Vocabulary Lesson

Our Granddaughter, Kara
During the Saturday basketball game, Kara broke her little finger. This probably ends her playing days for this year.

In the game when she broke her finger, her team won in double overtime. It was a very exciting ball game. We learned after the game that Kara played most of the last overtime with a broken finger.

New Words
Some new words have been “invented” that we can better use to help describe happening in our life.

AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the  ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.

CARPERPETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.

DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow `remove' all the germs.

ELBONICS (el bon' iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a auditorium.

FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.

PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.

PUPKUS (pup' kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.

TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.

 

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:

Our life is better when our words are few and kind.
And it’s better for those around us too.

~~~

Quote of the Day

Common sense is instinct. 
Enough of it is genius. 
~George Bernard Shaw

~~~
Joke of the Day

The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and has each of them try to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten raccoon. The raccoon is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

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Signs

Signs Across America
A good sign gives information, assistance, or direction. Take a look at these signs, and it makes you wonder what was the purpose.

 

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Tennessee Granddaddy Says:

The best thing we can do in the morning, is to put a big smile on our face. That would help our looks more than anything else.

~~~

Quote of the Day

Unemployment is capitalism's way of
getting you to plant a garden. 
~Orson Scott Card

~~~
Joke of the Day

A car was driving down the street when all of a sudden it started swerving. The car was going back and forth till someone with a cell phone called the police.

A police officer pulled the car over. A blonde rolls down the window and says, " Officer, I'm so glad you are here. I saw a tree in the road, then I saw another. So I had to swerve to keep from hitting it!"

The officer looks at her, points at her rear view mirror, then says, "Ma'am, that's your air freshener."

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Remember Confucius?

The other day a ran across some old Confucius jokes. Remember, Confucius Says…

Well, there really was a Confucius. You can read about him in Wikipedia. He is said to be a thinker and philosopher whose teaching deeply influenced Oriental life. I am sure he is NOT responsible for the following “wisdom”. but there is some wisdom in some of these along with a smile or maybe a chuckle.

Enjoy… Confucius Says:

• War does not determine who's right. War determine who's left.
• Man who sleeps on road, wakes up feeling run down.
• Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes soon burn out."
• A bird in hand makes hard to blow nose.
• When called an idiot sometimes is better to be quiet, than open mouth and remove all doubt.
  
• Marriage is like game of poker. You start with pair and end with full house.
• He who thinks only of number one must remember this number is next to nothing
• Man who cut self while shaving, lose face.
• People who make Confucius joke speak bad English.
• Man who fall in vat of molten glass make spectacle of self.
  
• Honeymoon over when man who whispered sweet nothings before now say nothing sweet.
• Man who jumps through screen door likely to strain himself.
• Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.
• Man who leap off cliff jump to conclusion.
• Man who love and loses, have not right lawyer.
  
• Man who run in front of car get tired.
• Man who run behind car get exhausted.
• Woman who puts detergent on top shelf, jump for Joy...
• Man with one chopstick go hungry.
• Man who put head on railroad track get splitting headache.
  
• Two wrongs not make right, but two rights make
  U-turn
• Man who crosses ocean twice without washing, is a dirty double crosser.
• He who have last laugh, not get joke.
• Man who throw away watch, wasting time.
• Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like bananas.
  
• He who eats crackers in bed get crummy sleep. 
• He who put face in fruit drink get punch in the nose.
• Butcher who backs into meat grinder get a little behind in his orders.
• Chemist who fall in acid, absorbed in work.  
• Man trapped in pantry have himself in jam.
  
• Man who shoot off mouth, expect to lose face.
• Man with big mouth, beware of foot.
• Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants!
• Man who sit on tack get point!
• Man who sink into woman's arms will soon find arms in woman's sink.

 

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:

We’re on a journey, each of us.
Do you know where you are headed?

~~~

Quote of the Day

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad. 
~Arnold H. Glasgow

~~~
Joke of the Day

A truck driver was heading down the highway when he saw a priest at the side of the road. Feeling it was his duty, he stopped to give the priest a ride.

A short time later, he saw a lawyer with a briefcase on the side of the road and aimed his truck at him. At the last second, he thought of the priest with him and realized he couldn't run over the lawyer, so he swerved, but he heard a thump anyway.

Looking back as he drove on, he didn't see anything. He began to apologize for his behavior to the priest. "I'm sorry, Father. I barely missed that lawyer at the side of the road."

But the priest said, "Don't worry, son. I got him with my door."

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Happy Birthday, Mary!

Today is my sister’s birthday!

Happy Birthday, Mary!

My sister writes some beautiful poetry. I’ll share one of her poems today in her honor.

All I Saw Was You

Married sixty years ago,
Before the fire they sat.
She took his hand and gently said,
"We've had a good life, Matt.
Remember how, the day we met,
The sky was, oh, so blue?"
"No, my dear, I really don't,
For all I saw was you."

"Remember our first date, my love?
I wore a brand new hat,
The wind came up and blew it off,
Don't you remember that?"
"I'm sure your hat was lovely dear,
With flowers of every hue,
But I wasn't thinking of your hat,
For all I saw was you."

"What about our wedding day?
All our friends were there,
We had the clothes we'd dreamed about,
We made a handsome pair!"
"Of course, of course, my dear,
But I don't recall my suit,
I know a lot was going on,
But all I saw was you."

She snuggled closer to him,
On his shoulder laid her head,
He gently kissed her wrinkled cheek,
And as he wept he said,
"We've been together sixty years,
A couple loving, true
And every day I thank the Lord,
That all I saw was you."

by Mary L. White

~~~

Something funny to make you smile…

• A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand
• A Clean House Is A Sign of A Misspent Life
• A Husband Is Someone Who Takes Out the Trash And Gives The Impression He Just Cleaned The Whole House
• A Messy Kitchen Is A Happy Kitchen... And This Kitchen Is Delirious
• Help keep the kitchen clean - Eat OUT
• Housework Done Properly Can Kill You
• If we are what we eat, then I'm easy, fast and cheap.
• My next house will have no kitchen --- just vending machines.
• No Husband Has Ever Been Shot While Doing The Dishes
• Thou shall not weigh more than thy refrigerator

 

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Tennessee Granddaddy Says:

To ignore truth and facts,
does not change the truth.

~~~

Quote of the Day

If you don't know where you are going,
you will probably end up somewhere else. 
~Lawrence J. Peter

~~~
Joke of the Day

Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert.

Congress said,"Someone may steal from it at night." So they created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job.

Then Congress said,"How does the watchman do his job without instruction?" So they created a planning department and hired two people, one person to write the instructions, and one person to do time studies.

Then Congress said,"How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?" So they created a Quality Control department and hired two people. One to do the studies and one to write the reports.

Then Congress said,"How are these people going to get paid?" So they created the following positions, a time keeper, and a payroll officer, then hired two people.

Then Congress said,"Who will be accountable for all of these people?" So they created an administrative section and hired three people, an Administrative Officer, Assistant Administrative Officer, and a Legal Secretary.

Then Congress said,"We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $18,000 over budget, we must cutback overall cost." So they laid off the night watchman.

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The Tunnel of Love

Bizarro
When I first saw this following Bizarro cartoon, I thought it was funny! In fact, I cut it out of the paper and put it on the fridge. And true it is…

When going into the tunnel it’s just the two of you. Ah, love and not a worry in the world. But the end result is much responsibility including children, a home, a car, etc.

But you know, I would not change a single thing about my marriage to Beverly.

The union between man and woman… It’s the most wonderful thing in the world.

 Click here for more info about Bizarro Comics.

 

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
They say if you want something to get done,
ask someone who’s busy.

~~~

Quote of the Day

Forgiveness does not change the past,
but it does enlarge the future. 
~Paul Boese

~~~
Joke of the Day

A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet.

"I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds."

When the blonde returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds.

"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor says. "Did you follow my instructions?"

The blonde nods. "I'll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day." "From hunger, you mean?" said the doctor.

"No, from skipping," replied the blonde.

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Dust If You Must

Here’s a cute poem that Beverly’s brother, Raymond, sent to her the other day in her birthday card.

Dust If You Must

Dust if you must,
but wouldn't it be better
To paint a picture,
or write a letter,
Bake a cake,
or plant a seed;
Ponder the difference between want and need?

Dust if you must, but there's not much time,
With rivers to swim, and mountains to climb;
Music to hear, and books to read;
Friends to cherish, and life to lead.

Dust if you must, but the world's out there
With the sun in your eyes, and the wind in your hair;
A flutter of snow, a shower of rain,
This day will not come around again.

Dust if you must, but bear in mind,
Old age will come and it's not kind.
And when you go (and go you must)
You, yourself, will make more dust.

~ Author Unknown

Beverly’s Status
It’s was all good news yesterday when I took Beverly back to her ENT doctor. She has to continue a sinus rinse for the next two weeks, but all the limitations on her physical activity have been eliminated. We were glad and thankful for the good report.

Beverly received some beautiful cut flowers for her birthday from Sylvia, Mandy and Alex. Here’s a picture I took yesterday of Beverly holding the flowers.

 

 

 

 

 

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Tennessee Granddaddy Says:

You cannot take it with you is true enough, especially when you don't have it in the first place.

~~~

Quote of the Day

In the truest sense, freedom cannot be bestowed;
it must be achieved. 
~Franklin D. Roosevelt

~~~
Joke of the Day

A motorist had a flat tire in front of an insane asylum. He took the wheel off, but when he stood up he tipped over the hubcap containing the bolts, spilling them all down a sewer drain.

A patient, looking through the fence, suggested that the man take one bolt from
the remaining three wheels to hold the fourth wheel in place until he could get to a service station.

The motorist thanked him profusely and said, "I don't know why you are in that place."

The patient said, "I'm in here for being crazy, not for being stupid."

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Zachary’s Basketball Game

Last Saturday
We got to enjoy our Grandchildren’s basketball games last Saturday. We were really surprised at Zachary’s game… he scored 4 baskets (8 points). This was his 4th ball game this year. In the first game, he scored 2 points. In the second game he scored 4 points, and in his third game he scored 6 points. We had all been asking him if he was going to score 8 points in this game. He said he would try, and he did! We’re proud of him. Watch him score in the following video.

We’re proud of Kara, also. She’s a good player with lots of energy and she plays good defense. We enjoyed watching her game even though her team lost. It’s always enjoyable to watch the games. Here’s a couple of pictures of Kara that I took during the game.

Here’s Kara on the floor. She plays for the Indian Springs Redskins.
Kara’s getting ready to throw the ball inbounds. She’ll yell, “Break”, then throw to a free player.

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Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
No matter how bad things might be for us, there are things we can be thankful for. And no matter how good things may be going for us, it is good for us to pray for others who may be having a hard time.

~~~

Quotes of the Day

He who angers you conquers you. 
~Elizabeth Kenny

Anger is one letter short of danger. 
~Author Unknown

 

~~~
Joke of the Day

A little 9 year old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. "Mommy" she said, " Can we leave now?"

"No." her mother replied.

"Well, I think I have to throw up!"

"Well, then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush."

In about 2 minutes the little girl returned to her seat. "Did you throw up?" her mother asked.

"Yes," replied the little girl.

"Well, how could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and returned so quickly?"

"I didn't have to go out of the church, Mommy," she replied. "They have a box next to the front door that say 'for the sick.'"

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