Doctor Appointments

Three in a Morning
I recently had scheduled 3 different doctor appointments in the same morning. It was like this:

• 8:00 am …….  Arthritis doctor
• 9:00 am ….…  Podiatrist
• 10:15 am ……  Urology Doctor

I didn’t know if I could accomplish this without being late for an appointment.

I am happy to report that it worked. I was early for each appointment. I even had time to go to the library between the 2nd and 3rd appointment and check out a couple of books. I was back at home before 11:00 am.

I think this works because the appointments were scheduled early. I would not attempt to fit in 3 appointments in a single afternoon. Would you?

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
I’ve heard this all my life:
”Early to bed, and early to rise,
Makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.”
It is one of Ben Franklin’s quotes.

~~~

Quote of the Day

Don't try to be different.  Just be good.
To be good is different enough.
~Arthur Freed

~~~
Joke of the Day

A Japanese soap manufacturing company received a complaint that a consumer had bought a box of soap that was empty. Management tasked its engineers to solve the problem permanently to avoid any reoccurrence.

The engineers worked hard to devise an X-ray machine with high-resolution monitors manned by two people to watch all the soapboxes that passed through the line to make sure they were not empty. No doubt, they worked hard and they worked fast.

But a rank-and-file employee that was posed the same problem came out with another solution. He bought a strong industrial electric fan and pointed it at the assembly line. He switched the fan on, and as each soapbox passed the fan, it simply blew the empty boxes out of the line.

 

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World Air Traffic

A Good Overview
The following video show all the air traffic around the world in a typical day. Each yellow dot represents an air plane. A day time arrives in the USA you can see the increase in air traffic.

It makes you wonder why there are not more midair collisions. Yet, I heard you are more like to die by going into a hospital than by flying on a plane.

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
We all need more patience.
God has been so patience with us.

~~~

Quote of the Day

You can be sincere and still be stupid.
~Charles F. Kettering

~~~
Joke of the Day

Ladies and Gentlemen, hobos and tramps, cross eyed mosquitoes and bow legged ants, I stand before you yet sit right beside you to tell you a story I know nothing about. Admission is free; so pay at the door pull up a seat sit on the floor. One sunny day in the middle of the night to dead boys got up to fight. Back to back they faced each other drew there swords and shot each other a deaf policeman heard the noise, he went and killed those two dead boys. A blind man saw it all looking threw a knot in a brick wall, while talking to his wife on a disconnected telephone. If you don't believe this lie is true ask the other blind man he saw it too. He lives in a two-story house on a vacant lot.

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Lake Trout Fishing

South Holston Lake
We went back to the lake yesterday and had a good day. It was hot and humid, but that didn’t keep the fish from biting. The pictures below show each of the fishermen holding the same fish.

There are 6 fish on the stringer. The limit on lake trout is 2 per person. Two of the fish weighed over 6 pounds each.

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
Take some time to relax and do something you enjoy.
It would be good for you.
It might help your outlook on life.

~~~

Quote of the Day
Labor gives birth to ideas.
~Jim Rohn

~~~
Joke of the Day

Bubba went to a psychiatrist. "I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy." "Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come talk to me three times a week, and we should be able to get rid of those fears." "How much do you charge?" "Eighty dollars per visit, replied the doctor." "I'll sleep on it," said Bubba.

Six months later the doctor ran into Bubba on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me about those fears you were having?" asked the psychiatrist.

"Well Eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money! A bartender cured me for $10. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new pickup!"

"Is that so!? And how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?"

"He told me to cut the legs off the bed! - ain't nobody under there now!!"

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Are You Over 40?

History Exam
Everyone over 40 should have a pretty easy time.
At this exam. If you are under 40 you can claim a handicap.This is a History Exam for those who don't mind seeing how much they really remember about what went on in their life.

Get paper & pencil & number from 1 to 20.
Write the letter of each answer & score at the end.

1. In the 1940's, where were automobile headlight dimmer switches located?
A. On the floor shift knob.
B. On the floor board, to the left of the clutch.
C. Next to the horn.

2. The bottle top of a Royal Crown Cola bottle had holes in it. For what was it used?
A. Capture lightning bugs..
B. To sprinkle clothes before ironing.
C.. Large salt shaker.

3. Why was having milk delivered a problem in northern winters?
A. Cows got cold and wouldn't produce milk.
B. Ice on highways forced delivery by dog sled.
C. Milkmen left deliveries outside of front doors and milk would freeze, expanding and pushing up the cardboard bottle top.

4. What was the popular chewing gum named for a game of chance?
A. Blackjack
B. Gin
C. Craps

5. What method did women use to look as if they were wearing stockings when none were available due to rationing during WW II?
A. Suntan
B. Leg painting
C. Wearing slacks

6. What postwar car turned automotive design on its ear when you couldn't tell whether it was coming or going?
A. Studebaker
B. Nash Metro
C. Tucker

7. Which was a popular candy when you were a kid?
A. Strips of dried peanut butter.
B. Chocolate licorice bars.
C. Wax coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water inside.

8. How was Butch wax used?
A. To stiffen a flat-top haircut so it stood up.
B. To make floors shiny and prevent scuffing.
C. On the wheels of roller skates to prevent rust.

9. Before inline skates, how did you keep your roller skates attached to your shoes?
A. With clamps, tightened by a skate key.
B. Woven straps that crossed the foot.
C. Long pieces of twine.

10. As a kid, what was considered the best way to reach a decision?
A. Consider all the facts.
B. Ask Mom.
C. Eeny-meeny-miney-MO.

11. What was the most dreaded disease in the 1940's and 1950's?
A. Smallpox
B. AIDS
C. Polio

12. 'I'll be down to get you in a ________, Honey'
A. SUV
B. Taxi
C. Streetcar

13. What was the name of Caroline Kennedy's pony?
A. Old Blue
B. Paint
C. Macaroni

14. What was a Duck-and-Cover Drill?
A. Part of the game of hide and seek.
B. What you did when your Mom called you in to do chores.
C. Hiding under your desk, and covering your head with your arms in an A-bomb drill.

15. What was the name of the Indian Princess on the Howdy Doody show?
A. Princess Summerfallwinterspring
B. Princess Sacajawea
C. Princess Moonshadow

16. What did all the really savvy students do when mimeographed tests were handed out in school?
A. Immediately sniffed the purple ink, as this was believed to get you high.
B. Made paper airplanes to see who could sail theirs out the window.
C. Wrote another pupil's name on the top, to avoid their failure.

17. Why did your Mom shop in stores that gave Green Stamps with purchases?
A. To keep you out of mischief by licking the backs, which tasted like
Bubble gum.
B. They could be put in special books and redeemed for various household items.
C. They were given to the kids to be used as stick-on tattoos.

18. Praise the Lord, & pass the _________?
A. Meatballs
B. Dames
C. Ammunition

19. What was the name of the singing group that made the song 'Cabdriver' a hit?
A. The Ink Spots
B.. The Supremes
C. The Esquires

20. Who left his heart in San Francisco ?
a. Tony Bennett
b. Xavier Cugat
c. George Gershwin
------------------------------------------------------------


ANSWERS
1. (b) On the floor, to the left of the clutch. Hand controls, popular in Europe , took till the late '60'sto catch on.

2. (b) To sprinkle clothes before ironing. Who had a steam iron?

3. (c) Cold weather caused the milk to freeze and expand, popping the bottle top.

4. (a) Blackjack Gum.

5. (b) Special makeup was applied, followed by drawing a seam down the back of the leg with eyebrow pencil.

6. (a) 1946 Studebaker.

7. (c) Wax coke bottles containing super-sweet colored water.

8. (a) Wax for your flat top (butch) haircut.

9. (a) With clamps , tightened by a skate key,which you wore on a shoestring around your neck.

10. (c) Eeny-meeny-miney-mo.

11. (c) Polio. In beginning of August, swimming pools were closed, movies and other public gathering places were closed to try to prevent spread of the disease.

12. (b) Taxi, Better be ready by half-past eight!

13. (c) Macaroni.

14. (c) Hiding under your desk, and covering your head with your arms in an A-bomb drill.

15. (a) Princess Summerfallwinterspring. She was another puppet.

16. (a) Immediately sniffed the purple ink to get a high.

17. (b) Put in a special stamp book, they could be traded for household items at the Green Stamp store.

18. (c) Ammunition, and we'll all be free.

19. (a) The widely famous 50's group: The Ink Spots.

20. (a) Tony Bennett, and he sounds just as good today.

SCORING
17 - 20 correct:
You are older than dirt, and obviously gifted with mental abilities. Now if you could only find your glasses. Definitely someone who should share your wisdom!

12 - 16 correct:
Not quite dirt yet, but you're getting there.

0 - 11 correct:
You are not old enough to share the wisdom of your experiences.

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
I missed 3 of the above 20 questions.
That means I’m older than dirt!

~~~

Quote of the Day

Every survival kit should include a sense of humor.
~Author Unknown

~~~
Joke of the Day

A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.

"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!" He slams the door and returns to bed.

"Who was that?" asked his wife.

"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.

"Did you help him?" she asks.

"No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!"

"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys; helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself! God loves drunk people too."

The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.

He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"

"Yes," comes back the answer.

"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.

"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.

"Where are you?" asks the husband.

"Over here on the swing set," replied the drunk

 

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Another Unusual Friendship

Between a Cat and an Owl
It’s difficult to explain these unusual friendships. Take a look.

I hope you had a worthwhile and restful weekend. Now let’s get’s something accomplished this week. go get’em!

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
Stay cool both physically and mentally.

~~~

Quote of the Day

Humility is to make a right estimate of one's self.
~Charles Haddon Spurgeon

~~~
Joke of the Day

It sure has been hot and dry lately…. HOW DRY IS IT IN OKLAHOMA ?

It's so dry in Oklahoma that the Baptists are starting to baptize by sprinkling, the Methodists are using wet-wipes, the Presbyterians are giving out rain-checks, and the Catholics are praying for the wine to turn back into water.

Now THAT's Dry…
A friend in southwest Oklahoma told me the chicken farmers were giving the chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.

And…

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Unique Hotel Rooms

Small & Cozy
I was looking at some of the smallest hotel rooms in the world recently, and ran across rooms that were made from concrete drain pipes. This is in Germany Take a gander.

People are very innovative, and they think of many unusual ideas. I wonder why FEMA never came up with this idea?

Fishing Yesterday
Doug S and I were on Watauga Lake yesterday. We only caught two Lake Trout, but we had a fun day.

Soon after we got on the lake I noticed this cloud that was below the top of the mountain peak.
Even though we only had 2 fish, they were nice ones. The largest was over 5 lbs. and the other one was over 4 lbs.

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
Take heed. Make haste. For Life is Brief.

~~~

Quote of the Day
Don't try to fix the students, fix ourselves first. The good teacher makes the poor student good and the good student superior. When our students fail, we, as teachers too, have failed.
— Marva Collins

~~~
Joke of the Day

A man finds a shoe shop ticket when he is cleaning out his attic. He notices it is 10 years old, and dimly recalls taking a pair of shoes to be resoled at the shoe shop on Market Street.

Next Monday, he decides to see if the store is still in business.

He finds that it is and decides to go in a present the ticket for his shoes.

After finding a parking space he goes in the shoe repair store and gives the ticket to the cobbler, who silently takes it into the back room.

Finally after hearing some rummaging around, the cobbler returns, and says to the man, 'They'll be ready next Thursday'.

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Do You Like Pranks?

They Make You Laugh
I have to admit that I like jokes and pranks. You probably already know that due to my jokes of the day. I’ve pulled some good ones in my day. I may get up the nerve to tell you about a few of them in the coming days.

I liked those Candid Camera type tricks they used to pull on people. Remember, “Smile, You’re on Candid Camera!”

Here’s a good prank I recently ran across. You can find may more at YouTube.

 

Fishing Watauga Lake Today
I hope to be on Watauga Lake today. Doug and I want to try the Lake Trout on that lake for a change. They have been stocking Watauga Lake for a longer time period than South Holston, so the fish are larger. In fact, the Tennessee state record for Lake Trout was set on Watauga lake a few years are with a monster Lake Trout that weighed over 22 pounds 2 ounces. It was caught by Jack and Mary Forbes. Here’s a picture of the Forbes with their fish.

I’m not sure my dip net is large enough for a fish that size.

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
Do you know what you call the children of couch potatoes? Tator Tots

~~~

Quote of the Day

When a man does not know what harbor he is making for, no wind is the right wind.
~Seneca

~~~
Joke of the Day

Upon seeing an elderly lady for the drafting of her will, the attorney charged her $100.

She gave him a $100 bill, not noticing that stuck to it was a second $100 bill.

Immediately the ethical question arose in the attorney's mind: "Do I tell my partner?"

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Seniors on Social Security

Setting the Record straight
I received the following in an email the other day, and I thought it was worth sharing. Read on:

Alan Simpson, Senator from Wyoming , Co-Chair of Obama's deficit commission, calls senior citizens the Greediest Generation as he compared "Social Security" to a Milk Cow with 310 million teats August, 2010.

Here's a response in a letter from a unknown fellow in Montana .... I think he is a little ticked off! He also tells it like it is!

-----------------------------------

"Hey Alan, let's get a few things straight..
1. As a career politician, you have been on the public dole for FIFTY YEARS.

2. I have been paying Social Security taxes for 48 YEARS (since I was 15 years old. I am now 63).. (Note I said "paying". Social Security is NOT an entitlement as you would have us think. We PAID for that right, unlike you Congressional 'employees'.)

3. My Social Security payments, and those of millions of other Americans, were safely tucked away in an interest bearing account for decades until you political pukes decided to raid the account and give OUR money to a bunch of zero ambition losers in return for votes, thus bankrupting the system and turning Social Security into a Ponzi scheme that would have made Bernie Madoff proud.

4. Recently, just like Lucy & Charlie Brown, you and your ilk pulled the proverbial football away from millions of American seniors nearing retirement and moved the goalposts for full retirement from age 65 to age 67. NOW, you and your shill commission are proposing to move the goalposts YET AGAIN.

5. I, and millions of other Americans, have been paying into Medicare from Day One, and now you morons propose to change the rules of the game. Why? Because you idiots mismanaged other parts of the economy to such an extent that you need to steal money from Medicare to pay the bills.

6. I, and millions of other Americans, have been paying income taxes our entire lives, and now you propose to increase our taxes yet again. Why? Because you incompetent bastards spent our money so profligately that you just kept on spending even after you ran out of money. Now, you come to the American taxpayers and say you need more to pay off YOUR debt.

To add insult to injury, you label us "greedy" for calling out your incompetence. Well, Captain Bull, I have a few questions for YOU.

1. How much money have you earned from the American taxpayers during your pathetic 50-year political career?

2. At what age did you retire from your pathetic political career, and how much are you receiving in annual retirement benefits from the American taxpayers?

3. How much do you pay for YOUR government provided health insurance?

4. What cuts in YOUR retirement and healthcare benefits are you proposing in your disgusting deficit reduction proposal, or, as usual,have you exempted yourself and your political cronies?

It is you, Captain Bull, and your political co-conspirators called Congress who are the "greedy" ones. It is you and your fellow nutcases who have bankrupted America and stolen the American dream from millions of loyal, patriotic taxpayers.

And for what? Votes. That's right, sir. You and yours have bankrupted America for the sole purpose of advancing your pathetic political careers. You know it, we know it, and you know that we know it.
And you can take that to the bank.

A Good Day of Fishing 
We went fishing yesterday. All five of us. That was George, Linda, and Nancy plus Beverly and I. We caught eight nice Lake Trout and one smallmouth bass. I was excited that my Beverly caught her first Lake Trout. 

Yes, we had a nice stringer. I cleaned the fish after we returned home. So now we have an ample supply of fish. So we’re planning a fish fry soon.

~~~
Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
There are three keys to making a good speech: (1) A good introduction. (2)A good ending. And... (3) keeping them close together.

~~~

Quote of the Day
"How's your new job at the factory?"
one guy asked another. "I'm not going back there."
"Why not?" "For many reasons," he answered. "The sloppiness, the shoddy workmanship, the awful language ... they just couldn't put up with it."
— Mell Lazarus

~~~
Joke of the Day

An old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home.

He followed me into the house, down the hall, and fell asleep on the couch. An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out. The next day he was back, resumed his position on the couch and slept for an hour. This continued for several weeks. Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: "Every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap."

The next day he arrived with a different note pinned to his collar: "He lives in a home with four children -- he's trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?"

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Cars Are Safer Today, Mostly

Crash Test
The following video shows the results on a crash test between 1959 Chevy Bel Air and a 2009 Chevy Malibu. The driver of the 1959 auto would have been instantly killed. The drive of the 2009 car would have a slight knee injury.

But… what about the new Smart Cars, as they are called. Look at this first, and I ‘m not sure I would call them a “smart” car.

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
The most appreciated after dinner speech:
I'll pay the check.

~~~

Quote of the Day
Don't complain, don't explain.
— Henry Ford II

~~~
Joke of the Day

HOW DRY IS IT IN OKLAHOMA ?
It's so dry in Oklahoma that the Baptists are starting to baptize by sprinkling, the Methodists are using wet-wipes, the Presbyterians are giving out rain-checks, and the Catholics are praying for the wine to turn back into water.

Now THAT's Dry…

A friend in southwest Oklahoma told me the chicken farmers were giving the chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.

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A Good Lesson

About Blessings
The following video illustrates our how our blessings from God are not easily interpreted. You need to watch this…

This is Monday, and I hope you have a wonderful and fruitful week. Remember to smile, be kind and helpful in all your words, actions and thoughts.

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
Some people don't have a lot to say. Unfortunately you have to listen for quite a while to find that out.

~~~

Quote of the Day
Get your facts first,
then you can distort them as you please.
- Mark Twain

~~~
Joke of the Day

NEW SUPER MARKET With the Sense of Freshness....

A while ago a new supermarket opened in the Midwest.

It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.

When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and you experience the scent of fresh mown hay.

In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal-grilled steaks with onions.

When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.

The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh-baked bread and cookies.

I don't buy toilet paper there anymore.

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I’m An Old Person

A Geezer Maybe?
I never really liked the terminology "Old Person" or “Geezer”, but the following makes me feel better about it. And if you aren’t one, I bet you you know one! I got the following from an "Old Personal friend of mine"!

OLD PERSON PRIDE
I think a lot of my readers may be old persons And, actually, it's not a bad thing to be called, as you will see.

• Old People are easy to spot at sporting events; during the playing of the National Anthem, Old People remove their caps and stand at attention and sing without embarrassment. They know the words and believe in them.
  
• Old People remember World War II, Pearl Harbor, Guadalcanal , Normandy, and Hitler. They remember the Atomic Age, the Korean War, The Cold War, the Jet Age and the Moon Landing. They remember the 50 plus Peacekeeping Missions from 1945 to 2005, not to mention Vietnam ...
  
• If you bump into an Old Person on the sidewalk he/she will apologize. If you pass an Old Person on the street, he will nod or tip his cap to a lady. Old People trust strangers and are courtly to women.
  
• Old People hold the door for the next person and always, when walking, make certain the lady is on the inside for protection.
  
• Old People get embarrassed if someone curses in front of women and children and they don't like any filth or dirty language on TV or in movies.
  
• Old People have moral courage and personal integrity. They seldom brag unless it's about their children or grandchildren.
  
• It's the Old People who know our great country is protected, not by politicians, but by the young men and women in the military serving their country.

This country needs Old People with their work ethic, sense of responsibility, pride in their country and decent values. We need them now more than ever. Thank God for Old People

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
Friendship is like a BOOK.
It takes few seconds to burn,
but it takes years to write.

~~~

I hope you have a nice weekend.
I hope to see you on Monday.

~~~

You got any good jokes,

Send them to me,

I’m running low.

~~~

Quote of the Day
One does evil enough when one does nothing good.
~German Proverb

 

~~~
Joke of the Day

The staff at a local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer.

The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"

The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"

Embarrassed, the United Way representative mumbled, "Um... No."

"Or," the lawyer continued, "that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"

The stricken United Way representative began to stammer out an apology but was interrupted when the lawyer added,

"Or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident?" the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "Leaving her penniless with three children?"

The humiliated United Way representative, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..."

On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"

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Father and Son

A Sparrow
A beautiful short video of the interaction between a father and his son. I sure you’ll be touched by this clip. Really, you don’t want to miss this one!

I learned I need to have more patience when I watched the video. I need to watch myself. Life is too short to not be kind to everyone.

l found this video at NewSeniors.com, a site you might want to check out.

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
I heard that: A blind person asked St. Anthony: "Can there be anything worse than losing eye sight?" He replied: "Yes, losing your vision!"

~~~

I wanted to be on the lake today.

But I had an appointment with a Doctor.

Maybe tomorrow or another day.
You just never know about Granddaddy.

~~~

Quote of the Day

If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange these apples then you and I will still each
have one apple.  But if you have an idea and
I have an idea and we exchange these ideas,
then each of us will have two ideas.
~George Bernard Shaw

~~~
Joke of the Day

A lawyer was on vacation in a small farming town. While walking through the streets on a quiet Sunday morning, he came upon a large crowd gathered by the side of the road.

Going by instinct, the lawyer figured that there was some sort of auto collision. He was eager to get to the injured parties but couldn't get near the car.

Being a clever sort, he started shouting loudly, "Let me through! Let me through! I am the son of the victim."

The crowd made way for him. Lying in front of the car was a donkey.

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A 3D Printer

Wow!
My fishing friend Doug sent me a link to the following video that shows the replication of a working Crescent wrench by a printer. It’s pretty amazing, and may give us a hint of the future.

At the end of the video the wrench is actually used to tighten up nut.

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
When GOD solves your problems, you have faith in HIS abilities; when GOD doesn't solve your problems HE has faith in your abilities.

 

Watch out today!!!
Friday the 13th Came on Wednesday,
And that’s Today!!!

 

~~~

Quote of the Day

It is not titles that honor men, but men that honor titles.
~Niccolo Machiavelli

~~~
Joke of the Day

A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble.

In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and bailed out.

Unfortunately, there were only three parachutes remaining.

The doctor grabbed one and said "I'm a doctor, I save lives, so I must live," and jumped out.

The lawyer then said, "I'm a lawyer and lawyers are the smartest people in the world. I deserve to live."
He also grabbed a parachute and jumped.

The priest looked at the little boy and said, "My son, I've lived a long and full life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Take the last parachute and live in peace."

The little boy handed the parachute back to the priest and said, "Not to worry. The 'smartest man in the world' just jumped out of the plane with my back pack."

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Trump Sums It Up

A Good Summary
”Let me get this straight . . . ...

• We're going to be "gifted" with a health care plan we are forced to purchase and fined if we don't,
• which purportedly covers at least ten million more people, without adding a single new doctor,
• but provides for 16,000 new IRS agents,
• written by a committee whose chairman says he doesn't understand it,
• passed by a Congress that didn't read it but exempted themselves from it,
• signed by a President who smokes,
• with funding administered by a treasury chief who didn't pay his taxes,
• for which we'll be taxed for four years before any benefits take effect,
• by a government which has already bankrupted Social Security and Medicare,
• all to be overseen by a surgeon general who is obese,
• and financed by a country that's broke!

'What could possibly go wrong?'

I received the above which is credited to Donald Trump. Maybe he said, may he didn’t… Either way it make a good quote. You better buy your hand baskets while they are on sale.

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Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
So a Car's WINDSHIELD is so large & the Rear view Mirror is so small?

Because our PAST is not as important as our FUTURE. So, Look Ahead and Move on.

 

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Quote of the Day

We have met the enemy and they are us!
~Walt Kelly (Pogo)

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Joke of the Day

David received a parrot for his birthday. The parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an obscenity. Those that weren't expletives, were to say the least, rude. David tried hard to change the bird's attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything he could think of. Nothing worked. He yelled at the bird and the bird yelled back. He shocked the bird and the bird just got more angry and more rude.

Finally, in a moment of desperation, David put the bird in the freezer, just for a few moments. He heard the bird squawk and kick and scream-then suddenly, there was quiet.

David was frightened that he might have hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door. The parrot calmly stepped out and said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'll endeavor at once to correct my behavior. I really am truly sorry and beg your forgiveness."

David was astonished at the bird's change in attitude and was about to ask what had made such a dramatic change when the parrot continued, "May I ask what did the chicken do?"

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Lake Trout Fishing

Should I be a Fishing Guide?
No, probably not. But we had a another great day of fishing for Lake Trout on South Holston Reservoir in upper east Tennessee.

Doug and I introduced two young ladies to the adventure of fishing for Lake Trout. Their names are Pamela and Carol, and they are very good anglers. Pamela is a good friend of my Dad, and I had been promising her a fishing trip for a couple of years. Carol is her friend. They both are from Dayton, TN. (Pamela is holding a nice sized Lake Trout in the picture to the left.)

We had a good catch and that meant our limit in Lake Trout (8) and the total stringer weight was over 35 pounds, and the largest was over 7 pounds. (Carol is holing another nice Lake Trout in the picture below.)

We left the lake around 1:00 PM. However, the fishing started off pretty slow, and I was getting a little worried around 10:45 AM. At that time we only had 2 fish in the cooler. Put our patience paid off. In the last hour and a half the fishing was fast and furious.

The picture below shows all the fishers and the catch of the day. All the fish were caught trolling at about 1.8 MPH using Deeper Divers on 50 lb. test braided line, with 17 lb. mono leaders with spoons of various sizes and colors. Most of the fish were caught at depths of 60-80 feet deep.

 

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Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
Some people use prayer is not a "spare tire" that you pull out when in trouble, but it is a "steering wheel" that directs the right path throughout.

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Quote of the Day
I'm in a hurry to get things done
Oh I rush and rush until life's no fun
All I've really gotta do is live and die
But I'm in a hurry and don't know why....
~Roger Murrah and Randy VanWarmer

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Joke of the Day

A man who had spent his whole life in the desert visited a friend. He'd never seen a train or the tracks they run on. While standing in the middle of the RR tracks, he heard the whistle on a steam locomotive, but didn't know what it was.

Predictably, he's hit and is thrown by the cow-catcher and bounced to the side of the tracks, with some minor internal injuries, a few broken bones, and some bruises.

After weeks in the hospital recovering, he's at his friend's house attending a party. While in the kitchen, he suddenly hears the teakettle whistling.

He grabs a baseball bat from the nearby closet and proceeds to batter and bash the teakettle into an unrecognizable lump of metal. His friend, hearing the ruckus, rushes into the kitchen, sees what's happened and asks the desert man, "Why'd you ruin my good tea kettle?"

The desert man replies, "Man, you gotta kill these things when they're small."

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