were wondering what type of cheese they used. We were guessing it was Manchego or some other variety. So we asked the server to check for us. He returned after a visit to the kitchen and told us it was Land O’Lakes. Ooookay.)
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Mathematics
Beauty and Symmetry of Numbers
Here’s interesting presentation someone sent me about mathematics. It show some of the interesting things about our number system. Click on the picture below:
I don’t believe that assigning numbers to letters to see what value certain words have has any meaning whatsoever. You’ll see that at the end of the presentation.
The devil when he tempted Jesus took him to a high place and had him look down. God wants to take us to a low place and have us look up.
soon grow color-blind.
~Austin O'Malley
Joke of the Day
My friend was lying in bed pondering the problems of body consciousness, he rapidly realized that:
- If walking/cycling is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.
- A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, and is fat.
- A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years.
- A tortoise doesn't run and does nothing, yet it lives for 450 years.
And you tell me to exercise and hurry up?? I don't think so.I'm a senior. Go around me!
Monday, January 23, 2012
Men and Depression
I received the following the other day from a friend, and while I thought it was funny, I thought it was true.
WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED-- Men Are Just Happier People
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
- Your last name stays put.
- The garage is all yours.
- Wedding plans take care of themselves.
- Chocolate is just another snack...
- You can be President.
- You can never be pregnant.
- You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
- You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
- Car mechanics tell you the truth.
- The world is your urinal.
- You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
- You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
- Same work, more pay.
- Wrinkles add character.
- Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
- People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
- New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
- One mood all the time.
- Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
- You know stuff about tanks.
- A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
- You can open all your own jars.
- You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
- If someone forgets to invite you, He or she can still be your friend.
- Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
- Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
- You almost never have strap problems in public.
- You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes..
- Everything on your face stays its original color.
- The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.
- You only have to shave your face and neck.
- You can play with toys all your life.
- One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
- You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
- You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
- You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
- You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives On December 24 in 25 minutes.
Men Are Just Happier People
One of my favorite funny saying is a quote,
“All Indians walk single file.
Well, the one I saw did.”
on the door to wisdom.
~Merry Browne
Joke of the Day
My joke today is in the form of a video. I think you will enjoy President Reagan’s humor.
Friday, January 20, 2012
The Dentist
Regular Appointment
Today I go to the dentist. It’s just a regular checkup. I will get my teeth cleaned and then examined carefully by the dentist. When I thought of the dentist this morning, I was reminded of this funny comedy routine with Tim Conway. It made me laugh, so I hope it will make you smile today.
Have a great day and great weekend! I hope to be back on this blog next week. Do take good care.
Perform a random act of kindness to a stranger.
Also, I hope you see lots of smiles.
.
~George-Louis de Buffon
Joke of the Day
If you are a senior you will understand this one, if you deal with seniors, this should help you understand them a little better, and if you are not a senior yet........God willing, someday you will be......
The 2.99 Special
We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the 'seniors' special' was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $2.99.
'Sounds good,' my wife said. 'But I don't want the eggs..'
'Then, I'll have to charge you $3.49 because you're ordering a la carte,' the waitress warned her.
'You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?' my wife asked incredulously.
'YES!' stated the waitress..
'I'll take the special then,' my wife said..
'How do you want your eggs?' the waitress asked.
'Raw and in the shell,' my wife replied. She took the two eggs home and baked a cake.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Can You Communicate?
A Good Lesson
While at Zachary’s School (Elementary Grades 1-5) a few days ago, I noticed the following poster on the wall.
If you can’t read the words, it says,
Write a Satisfying Paragraph
- Start with a topic sentence that
covers all you want to say. - Give the reader three juicy details.
One. Two. Three. - End with a filling conclusion.
I was impressed with the above poster and hope they are using it to teach young students how to write effectively. Also hoping this will be carried over into oral communication.
Tips for public speaking have been around for ages. It’s a shame people don’t apply some of these tips when they make a speech or short talk. Here’s a couple I heard some years ago:
Tip One
- Tell them what you are going to tell them.
- Tell them.
- Tell them what you told them.
Tip Two
- Have a good beginning.
- Have a good ending.
- Keep the beginning and ending close together.
The key elements often are to not ramble and to be brief. We all like for the speaker to get to the point and be brief. That’s good advice for all of us when we are trying to get a point across.
We could apply that elementary school poster to most of our communication these days.
Communication is not a one way street. True communication occurs when the person receiving the message understands the exact information/idea that the speaker intended to transmit.
That my friend, is a difficult task.
~Aesop
Joke of the Day
A very old man lay dying in his bed. In death's doorway, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookie wafting up the stairs.
He gathered his remaining strength and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort forced himself down the stairs, gripping the railing with both hands. With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven. There, spread out on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favorite chocolate chip cookies. Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?
Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the table. The aged and withered hand, shaking, made its way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when he was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife.
"Stay out of those," she said. "They're for the funeral.”
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
The Beauty o Pollination
From a TED Talk
Here’s an excerpt from a TED video that shows the beauty of pollination. The nature around us is amazing, and much of it goes unnoticed by humans.
Click here to watch the complete presentation by Louie Schwartzberg : Click Here
(From here you can watch in full screen view.)
~~~
Nature provides us with both beauty and lessons for life.
you have never been in bed with a mosquito.
~Betty Reese
Joke of the Day
A note from a friend:
Are you really concerned about North Korea's appointment of the "dear leader", Kim Jung Ill's youngest son to be the new leader of North Korea -- a nuclear power!
After all, Kim Jung Un (pronounced Kim's young-un?) had NO military experience whatsoever before daddy made him a four-star general in the military. This is a snot-nose twerp who has never accomplished anything in his life that would even come close to military leadership: he hasn't even so much as led a cub scout troop, let alone coached a sports team or commanded a military platoon. So, setting that a side, next they make him the "beloved leader" of the country. Terrific!!!
Oh, me! I'm sorry. I just remembered that we did the same thing here, we took a community organizer, a guy who has never led anything more than an ACORN demonstration; one who has never even worn a uniform, and made him Commander-in-Chief - the leader of this country. Guess we’re not so different from North Korea after all……
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Habits? Good or Bad
Maybe Both
We’ve all got habits. We do some things just without thinking. Some of these are good, but other habits we have may not be so good.
We would like to maintain our good habits, but get rid of our bad habits. I think the key to this is replacing a bad habit with a good habit. I saw this at the following web site: Tips for Breaking Bad Habits
They say everyone has some habit(s) they they would like to eliminate. If you do, you might want to check out that web site for some ideas to help you.
Exercise
Exercise is good for you. I believe there are three kinds of exercise we need every week: Aerobics, strength/flexibility, and mental. My plan for 2012 is as follows:
- Aerobics: 3-6 times per week, at least 30 minutes per time.
- Strength/flexibility: 3 times per week. 30-45 minutes each.
- Mental: Daily. Problem solving, puzzles, reading.
Do your best.
No one can be ashamed if they do their best.
by lighting another candle.
~Author Unknown
Joke of the Day
A toothpaste factory had a problem: they sometimes shipped empty boxes, without the tube inside. This was due to the way the production line was set up, and people with experience in designing production lines will tell you how difficult it is to have everything happen with timing so precise that every single unit coming out of it is perfect 100% of the time.
Small variations in the environment (which can't be controlled in a cost-effective fashion) mean you must have quality assurance checks smartly distributed across the line so that customers all the way down to the supermarket don't get ticked-off and buy another product instead.
Understanding how important that was, the CEO of the toothpaste factory got the top people in the company together and they decided to start a new project, in which they would hire an external engineering company to solve their empty boxes problem, as their engineering department was already too stretched to take on any extra effort. The project followed the usual process: budget and project sponsor allocated, RFP, third-parties selected, and six months (and $8 million) later they had a fantastic solution - on time, on budget, high quality and everyone in the project had a great time.
They solved the problem by using high-tech precision scales that would sound a bell and flash lights whenever a toothpaste box would weigh less than it should. The line would stop, and someone had to walk over and yank the defective box out of it, pressing another button when done to re-start the line.
A while later, the CEO decides to have a look at the ROI of the project: amazing results! No empty boxes ever shipped out of the factory after the scales were put in place. Very few customer complaints and they were gaining market share. "That's some money well spent!" - he says, before looking closely at the other statistics in the report. It turns out; the number of defects picked up by the scales was 0, after three weeks of production use. It should've been picking up at least a dozen a day, so maybe there was something wrong with the report.
He launched an investigation, and after some work, the engineers come back saying the report was actually correct. The scales really weren't picking up any defects, because all boxes that got to that point in the conveyor belt were good. Puzzled, the CEO traveled down to the factory, and walked up to the part of the line where the precision scales were installed.
A few feet before the scale, there was a $20 desk fan, blowing any empty boxes off of the belt and into a bin. "Oh, that," says one of the workers - "one of the guys put it there 'cause he was tired of walking over every time the bell rang".
Monday, January 16, 2012
A Good Day
With a Great Guy
We had good times on Saturday celebrating Kevin’s birthday. First we went to Zachary’s basketball game. They won convincingly, and Zachary got to play almost a full quarter. He really hustled.
Next we went to Riverfront Seafood for a nice meal and conversation, then on to Kevin’s for cake and ice cream. Actually it was an ice cream cake.
Lesley told us about picking up the cake at Baskin Robbins the day before his birthday. She told the clerk she wanted two ice cream cakes, one for Saturday and a smaller one for the night before. She explained that “he couldn’t wait until Saturday for his cake… that’s why I’m getting two cakes.” The clerk asked, “How old is he?” Lesley smiled and said “Forty-four.” The clerk said, “oh…” with a funny look on her face.
Here’s a few pictures from Saturday…
 |  |
 |  |
I’m really liking my new iPhone 4s.
Just learned I can use it with Skype,
and both the front and rear cameras work.
but no one thinks of changing himself.
~Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy
Joke of the Day
Cletus is passing by Billy Bob's hay barn one day in Iowa when, through a gap in the door, he sees Billy Bob doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old green John Deere.
Buttocks clenched, he performs a slow pirouette, and gently slides off first the right strap of his overalls, followed by the left. He then hunches his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move, lets his overalls fall down to his hips, revealing a torn and
frayed plaid shirt. Then, grabbing both sides of his shirt, he rips it apart to reveal his stained T-shirt underneath. With a final flourish, he tears the T-shirt from his body, and hurls his baseball cap onto a pile of hay.
Having seen enough, Cletus rushes in and says, "What the world're ya doing, Billy Bob?"
"Good grief, Cletus, ya scared the bejeebers out of me," says an obviously embarrassed Billy Bob.
"But me 'n the wife been havin trouble lately in the bedroom d'partment, and the therapist suggested I do something sexy to a tractor."
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Cute puppy
Be thankful.
Friday, January 13, 2012
Be Careful Today!
Snow? Yes We Have Snow!
The temperature was in the 50’s in the mid afternoon yesterday. I had my doubts about snow, but the temperature dropped like a rock and we had snow coming down before I hit the sack. This morning we have only an inch on the ground and it is in the low 20s. Why should I doubt the weather forecasters? Answer: We live in East Tennessee.
Hey! It really is Friday the 13th 
Yes, this day has come upon us. Watch out for ladders, black cats, broken mirrors, etc. Today is considered one of the unluckiest days in the calendar year, but don’t worry, it’s just another day.
Are you superstitious? As for myself, I am not, but I do like to joke about Friday the 13th. You probably know that much about me.
Be Positive
My cousin, Karen, sent me the following about being positive. Today would be a good day to start being more positive. We have a lot to be thankful for.
THE POSITIVE SIDE OF LIFE: Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun every year.
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.
Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live.
Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.
Ever notice that the people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have to wait for them?
Most of us go to our grave with our music still inside of us.
If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day, how come nothing is free yet?
You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.
Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened.
We could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors....but they all exist very nicely in the same box.
A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
Tomorrow is Kevin’s Birthday!
My son, Kevin, has a birthday tomorrow, January 14. He’ll be 44 years old. He’s a great son, loving husband, and caring father. I wish him a very happy birthday.
We’ll be celebrating tomorrow after Zachary’s basketball game by eating a local restaurant, and then going to his home for cake and ice cream.
Happy Birthday To Kevin
Above under being positive, once sentence was;
Don't cry because it's over;
smile because it happened.
I was thinking that you could also say:
smile because it’s over.
What flatterers say, try to make true.
~German Proverb
Joke of the Day
On a busy street in New York City, a man hustles across an intersection and is just about makes it to the other side before he’s hit by a bus. He lies dying on the sidewalk as a crowd gathers around.
"A priest. Somebody get me a priest!" the man gasps.
A policeman checks the crowd, but there is no priest, no minister, no man of God of any kind.
"A priest, please!" repeats the dying man.
Then out of the crowd steps a little old Jewish man of at least 80 years.
"Mr. Policeman," says the man, "I’m not a priest. I’m not even a Catholic. But for 50 years now I’ve been living behind St. Elizabeth’s Catholic Church on First Avenue, and every night I listen to the Catholic litany. Maybe I can be of some comfort to this man."
The policeman agrees and brings the gentleman over to where the dying man is lying. He kneels down, leans over the injured and says in a solemn voice: "B-4. I-19. N-38. G-54. O-72."
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Snow?
(I'm posting this from my phone to test it out)
Rednecks
There’s A Good Side to Those Rednecks
I received the following from a redneck friend of mine the other day. I wanted to share with my other redneck friends. I may have posted something like this before… but I can’t remember.
We have enjoyed the redneck jokes for years. It's time to take a reflective look at the core beliefs of a culture that values home, family, country and God. If I had to stand before a dozen terrorists who threaten my life, I'd
choose a half dozen or so rednecks to back me up. Tire irons, squirrel guns and grit -- that's what rednecks are made of.
You might be a redneck if: It never occurred to you to
be offended by the phrase, 'One nation, under God..'
You might be a redneck if: You've never protested about seeing the 10 Commandments posted in public places.
You might be a redneck if: You still say ' Christmas'
instead of 'Winter Festival.'
You might be a redneck if: You bow your head when
someone prays.
You might be a redneck if: You stand and place your
hand over your heart when they play the National Anthem.
You might be a redneck if: You treat our armed forces
veterans with great respect, and always have.
You might be a redneck if: You've never burned an
American flag, nor intend to.
You might be a redneck if: You know what you believe
and you aren't afraid to say so, no matter who is listening.
You might be a redneck if: You respect your elders and
raised your kids to do the same. Some of you are so old you don't have elders to respect.
You might be a redneck if: You'd give your last dollar to a friend.
You might be a redneck if: You believe in God & Jesus
and believe that others have the right to believe in which ever God they believe in as long as their God does not tell them to kill anyone who does not believe the same as they do!!!!!
About Grandmother
Ol’ Granddaddy is dragging because Grandmother is not up to par. The first week in January she had a bug or a case of the flu. She just got over that, and last Tuesday they diagnosed her with a case of Shingles. She not feeling very good, and when she hurts, Granddaddy hurts too.
I heard this yesterday, “IF YOU GET TO
THINKIN' YOU'RE A PERSON OF SOME INFLUENCE, TRY ORDERING SOMEBODY ELSE'S DOG AROUND.” My advice is to be humble.
.
~~~
~Charles Haddon Spurgeon
Joke of the Day
While crossing the US-Mexican border on his bicycle, the man was stopped by a guard who pointed to two sacks the man had on his shoulders. "What's in the bags?", asked the guard.
"Sand," said the cyclist. "Get them off - we'll take a look," said the guard. The Cyclist did as he was told, emptied the bags, and proving they contained nothing but sand, reloaded the bags, put them on his shoulders and continued across the border.
Two weeks later, the same thing happened. Again the guard demanded to see the two bags, which again contained nothing but sand.
This went on every week for six months, until one day the cyclist with the sand bags failed to appear. A few days later, the guard happened to meet the cyclist downtown.
"Say friend, you sure had us crazy", said the guard. "We knew you were smuggling something across the border. I won't say a word - but what is it you were smuggling?"
"Bicycles!"
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Cell Phones & Digital Cameras
Wonders of the Ages?
I love my cell phone. It’s smart, but I am dumb. I still like it. It’s very useful. I try to use my phone correctly.
You might not think so much of cell phones if they cause an accident. So be careful and don’t try to text or dial numbers when you drive. It’s better not to use a phone at all when you are driving. It just takes a second to have an accident.
A good friend sent me the following. It’s a cell phone for seniors! Someone made this phone with a Photoshop type program. It has a rotary dial! Remember those?
Digital Cameras are another wonderful invention. I sure wish I had one years ago. Now I’ve got all these old photographs and slides that eventually will fade away. I need to scan more of them so they can be saved for future generations of our family.
I got my first digital camera in December of 2001. It was a gift from my Dad. I really enjoyed the camera… it got me going into the digital picture age.
There have been many times in the past when I wish I had a camera with me. One time in particular (maybe in the 1960s or 1970s) there was a new Western Auto store to open on Eastman Road in Kingsport, TN. They had the sign ready to put on the building with a small crane. My mouth dropped open and I could not believe my eyes. The sign read:
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Joke of the Day
The young mother skeptically examined a new educational toy. "Isn't it rather complicated for a small boy?" she asked the salesclerk.
"It's designed to teach the child how to live in today's world, madam," the shop clerk replied. "Any way he tries to put it together is wrong."
