Puzzle Answers

The 5 Puzzles and ANSWERS

1. A man is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?
   
   Answer: The third room. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead. That one was easy, right?
   
   
2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?
   
   Answer: The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband, developed it, and hung it up to dry (shot; held under water; and hung).
   
   
3. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away ?
   
   Answer: Charcoal, as it is used in barbecuing.
   
   
4. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Wednesday, Friday, or Sunday?
   
   Answer: Sure you can name three consecutive days, yesterday, today, and tomorrow!
   
   
5. This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious as to just how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so ordinary and plain that you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is highly unusual though. Study it and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out. Try to do so without any coaching!
   
   Answer: The letter e, which is the most common letter used in the English language, does not appear even once in the paragraph.

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If Gas Costs Keep Rising
Our roads might look like this...


(Don, Thanks for this photo!)

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A little thought... Live in such a way that if anyone should speak badly of you, no one would believe it.

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Quote of the Day

Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible.
~Doug Larson

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Jokes of the Day

Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley. "I was in that new restaurant across the street," said one. "It's so clean! The kitchen is spotless, the floors are gleaming white. It's so sanitary the whole place shines."

"Please," said the other roach, frowning. "Not while I'm eating!"

~~~

Q: What do you say to an Arts graduate with a job?
A: I'll have a hamburger please.

~~~

Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

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Puzzles

Five Puzzles

1. A man is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?
   
   
2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?
   
   
3. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away ?
   
   
4. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Wednesday, Friday, or Sunday?
   
   
5. This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious as to just how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so ordinary and plain that you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is highly unusual though. Study it and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out. Try to do so without any coaching!
   

Answers Tomorrow!!!

(Thanks to Betty P. for sharing these puzzles)

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A Little Thought...
Enjoy the little things in life... for one day you'll look back and realize they were the big things.

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Quote of the Day
A friend is one of the nicest things you can have,
and one of the best things you can be.
~Douglas Pagels

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Joke of the Day

A husband and wife came for counseling after 15 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 15 years they had been married.

She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking the wife to stand, embraced and kissed her passionately as her husband watched with a raised eyebrow.

The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze. The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?"

The husband thought for a moment and replied, "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish."

~ Thanks to Bob L. for sharing this joke!

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Scenery and Picasa Web Albums

I started a new Picasa Web Album a few days ago. It is just for scenery pictures that I take during 2008. Usually after I snap 50 or so pictures, I find one or two that I like. This is that kind of album. Most of the pictures will be in East Tennessee and will just include scenes around the area.



You can also access it here: Jim's 2008 Scenery Album. And, you can access all my Picasa Web Albums here at: Jim's Public Gallery.

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Quote of the Day

Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.
~Samuel Ullman

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Joke of the Day

This is the story of two elderly people living in a mobile home park in Strathmore. He was a widower and she a widow. They had known each other for a number of years.

One evening there was a community supper at the Club House and the widower and the widow made a foursome with two other singles. They had a wonderful evening and spirits were high.

The widower sent a few admiring glances across the table and the widow smiled coyly back at him. Finally he plucked up his courage to ask her, "Will you marry me?"

After about six seconds of careful consideration, she answered, "Yes, yes I will?"

The meal ended with a few more pleasant exchanges and they went to their respective homes.

The next morning the widower was troubled. Did she say Yes or did she say No? He couldn't remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall. He went over the conversation of the previous evening, but his mind was blank. He remembered asking the question but for the life of him could not recall her response.

With fear and trepidation he picked up the phone and called her. First he explained that he didn't remember as well as he use to. Then he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he gained a little more courage he then inquired of her. "When I asked if you would marry me, did you say Yes or did you say No?

"Why you silly man I said "Yes, Yes I will". And I meant it with all my heart."

The widower was delighted. He felt his heart skip a beat.

Then she continued. "And I am so glad you called because I couldn't remember who asked me.

~Thanks to Retha L. for sharing

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School Prayer

Awesome
Since the Pledge of Allegiance And The Lord's Prayer Are not allowed in most Public schools anymore Because the word 'God' is mentioned.... A 15 year old student in Arizona wrote the following:

Now I sit me down in school
Where praying is against the rule
For this great nation under God
Finds mention of Him very odd.

If Scripture now the class recites,
It violates the Bill of Rights.
And anytime my head I bow
Becomes a Federal matter now.

Our hair can be purple, orange or green,
That's no offense; it's a freedom scene.
The law is specific, the law is precise.
Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.

For praying in a public hall
Might offend someone with no faith at all.
In silence alone we must meditate,
God's name is prohibited by the state.

We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,
And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks..
They've outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible.
To quote the Good Book makes me liable.

We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,
And the 'unwed daddy,' our Senior King.
It's 'inappropriate' to teach right from wrong,
We're taught that such 'judgments' do not belong.

We can get our condoms and birth controls,
Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles.
But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,
No word of God must reach this crowd.

It's scary here I must confess,
When chaos reigns the school's a mess.
So, Lord, this silent plea I make:
Should I be shot; My soul please take!

Amen
(Thanks to Bill S. for sharing the above.)

Went Fishing Yesterday
Ralph and I went to Douglas yesterday and caught 15 crappie. It was slow fishing, but we enjoyed being on the water and catching a few fish. Here's a picture of me with the stringer. You know I am happy, right! (Left click on the picture for a larger view)

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Quote of the Day

The best way to predict your future is to create it.
~Peter Drucker

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Jokes of the Day

Children in Church

A 6-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a church service: "And forgive us our trash passes, as we forgive those who passed trash against us."

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A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."

~~~

A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"

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Fishing Video and More

Fishing Video
I finished making a little video based on some pictures and video clips I made last Friday when we were fishing on Douglas Lake. I posted it on YouTube and have embedded it here if you would like to watch it.



I'm planning to be out on the lake again today, so when you watch that video you'll get a little idea of what we are doing.

You can check out other YouTube videos I have made here: Jim's YouTube Videos. I'm still learning, and still have a lot to learn.

Special Effects Make-up
I thought this was most interesting. Watch this video to see how a young girl is transformed into an aged woman.

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Quote of the Day

Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.
~Theodore Roosevelt

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Joke of the Day

CARDS YOU'LL NEVER SEE IN HALLMARK:

"Looking back over the years that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder:...
What was I thinking?"

"Congratulations on your wedding day...
Too bad no one likes your wife."

"How could two people as beautiful you...
have such an ugly baby?"

"I've always wanted to have someone to hold,
someone to love...
After having met you, I've changed my mind."

"As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
that you're not here to ruin it for me."

"Someday I hope to get married...
but not to you."

"You look great for your age...
Almost Lifelike!"

"We have been friends for a very long time...
What do you say we call it quits?"

"I'm so miserable without you...
It's almost like you're here."

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Japanese Trains

Japanese Trains
Going to work in Japan on the train seems to be an interesting adventure. Check this Youtube video on how they get packed in on the trains. I don't know about you, but I definitely could not take this. See for yourself:


This is so different than what I saw when I visited Japan back in the early 1990s. The trains we rode where not crowded and it was a pleasant experience. Things have either changed, or we did not see what rush hour was really like.

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Quote of the Day

Never miss an opportunity to make others happy,
even if you have to leave them alone in order to do it.
~Author Unknown

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Joke of the Day

Women's Bumper Stickers

• So many men - so few who can afford me
• If you want breakfast in bed sleep in the kitchen
• Don't treat me any differently than you would the queen
• Coffee, chocolate, men - some things are just better rich
• How can I miss you if you won't go away?
• Guys have feelings too but like ... who cares?
• Next mood swing is in 6 minutes
• And your point is?
• Of course I don't look busy... I did it right the first time.
• Do not start with me... you will not win!
• I’m one of those bad things that happen to good people
• Sorry if I look interested, I’m not

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A Few Thoughts Plus Some "Special" Dogs

Some Thoughts!
Here's some good advice: Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

Did you ever think that it may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others. (Oh, I hope not!)

Remember it is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.

Having someone to love is family.
Having somewhere to go is home.
Having both is a blessing.

Amazing Dogs
Check out these amazing dogs...

Here's Pete, an amazing skateboarding dog

And Here's a bulldog that also skateboards

And the most amazing of all, a two-legged dog
that walks like a human

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Quote of the Day

I am an old man and have known a great many troubles,
but most of them never happened.
~Mark Twain

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Joke of the Day

This is a letter to an insurance company from a bricklayer that got injured on the job. I hope you see the humor in it and enjoy it as much as I have. Honestly, I laugh every time I read it.

To Whom It May Concern

I am writing in response to your request for additional information in block #3 of the accident reporting form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully and I trust that the following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I discovered that I had about 500 pounds of bricks left over. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley which, fortunately, was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the brick into it. Then I went back to ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of the 500 pounds of bricks. You will note in block # 11 of the accident reporting form that I weigh 135 pounds.

Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate up the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming down. This explains the fractured skull and broken collarbone.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.

Fortunately, by this time I had regained presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope in spite of my pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground - and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel weighed approximately 50 pounds. I refer you again to my weight in block # 11. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles and the lacerations of my legs and lower body. The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of bricks and, fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the bricks, in pain, unable to stand, and watching the empty barrel six stories above me, I again lost my presence of mind - And Let Go Of The Rope!!!

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Tomatoes & Relax for a While

Dad's Tomato Garden
Kevin and I helped Dad and Mary plant his tomatoes yesterday. We had a great time doing it. This first picture shows Dad in his garden before the plantings. And the second picture show him in the garden as we were finishing up.

I think Dad has some more pictures on his Tomato Garden Journal and in his Tomato Garden Picture Album for 2008.

Dad had a great big smile on his face yesterday. I wonder why?

Relaxing
Just watch these beautiful clouds and relax. Put the video in full screen mode and float through the sky. I found it very relaxing.

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Special Quote for Mandy

Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced,
you can't be promoted.

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Quote of the Day

You can go anywhere you want
if you look serious and carry a clipboard

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Joke of the Day

Did you hear about the blonde that:

• Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
• Got fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....Helllloooo!!!.....bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!
• Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years!"
• Got trapped on escalator for hours.....power went out!!!
• Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!
• Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.
• Got locked out of her car in rain storm.....car swamped because soft-top was open.
• Said the capital of California is "C".....isn't it???
• Hates M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.
• Baked a turkey for 4 1/2 days.....instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!!
• Couldn't call 911....."duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!!!

Rough Life!

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Good Advice

Fishing Album for 2008

Here's a direct link to the slide show at Picasa Web Albums

Tomato Day at Dad's
Kevin and I are going to Dad's today to help him plant some tomatoes. It looks like a good day for it. You will probably find some pictures tomorrow on Dad's Tomato Garden Journal.

Good Advice: From a Dog
If a dog was your teacher you would learn stuff like:

• When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
• Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
• Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
• When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.
• Let others know when they've invaded your territory.
• Take naps.
• Stretch before rising.
• Run, romp, and play daily.
• Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
• Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
• On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.
• On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
• When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
• No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout... run right back and make friends.
• Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
• Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.
• Stop when you have had enough.
• Be loyal. Never pretend to be something you're not.
• If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
• When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.

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Quotes of the Day

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

&

Generally speaking,
you aren't learning much
when your mouth is moving.

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Joke of the Day

There were two old guys, Abe and Sol, sitting on a bench in a park feeding pigeons and talking about baseball, just like they did every day. Abe turns to Sol and says, "Do you think there's baseball in heaven?"

Solomon thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno, Abe. But let's make a deal: If I die first, I will come back and tell you -- and if you die first, you come back and tell me -- if there is baseball in heaven."

They shake on it and, sadly, a few months later poor Abe passes on. One day soon afterward, Sol is sitting there feeding the pigeons by himself when he hears a voice whisper, "Sol... Sol...."

Sol responds, "Abe! Is that you?" "Yes it is Sol," whispers the spirit of Abe. Sol, still amazed, asks, "So, is there baseball in heaven?"

"Well," says Abe says, "I got good news and I got bad news." "Gimme the good news first," says Sol. Abe says, "Well... there is baseball in heaven."

Sol says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that!?"

Abe sighs and whispers, "You're pitching on Friday."

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Fishing and Elephants

Fishing Yesterday
Went to Douglas Lake yesterday. You couldn't have asked for a nicer and more beautiful day. Doug, Ralph and I had a great time. We had a good day, too. We caught a total of 24 fish, and brought home 21 big crappie. Here's a picture of Doug with the stringer.

I like days on the lake like that!

Elephants
My appreciation for the intelligence of elephants was greatly increased when I saw the YouTube video below. I urge to to watch it to the end. You'll be amazed that an elephant can actually paint a picture of another elephant. This is really good, and almost unbelievable.

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Quote of the Day

"I must do something" always solves more problems than
"Something must be done."
~Author Unknown

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Joke of the Day

A man was passing through the country. He stopped at a small country grocery store to buy a snack and soft drink. Outside the front of the store there were big bags of salt. Then he went inside, and it seemed that every aisle had some form of salt for sale. Big bags of salt, little bags of salt, boxes of salt of all sizes, blocks of salt, picnic salt shakers and all sorts of salt. Everywhere he turned in the store he salt, and more salt for sale.

This created in him a curiosity as to why there was so much salt for sale in this little country store. So he walked up to the owner, and asked, "You must really sell a lot of salt around here. don't you?"

The owner replied, "Oh, no, we hardly sell any salt, But there is a salesman that comes through here routinely, and, my, my... he really sells the salt!"
Note: The above joke was told to me by my Dad many years ago.

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Watch Your Speed

New Speed Control Device
Do you think you would slow down if you saw a road like in these picture?

Yes, I think I would definitely slow down, and wait for the jolt of hitting big potholes.

But guess what, these are not real potholes.



They are actually a speed control device. See the picture below. Who knows, it just might work.









How about that! I like this a lot better than those new speed cameras!

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Here's a little slide show I assembled with some pictures sent to me of some interesting creations with food items. This took a lot of imagination, a sharp knife, and a steady hand. Enjoy!

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Quote of the Day

Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing,
because he could only do a little.
~Edmund Burke

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Joke of the Day

One day a man took the train from Paris to Frankfurt. When he got in he said to the ticket man:

"Sir. I really need you to do me a favor, I have to get off this train in Mannheim, but I'm very tired and it is for sure that I will fall asleep. So what I want you to do is that you wake me up in Mannheim because I have to close a business there and it is very important for me. Here you have 100 francs for the favor. But I warn you sometimes when people wake me up I get really violent, but no matters what I do or say you got to get me out of this train in Mannheim. Is that clear?"

So the ticket man agreed and took the 100 francs. Later as the man had said he fall asleep, and when he woke up he realized that he was in Frankfurt. He was so mad at the ticket man that he ran over and started yelling at the ticket man.

"Are you stupid or something??? I paid you 100 francs so that you wake me up in Mannheim. And you didn't, so I want my money back!"

While the man was yelling at the ticket guy, two other guys that were also in the train were looking at them, so one turns to the other and says to him:

Man 1: "Look at this guy! He is mad!"

Man 2: "Yeah! He's almost as mad as the guy they made get out of the train in Mannheim."

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A Tribute of Thanks

I received an email with the following note. I wanted to share with you.

The elderly parking lot attendant wasn't in a good mood! Neither was Sam Bierstock. It was around 1 a.m., and Bierstock, a Delray Beach, Fla., eye doctor, business consultant, corporate speaker and musician, was bone tired after appearing at an event.

He pulled up in his car, and the parking attendant began to speak. "I took two bullets for this country and look what I'm doing," he said bitterly.

At first, Bierstock didn't know what to say to the World War II veteran. But he rolled down his window and told the man, "Really, from the bottom of my heart, I want to thank you."

Then the old soldier began to cry. "That really got to me," Bierstock says.

Cut to today. Bierstock, 58, and John Melnick, 54, of Pompano Beach - a member of Bierstock's band, Dr. Sam and the Managed Care Band - have written a song inspired by that old soldier in the airport parking lot. The mournful "Before You Go" does more than salute those who fought inWWII. It encourages people to go out of their way to thank the aging warriors before they die. "If we had lost that particular war, our whole way of life would have been shot," says Bierstock, who plays harmonica. "The WW II soldiers are now dying at the rate of about 2,000 every day. I thought we needed to thank them."

The song is striking a chord. Within four days of Bierstock placing it on the Web, the song and accompanying photo essay have bounced around nine countries, producing tears and heartfelt thanks from veterans, their sons and daughters and grandchildren. "It made me cry," wrote one veteran's son. Another sent an e-mail saying that only after his father consumed several glasses of wine would he discuss "the unspeakable horrors" he and other soldiers had witnessed in places such as Anzio, Iwo Jima, Bataan and Omaha Beach. "I can never thank them enough," the son wrote. "Thank you for thinking about them."

Bierstock and Melnick thought about shipping it off to a professional singer, maybe a Lee Greenwood type, but because time was running out for so many veterans, they decided it was best to release it quickly, for free, on the Web. They've sent the song to Sen. John McCain and others in Washington. Already they have been invited to perform it in Houston for a Veterans Day tribute - this after just a few days on the Web. They hope every veteran in America gets a chance to hear it. GOD BLESS every EVERY veteran... and THANK you to those of you veterans who may receive this!

Click on the link below to hear the song and see the pictures.

Before You Go

You can also access this link by going to my Support Our Troops web page.

~~~

Sadness
Our friend Wendell Howard passed away yesterday. You may remember my post on Tuesday. I was telling you that we had a nice visit and meal with them last Monday evening. We were shocked and very saddened to hear of his death. It's another reminder that our time on earth is short, and could end at any time.

Life and death are balanced on the edge of a razor.
~Homer

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Quotes of the Day

When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money.
~Susan Heller
~~~

The Bad News: The average American will work from January 1 until April 23 this year just to pay his or her Federal, State and Local Taxes.
The Worse News: Some people still don't think we pay enough in taxes!
The Worst News: At least two of them are running for President...

~ Mallard Fillmore on April 15, 2008

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Joke of the Day

Murphy Laws For Air Travelers

1. No flight ever leaves on time unless you are running late and need the delay to make the flight.
2. If you are running late for a flight, it will depart from the farthest gate within the terminal.
3. If you arrive very early for a flight, it inevitably will be delayed.
4. Flights never leave from Gate #1 at any terminal in the world.
5. If you must work on your flight, you will experience turbulence as soon as you touch pen to paper.
6. If you are assigned a middle seat, you can determine who has the seats on the aisle and the window while you are still in the boarding area. Just look for the two largest passengers.
7. Only passengers seated in window seats ever have to get up to go to the lavatory.
8. The crying baby on board your flight is always seated next to you.
9. The best-looking woman on your flight is never seated next to you.
10. The less carry-on luggage space available on an aircraft, the more carry-on luggage passengers will bring aboard.

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