Highlining & Slacklining

Slacklining
I recently learned about this new sport the other day through Kim Komando. It's not well known. Slackliners use a nylon rope tied between two objects. Then they walk it like a tight rope. Normally the rope is a few feet off the ground, and it is done to develop focus and balance.

It seems that some of the slackliners have taken the line to extreme heights, called highlining. One example is in this YouTube video which shows Dean Potter highlining to the Lost Arrow Spire in Yosemite National Park. He is 2,900 feet in the air with no safety equipment.

Not me. I'm too old for that. And it makes you wonder why some people like to stare death in the face?

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THE SENILITY PRAYER

Grant me the senility to forget the people
I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and
the eyesight to tell the difference.

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Quote of the Day

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President;
I'm beginning to believe it.
~Clarence Darrow

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Joke of the Day

A group of Alabama hunters & friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day.

That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck. "Where's Henry?" the others asked.

"Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied.

"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired.

"A tough call," said the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to steal Henry!"

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The Banana Test

I'm hoping you'll do much better than me on this test....

The Banana Test
There is a very, very tall coconut tree and there are 4 animals,

1. a Lion,
2. a Chimpanzee,
3. a Giraffe, and
4. a Squirrel,

who pass by. They decide to compete to see who is the fastest to get a banana off the tree. Who do you guess will win? Your answer will reflect your personality. So think carefully . . .. Try and answer within 30 seconds



If your answer is:

Lion = you're dull.
Chimpanzee = you're a moron.
Giraffe = you're a complete idiot.
Squirrel = you're just hopelessly stupid.

A COCONUT TREE DOESN'T HAVE BANANAS. Obviously you're stressed and overworked. You should take some time off and relax! Try again next year.

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There is always, always, always something to be thankful for.

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Quote of the Day

Judgments prevent us from seeing the good that lies beyond appearances.
~Wayne W. Dyer

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Joke of the Day

Deep in the Tennessee hills, a farmer's mule kicked his mother-in-law to death. An enormous crowd of men turned out for the funeral. The minister, examining the crowd outside the church, commented to a farmer friend, "This old lady must have been mighty popular. Just look how many people left their work to come to her funeral."

"They're not here for the funeral," snickered the friend. "They're here to buy the mule."

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A Senior Moment

Did you hear about....

This is a true account as recorded in the Police Log of Sarasota, Florida... An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her voice, "I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car!"

The four men didn't wait for a second invitation. They got out and ran like mad.

The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver's seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why...

For the same reason she did not understand why there was a football, a Frisbee and two 12 packs of beer in the front seat! A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down.

She loaded her bags into her own car and drove to the police station to report her mistake. The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn't stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun. No charges were filed.

If you're going to have a Senior Moment, make it a memorable one!

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Good to Remember:
A closed mouth gathers no foot.

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Quote of the Day

You may delay, but time will not.
~Benjamin Franklin

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Joke of the Day

"Is your mother home?" the salesman asked a small boy sitting on the steps in front of a house.

"Yeah, she's home," the boy said, scooting over to let him past.

The salesman rang the doorbell, got no response, knocked once, then again. Still no one came to the door. Turning to the boy, the fellow said, "I thought you said your mother was home."

The kid replied, "She is; but this isn't where I live.

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Nine Words that Women Use

Men need to understand the true meaning to words that women use. Well, I received this list the other day, and think it would have helped me if I had learned it at least 50 years ago. Anyway, it's too late to help me, but some of you young me can benefit from what the older generation have learned about women.

1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
   
   
2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
   
   
3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
   
   
4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
   
   
5. Loud Sigh: This is actually not a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)
   
   
6. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
   
   
7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.
   
   
8. Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying drop dead.
   
   
9. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later r result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to #3.

OK, girls. I know I've got it coming. So go ahead and send me that list for understanding men.

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Quote of the Day

Few rich men own their property; the property owns them.
~Robert Ingersoll

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Joke of the Day

A man had 50 yard line tickets for the Super Bowl. As he sits down, a man comes down and asked the man if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him "No", he said, "the seat is empty".

"This is incredible", said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Super Bowl , the biggest sport event in the world, and not use it ?"

Somberly, the man says, "Well... the seat actually belongs to me. I was supposed to come here with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we have not been together since we got married in 1967."

"Oh I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else - a friend or relative or even a neighbor to take the seat?"

The man shakes his head , "No. They're all at the funeral."

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No Fishing

I Stay Away On July Fourth
I never go fishing or go to the lake on the Fourth of July. There's generally too many people on the lake, and it's better just to stay away. It's too dangerous.

There's a lot of unqualified boaters on the water any day of the year, and my theory is that it is even worse of the Fourth of July weekend.

I don't want to get involved with people who have boating accidents. Just look at these pictures:

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So Beverly and I had a quiet, uneventful day a home on the Fourth of July. Oh, I did check out those new Deeper Divers that came in the mail from Bass Pro Shops on Thursday.

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Life isn't about waiting for the storms to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.

Remember...Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car!!!!!

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Quote of the Day
All promise outruns performance.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Joke of the Day

Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business.

When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he need a wife with whom to share his fortunes.

One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I may look like an ordinary man," he told her, "but in just a few years, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."

Impressed, the woman obtained his business card, and three days later, she became his stepmother.

Women are so much better at estate planning than men.

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Fourth of July

Some links about the 4th of July... our Independence Day.

1. Happy Birthday America!
2. Celebrating Independence Day
3. Wikipedia's Information
4. Historical Links
5. Support Our Troops
   

Don't celebrate the Fourth with a fifth.

Be careful and stay safe.

Be thankful and pray always.

Watch the flag and hear the Star Spangled Banner....

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Quotes of the Day

''What have Americans to be thankful for? More than any other people on the earth, we enjoy complete religious freedom, political freedom, social freedom. Our liberties are sacredly safeguarded by the Constitution of the United States, 'the most wonderful work ever struck off at a given time by the brain and purpose of man.' Yes, we Americans of today have been bequeathed a noble heritage. Let us pray that we may hand it down unsullied to our children and theirs.''
~ B.C. Forbes in 1953

This nation will remain the land of the free
only so long as it is the home of the brave.
~Elmer Davis


The American Revolution was a beginning, not a consummation.
~Woodrow Wilson


Liberty is always dangerous, but it is the safest thing we have.
~Harry Emerson Fosdick


Let freedom never perish in your hands.
~Joseph Addison

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Joke of the Day

Al and Joe are bungee-jumping one day. Al says to Joe, "You know,we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico. They don't have it there." Joe thinks this is a great idea, so they pool their money and buy everything they'll need; a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc. They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work. When they had finished,there was such a crowd they thought it would be a good idea to give a demonstration.

So Al jumps. He bounces at the end of the cord, but when he comes back up Joe notices that he has a few cuts and scratches. Unfortunately, Joe isn't able to catch him, and he falls again, bounces and comes back up again. This time, he is bruised and bleeding. Again Joe misses him. Al falls again and bounces back up. This time he comes back pretty messed up, he's got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious. Luckily, Joe finally catches him this time and says, "What happened? Was the cord too long?"

Barely able to speak, Al gasps, "No, the bungee cord was fine. It was the crowd, What in the world is a piñata?"

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Jackie Chan

Stunts
I ran across this video a while back, and thought I would share with you. It's about a Chinese actor who is also an action choreographer, film director, producer, martial artist, comedian, screenwriter, singer and a stunt performer. His stunts are quite amazing. Enjoy...





Little Johnny
Little Johnny's at it again.... A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!' After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?' 'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!'

Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. 'Yes,' said the policeman. The detectives want very badly to capture him.' Little Johnny asked, 'Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?'

~ Thanks to Cousin Don for the Little Johnny stuff.

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Quote of the Day

The purpose of life is a life of purpose.
~Robert Byrne

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Joke of the Day

Why Parents Have Gray Hair

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed nicely made up and everything neat and tidy.

Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Dad, It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and Mom. I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice. I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes and because she is so much older than I am but it's not only the passion, Dad, she's pregnant. Joan says that we are going to be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood, enough for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Joan has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it! Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren. Your son, Chad

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my desk drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home!

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