A good friend sent me some information about Southerners. Now I am one, so I could agree with the following. If you’re from the north you can read on and you will learn something about us southerners.
- Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
- Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
- Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
- Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, as in: "Going to town, be back directly."
- Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular, sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
- All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
- Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin'!
- Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that"just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
- Only a Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
- No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
- Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when we're "in line,"... we talk to everybody!
- In the South, “y'all” is singular, “all y'all” is plural.
- Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
- Every Southerner knows that tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; that scrambled eggs just ain’t right without Tabasco , and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
- When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
- Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
- And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her sweet little heart"... and go your own way.
- Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fah-evah !
There ain't no magazine named "Northern Living" for good reason. There ain't nobody interested in livin' up north, nobody would buy the magazine!
If you're a Northern transplant down south, bless your little heart. We know you got here as fast as you could.
What is a "free" gift?
Aren't all gifts free?
The easiest way to keep a secret is without help.
Joke of the Day
His daughter walked into the living room and said "Dad, cancel my allowance immediately, forget the College tuition, rent my room out, throw all my clothes out of the window; take my TV, iPhone, iPod, and my laptop. Please take any of my jewelry to the Salvation Army or Cash Converters. Then sell my car, take my front door key away from me and throw me out of the house. Then disown me and never talk to me again. And don't forget to write me out of your will and leave my share to anybody that wants it."
Well, she didn't put it quite like that.. she actually said... "Dad, meet my new boyfriend - Mohammed. We're going to work together on President Obama's reelection campaign."