High Mileage

Mercury Comet
Here’s an interesting story about a lady who owned a Mercury Comet that had 540,000 miles. Her name is Rachel and she’s quite a gal, and she’s got quite a car!

June’s Gone
This is the last day of June! It’s kind of hard to believe that this year is going so fast. It’s half over already! A reminder that time is going fast. It goes faster for us when we are older. I think that’s because we don’t have as many days left to live. Whereas, someone young has many more years of expected life, so time seems to go much slower. 

Gone Fishing Again Today 
I’m going fishing again today, then I’m going to stay away from the lake until after the July 4th. It seems around the holidays there are lots of crazies that get out on the lake. So I’ll stay home and leave them alone.

My fishing buddies, Ralph and Doug, are going with me today. We hope to fish South Holston Lake for some more trout.

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
Someone said without GOD, our week would be: Sinday, Mournday, Tearsday, Wasteday,
Thirstday, Fightday & Shatterday.

Remember seven days WITHOUT GOD makes one WEAK!!

~~~

Quote of the Day

There is no education like adversity.
~Disraeli

~~~
Joke of the Day

Some years ago an old Indian chief sat in his hut on the reservation, smoking a ceremonial pipe and eyeing two US government officials sent by the President to interview him.

Chief Two Eagles was asked by one official, “You’ve observed the white man for many years. You've seen his wars and his technological advances, you've seen his progress, and the damage he's done.”

The Chief nodded in agreement.  The official
continued, “Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?”

The Chief stared at the government officials
for over a minute and then calmly replied,

”When white man found the land, Indians were running it.  No taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, women did all work, medicine man free, Indian man spent all day hunting and fishing, all night doing whatever he wanted.”  Then the chief leaned back and smiled.  “Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that.”

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A Good Weekend

We had a great weekend. Our friends Don and Illa visited us and we a great time.

On Friday night we had our pot luck picnic. We had a big crowd in attendance and the food was great, as usual. This picture shows me waving the flags as we were organizing the picnic tables.	Picture above by Don B
On Saturday we had a late breakfast, then took our visitors for a tour of the area. As part of our tour we went to visit James and Elizabeth at Telford, TN. We had a good visit and ended up a Bob Evans for a good supper together.
On Sunday we took this picture before Don and Illa left to return to Knoxville. (I used the tripod that Dad gave me and the timer on my camera for this shot.)

 

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:

Make use of your opportunities while you can.

~~~

Quote of the Day

A promise is a cloud; fulfillment is rain.
~Arabian Proverb

~~~
Joke of the Day

Today's Stock Market Report:

• Helium was up.
• Feathers were down.
• Paper was stationary.
• Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading.
• Knives were up sharply.
• Pencils lost a few points.
• Hiking equipment was trailing.
• Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline.
• Weights were up in heavy trading.
• Light switches were off.
• Mining equipment hit a rock bottom.
• Diapers remained unchanged.
• The market for raisins dried up.
• Coca Cola fizzled.
• Caterpillar stock inched up a bit.
• Sun peaked at midday.
• Balloon prices were inflated.
  And ... . .
• Charmin Tissue touched a new bottom.

Thanks for this joke, EDK! I like it.

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Retired Bumper Stickers

Have a Laugh or Two
Here’s a few bumper stickers for today, and I’ll have more for you next week…

Have a great weekend! Remember…

 

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

~~~

Quote of the Day

God loves each of us as if there were only one of us.
~St. Augustine

~~~
Joke of the Day

The Proverbs of Life

• A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand
• A Clean House Is A Sign of A Misspent Life
• A Husband Is Someone Who Takes Out the Trash And Gives The Impression He Just Cleaned The Whole House
• A Messy Kitchen Is A Happy Kitchen... And This Kitchen Is Delirious
• Help keep the kitchen clean - Eat OUT
• Housework Done Properly Can Kill You
• If we are what we eat, then I'm easy, fast and cheap.
• My next house will have no kitchen --- just vending machines.
• No Husband Has Ever Been Shot While Doing The Dishes
• Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator

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Picnic Today

Our second picnic of the year is planned for this afternoon. We have a couple of good friends coming to visit us this afternoon, and they will be going to the picnic with us and spending the weekend with us.

Fishing Yesterday 
Beverly and I took Nancy and Sheila for a boating and fishing outing on South Holston Lake. We had a picnic on the water and we did some fishing for trout.

This picture shows Sheila and I holding the stringer. We had 6 nice trout, 5 were Lake Trout and 1 was a Rainbow Trout. The largest was a 3 lb 10 oz Lake Trout that Sheila caught. The stringer weighed 15 pounds.

Common Sense?
A good friend sent me the follow a couple weeks ago. He said it would be useful for my blog:

Everyone concentrates on the problems we're having in this country lately -- illegal immigration, hurricane recovery, alligators attacking people in Florida .
.... not me -- I concentrate on solutions for the problems -- it's a win-win situation.

• Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border.
• Send the dirt to New Orleans to raise the level of the levees.
• Put the Florida alligators in the moat along the Mexican border.

Any other problems you would like for me to solve today?  Think about this:

1. Cows
2. The Constitution
3. The Ten Commandments   

COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.  

THE CONSTITUTION
They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq .... why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for over 200 years, and we're not using it anymore.   

THE 10 COMMANDMENTS
The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this -- you cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians ... it creates a hostile work environment.

 

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
Having a good friend is like having a treasure.

~~~

Quote of the Day

Invest a few moments in thinking. 
It will pay good interest.
~Author Unknown

~~~
Joke of the Day

A bum, who obviously has seen more than his share of hard times, approaches a well dressed gentleman on the street. "Hey, Buddy, can you spare two dollars?" The well-dressed gentleman responds, "You are not going to spend in on liquor are you?"

"No, sir, I don't drink," retorts the bum.

"You are not going to throw it away in some crap game, are you?" asks the gentleman.

"No way, I don't gamble," answers the bum.

"You wouldn't waste the money at a golf course for greens fees, would you?" asks the man.

"Never," says the bum, "I don't play golf."

The man asks the bum if he would like to come home with him for a home cooked meal. The bum accepts eagerly. While they are heading for the man's house, the bum's curiosity gets the better of him. "Isn't your wife going to be angry when she sees a guy like me at your table?"

"Probably," says the man, "but it will be worth it. I want her to see what happens to a guy who doesn't drink, gamble or play golf."

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Big & Small

Star Sizes
This short video shows how small earth is in relation to our sun and other stars that have been discovered by man.

How small we are! How come we ever get the big head? 

On the Lake
If all goes as planned I may be on the lake again today.  I’ve been promising Sheila and Nancy a boat ride and maybe a little fishing. So Beverly will go along to help me with the boat. We’ll also take a picnic lunch and ride the waves in my pontoon boat later today. Who knows… we might just try to catch a fish or two or three or four…

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
When we lived in Mexico, I had saying that was good to remember. It was to “Expect the Unexpected.”

~~~

Quote of the Day

Always borrow money from a pessimist,
he doesn't expect to be paid back.
~Author Unknown

~~~
Joke of the Day

Stress is created when one's mind overrides the body's basic desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it!

How to Control Stress by Relaxing
If you've been having a rough day, there is a stress management technique recommended in all the latest psychological texts in order to help you relax.

Please follow these steps properly to get the full effect:

1. Picture yourself near a stream.
2. Imagine birds chirping softly in the crisp, cool, mountain air.
3. No one but you knows your secret place.
4. You are in total seclusion from that hectic place known as "the world."
5. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.
6. The water is crystal clear...  
   ...You can easily make out the face of the person you're holding under the water.

 

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Pant Sale or Pants Sale?

Advertisement
This ad pictured was in the Knoxville News-Sentinel last Sunday. I have never heard of such. Pant means to gasp for breath, and I doubt that they could sell that.

So it’s almost certain that they meant to say “Pants Sale.”

Did Abe Lincoln Say This?
I got the following in the mail they other day, and I like what I read and I agree with it. But I wondered if Lincoln really said those things. Does anyone know?

 

Fishing Report
We had a fun day of fishing yesterday at S. Holston Lake. We got our limit in Lake Trout, but we fizzled out on the Rainbow Trout. Here’s a few pictures…

Here’s the stringer. The 6 fish weighed about 15 pounds.
Some of the beautiful scenery…
It’s a beautiful lake with the mountains in the background.

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
Time heals most everything. Give time a chance…

~~~

Quote of the Day
I love the sweet smell of dawn -
our unique daily opportunity to smell time,
to smell opportunity -
each morning being, a new beginning.
~Emme Woodhull-Bäche

~~~
Joke of the Day

Given that Al Gore has no job, he decided to take a sightseeing vacation to Europe. While visiting England, he is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people. He asks how she knows if they're intelligent. "I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Queen. "Allow me to demonstrate."

She phones Tony Blair. "Mr. Prime Minister," she says, "please answer this question: "Your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?"

Tony Blair responds, "It's me, ma'am."

"Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says the Queen. She hangs up and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Gore?"

"Yes ma'am. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!"

Upon returning home, he decides he'd better put some of his old friends to the test. He calls Bill Clinton and says, "Hi, Bill, I wonder if you can answer a question for me."

"Why, of course, Al. What's on your mind?" "Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Clinton hems and haws and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get back to you?" Gore agrees, and Clinton hangs up. Clinton immediately calls members of his old staff, and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer. Finally, in desperation, Clinton calls Colin Powell at the State Department and explains his problem. "Now look here, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Powell answers immediately, "It's me, of course, you idiot."

Much relieved, Clinton rushes back to call Gore and exclaims, "I know the answer, Al! I know who it is! It's Colin Powell!"

"Wrong!" Gore replies. "It's Tony Blair."

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Monkey Boy

Zachary Climbs
On Father’s Day, we were invited over to Kevin and Lesley’s for a hamburger cookout. We had a great time. And we got to see Zachary perform a his latest climbing trick on the door jamb. I made a YouTube video, and you can watch this marvelous feat right here. Enjoy…

Gone Fishing
While the trout are still taking the bait, we thought we would run back up to South Holston Lake today and give it a try. So… when you read this I may be riding the waves, while fighting a monster trout. (I hope!). Remember…

“Good things come to those who bait”.

 

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
Get outside every day.
Miracles are waiting everywhere.

~~~

Quote of the Day

Three-fourths of the Earth's surface is water, and one-fourth is land.  It is quite clear that the good Lord intended us to spend triple the amount of time fishing as taking care of the lawn.
~Chuck Clark

~~~
Joke of the Day

A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half past three in the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this time," he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows.

"Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife.

So, he drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs. He opens the door and there is a man standing at the door. It doesn't take the homeowner long to realize the man is drunk.

"Hi there," slurs the stranger. "Can you give me a push?"

"No, get lost! It's half past three! I was in bed!" screams the man as he slams the door.

He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened. She remarks, "Honey, that wasn't very nice of you. Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the baby sitter and you had to knock on that man's house to get us started again? What would have happened if he'd told us to get lost?"

"But the guy was drunk," says the husband.

"It doesn't matter," explains the wife. "He needs our help and it would be nice to help him."

So, the husband gets out of bed again, gets dressed, and goes downstairs. He opens the door but he can't see the stranger anywhere in the dark, so he shouts, "Hey, do you still want a push?"

He hears a voice cry out, "Yes, please."

“Where are you?" shouts the homeowner.

The stranger calls back, "I'm over here, in your swing."

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