Some Good Ones
A good friend sent me these two “come backs”… have ever had a good “come back”?
If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer's credibility .....
Q: 'Officer --- did you see my client fleeing the scene?'
A: 'No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.'
Q: 'Officer -- who provided this description?'
A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.'
Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?'
A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'
Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?'
A: 'Yes sir, we do!'
Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?'
A: 'Yes, sir, ... I do.'
Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'
A: 'Yes, sir.'
Q: 'Now, ... why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?'
A: 'You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.'
The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called.
In an interview, General Norman Schwarzkopf was asked if he thought there was room for forgiveness toward the people who have harbored and abetted the terrorists who perpetrated the 9/11 attacks on America.
His answer was classic Schwarzkopf.
The General said, "I believe that forgiving them is God's function ..... OUR job is just to arrange the meeting."
A Good Thing To Do In 2012
When you forward email, please remove all email addresses, and use BCC. I understand that this will help stop spammers and viruses.
Kara’s Birthday Tomorrow!
My granddaughter, Kara, has a birthday tomorrow. She’s growing up fast. She’ll be fourteen years old! My other granddaughter, Mandy, is 28, so Kara is 1/2 of Mandy’s age. Grandmother pointed that out.
Kara, we wish you a very
Here’s picture of her taken on Christmas day.
Good advice for 2012:
Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck
And pay off your credit cards every month.
at peace with your neighbors,
and let each new year find you a better man.
Joke of the Day
A New Year Resolution, through the Years
2005: I will get my weight down below 180.
2006: I will watch my calories until I get below 190.
2007: I will follow my new diet until I get below 200.
2008: I will develop a good attitude about my weight.
2009: I will work out 5 days a week.
2010: I will work out 3 days a week.
2011: I will try to drive past a gym at least once a week.