Under the Bell

I Wish I Could Ring the Bell
With one of our backyard squirrels setting under the bell, it would be fun to ring the bell and watch him fly. He’s sitting there and trying to decide which bird feeder to attack next.

All is going good in our town of Kingsport, Tennessee. Not much happening, but it’s about time for me to get buy putting new line on my fishing reels, and organizing my tackle boxes. I’m really looking forward to getting out on the water and doing some fishing!

 

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
Be sure a read my joke of the day. It’s all about some Red Skelton stories. That was the good old days of good clean humor. You didn’t need to use four letter words. This was the good olds days when the humor was clean, simple and funny!

~~~

Quote of the Day

Give thanks for what you are now, and
keep fighting for what you want to be tomorrow.
~Fernanda Miramontes-Landeros

~~~
Joke of the Day

RED SKELTON'S RECIPE  FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE

1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a Little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
   
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.
   
3. I take my wife everywhere..... But she keeps finding her way back.
   
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our Anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!"  She said. So I suggested the kitchen.
   
5. We always hold hands.  If I let go, she shops.
   
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric Bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets and no place To sit down!" .. So I bought her an electric chair.
   
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because There was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was; she told me "In the lake."
   
8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
   
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late For the garbage?" . The driver said "No, jump in!"
   
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
    
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her First name was Always.
    
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
    
13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked "What's on the TV?" I said "Dust!"

Add your thoughts & ideas to this blog by clicking on the "comments" below

Airplane Filling Station

Ready for Take Off
I’ve written about this before. But now I have my own pictures to show you. Last Saturday we were on Clinton Highway north of Knoxville at Powell, Tennessee and I stopped to get a close up view of the airplane service station.

I remember it well from the time I was a small boy. Every time we were on that highway, I was jumping up and down in the back seat just waiting for the opportunity to see the airplane gas station. In those days it was a full service gas station. You would pull under the wing and the attendant would fill up your gas tank, check your oil and clean your windows.

 

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:

I remember that old airplane filling station from the days of my youth. It’s fun to find things that still exist 50-60 years later in our life. So many things are gone or have just changed so much you don’t recognize them.

Grandmother and Granddad’s home is now torn down. But I still remember the days we had family meals on Sundays, and setting in the yard or on the porch just watching the cars go by.

Babe Maloy’s drive in restaurant is also gone.

I remember those cheeseburgers and cherry cokes, and setting there with Gerald, my best friend, and dreaming about our futures.

This may be gone or physically destroyed, but in our minds they still exist. I’m grateful for that.

~~~

Quote of the Day

Winter either bites with its teeth
or lashes with its tail. 
~Proverb

~~~
Joke of the Day

A cowboy, who just moved to Wyoming from Texas, walks into a bar and orders  three mugs of Bud. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time."

The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Arizona and the other is in Colorado . When we all left our home in Texas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself."

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.

The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn. One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss." The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs. "Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains, "It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking."

"Hasn't affected my brothers though."

Add your thoughts & ideas to this blog by clicking on the "comments" below

Guns and More

Do Guns Kill People?
I’m a firm believer that guns don’t kill people, it’s people that kill people. Here’s a cartoon that depicts this:

Funny Numbers
As I mentioned a few days ago this year has four "interesting" dates 1/1/11, 1/11/11, 11/1/11 & 11/11/11. Recently someone showed me this:

Take the last 2 digits of the YEAR of your birth, add the age you will turn this year and it will equal 111...... try it. It works, but only if you are born before 2000.

Sounds like magic? No, it’s just a mathematical fact. Next year the sum will be 112. The year after 113. (It’s just taking your age and adding to your birth year. Birth Year + Age = Current Year, but since only the last two digits of the birth year are used, it yields 111 instead of 2011.) Next year we’ll all be a year older so the formula will give 112 for 2012.

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
It seems that we want to blame others when things don’t go as planned. A headline read, “SUV hits car and kills driver”… huh? Did the SUV do this, or the driver of the SUV? What’s wrong with individuals accepting personal responsibility?

~~~

Quote of the Day

Every man dies.  Not every man really lives.  ~Braveheart

~~~
Joke of the Day

What is the difference between ignorance, apathy, and ambivalence?

Answer: I don’t know and I don’t care one way or the other.

Add your thoughts & ideas to this blog by clicking on the "comments" below

Laugh At This!

Why Does Bill Dance Even Try to Fish?
If will make you wonder when you watch this video of some of his fishing bloopers. You can’t help but laugh…

Jack Said
My dear fishing buddy, Jack Beverly, who passed away a few years ago told me a funny story. He took his wife fishing. Everything seemed to go wrong. The lines got tangled, the lures got hung, etc. He was fuming and fussing all day. He got so mad he was slamming things around, and continued complaining about things. The fish would not even bite.

Finally, his wife Joyce, said to him, “Jack, this is awful. Why do you even go fishing?”

Jack, still working on a tangle line, replied, “Because I enjoy it so much!”

 

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
There is something about fishing that produces a peacefulness of the mind. Maybe not everyday, because you can have some bad experiences that can ruin a day of fishing. For example, breaking a $100 fishing rod by slamming a car door on it can do harm to your peacefulness of mind.

My approach is to go fishing for the adventure and for the enjoyment of nature. If you catch fish, then that’s a bonus. I never feel cheated if I come home empty handed, if I’ve felt the wind in my face, the rocking of the waves, and the warmth of sunshine on my back.

~~~

Quote of the Day

The cure for boredom is curiosity. 
There is no cure for curiosity. 

~Dorothy Parker

~~~
Joke of the Day

Mr. Johnson was overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.

He said; “I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least five pounds.”

When Mr. Johnson returned, he shocked the doctor by having dropped almost twenty pounds.

“Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor told him. “You did this just by following my instructions?”

The slimmed down Mr. Johnson nodded. “I’ll tell you, though, I though I was going to drop dead that third day.”

“From hunger, you mean.”

“No,” replied Mr. Johnson, “from skipping.”

Add your thoughts & ideas to this blog by clicking on the "comments" below

Cell Phone? Or Gun?

Mobile Phone Guns Have Arrived. 
And they are real. Something else for us to worry about.

Beneath the digital phone face is a .22 caliber handgun capable of firing four rounds in rapid succession using the standard telephone keypad. European law enforcement officials are stunned by the discovery of these deadly decoys. They say phone guns are changing the rules of engagement in Europe.

Only when you have one in your hand do you realize that they are heavier than a regular cell phone.

Here’s a diagram showing how the gun/phone is designed.


Be patient if security asks to look at your cell phone or turn it on to show that it works . They have a good reason!

Doctor’s Report
The good Doctor Strang gave me an excellent report on my new knee. The x-rays were excellent, and showed exactly what he wanted to see. He wants me to continue outpatient rehab for a couple more weeks to continue to build up strength and stamina in the new knee. I was tickled pink!

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
I’m thinking about Spring and doing some fishing.
It good to have something to anticipate.
It’s kind of like having hope. To hope is to have a desire, and a feeling that that desire will be fulfilled.

We have many earthly hopes.
What is your spiritual hope?

Remember I Corinthians 13:13
”How abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.”

 

~~~

Quote of the Day

If the body be feeble, the mind will not be strong. 
~Thomas Jefferson

~~~
Joke of the Day

Q. What did the digital clock say to the analog clock?
A. Look, No hands!

Q: What do you call a line of rabbits walking backwards?
A: A receding hairline!

Q: What do you do when a redneck throws a hand grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.

Add your thoughts & ideas to this blog by clicking on the "comments" below

Knee Surgery

Doctor Appointment Today
I had total knee replace surgery on my left hind leg on November 30, 2010. So it has been 7 weeks yesterday since the good Dr. Strang operated on my knee. Today is my first appointment with him since the surgery.

However, I have had extensive therapy at home and at the Wellmont Outpatient center here in Kingsport. I am encouraged by my progress and hope the doctor will feel the same. I’m walking without a cane, and able to ride the exercise bike.

I am not sure exactly what will happened today, but I expect some x-rays and measurements on my range of motion in my knee.

Now I need to get my right need done. I wonder if the doctor will have any recommendations about when I should do my other knee. Right now I’m planning to wait until October or November of this year.

Knots
Do you need to be better at typing knots? If so, here’s a good website that shows the most popular and useful knots and illustrates how to tie them. Just click on the picture below:

 

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
Tip for household repairs:
If it moves and it should not move,
use Duct Tape.
If it does not move, and it should move,
use WD-40.

~~~

Quote of the Day
May your pockets be heavy and your heart be light,
May good luck pursue you each morning and night.
~Irish Blessing

~~~
Joke of the Day

A couple is dressed and ready to go out for the evening. They phone for a cab, turn on a night light, cover their pet parakeet and put the cat out in the back yard.

The taxi arrives, and they open the front door to leave. Suddenly the cat they put out scoots back into the house. They don't want the cat shut in there because she always tries to eat the bird. The wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes back in. The cat runs upstairs, with the man in hot pursuit.

The wife doesn't want the driver to know the house will be empty. She explains to the taxi driver that her husband will be out soon. "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."

A few minutes later the husband gets into the cab.

"Sorry I took so long," he says, as they drive away. "Stupid hag was hiding under the bed. Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked. I hauled her downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!

The cab driver hit a parked car.

Add your thoughts & ideas to this blog by clicking on the "comments" below

2011

Interesting Dates This Year
The first interesting date was 1-1-11, that was followed by 1-11-11. Now were waiting for November when we will have two dates of One’s: 11-1-11 and the best of all will be 11-11-11.

The Three Legged Stool
The stools for milking cows were 3 legged. There has to be a reason. I think it is because a three legged stool will balance on an uneven terrain. Say you are milking a cow and the barn floor is uneven, then a four legged stool would wobble, but a three legged stool will always be steady… it may not be level, but it will be steady.

This unique feature of three legged stools has made them an example for many things that require three basic features to function properly. I’ve heard of the three-legged stool of retirement, three foundations of marketing, etc. So you may see the three-legged approach be used for many different situations, and all because the 3-legged stool is always steady and will not wobble. It was also very useful when milking a cow.

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
It is important to have the proper balance in your life. It is good to recognize the things that are important to you, and then to make sure you have the right priorities set. This may cause you adjust the time you allocate to what is important to you.

Some items to consider may include: Your spiritual life, your family, your job, your hobbies, your continuing education, your household responsibilities, etc.

~~~

Quote of the Day

Some things have to be believed to be seen.
~Ralph Hodgson

~~~
Joke of the Day

The Italian Man of His House. With his Italian wife!

Tony had just finished reading a new book entitled, 'You Can Be The Man of Your House.'

He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, 'From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert. After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you will massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me
and comb my hair?'

His Sicilian wife Gina replied, 'The funeral director would be my first guess.'

Add your thoughts & ideas to this blog by clicking on the "comments" below