It's Halloween

Boo! Some funny one-liners for Halloween:

• Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist? To improve his bite...
  
  
• What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite...
  
  
• Why do witches use brooms to fly on? Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy...
  
  
• How do witches keep their hair in place while flying? With scare spray...
  
  
• Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers? No, they eat the fingers separately...
  
  
• Why don't skeletons ever go out on the town? Because they don't have any body to go out with...
• What do ghosts add to their morning cereal? Booberries...
  
  
• What is a vampire's favorite sport? Casketball...
  
  
• What is a vampire's favorite holiday? Fangsgiving...
  
  
• What would a monster's psychiatrist be called? Shrinkenstein...
  
  
• What did one ghost say to the other ghost? "Do you believe in people?"
  
  
• What do you call someone who puts poison in a person's corn flakes? A cereal killer...
  
  
• Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends? They're so wrapped up in themselves...
  
  
• What kind of streets do zombies like the best? Dead ends...
  
  
• What does the papa ghost say to his family when driving? Fasten your sheet belts...
  
  
• What is a vampire's favorite mode of transportation? A blood vessel...
  
  
• What type of dog do vampire's like the best? Bloodhounds...
  
  
• What is a ghoul's favorite flavor? Lemon-slime...
  
  
• What does a vampire never order at a restaurant? A stake sandwich...
  
  
• What do birds give out on Halloween night? Tweets...
  
  
• Why do vampires need mouthwash? They have bat breath...
  
  
• What's a vampire's favorite fast food? A guy with very high blood pressure...

Pumpkin Faces
For an excellent PowerPoint slide show of Pumpkin Faces, go to the link below and download the PumpkinFaces.pps file. The picture shown here is an example of the carvings.

Slide Shows

Something Different
Here's an interesting commercial for a British automobile.

~~~
Tennessee Granddaddy Says:

My Mother used to tell a story about a young girl... now this happened many years ago. Her "friends" dared her to go into the graveyard and stab a sharp knife into one of the graves at midnight on Halloween. She took the dare!

She did not come home that night. Next morning they found her in the cemetery dead from fright. When she had kneeled down to stab the knife in the ground, the knife had gone through her dress. Evidently when she got up to leave, she felt the pulling on her dress. Thinking it was a hand from the grave pulling her back, she died from fright.

Now if I were you, I would stay way clear of graveyards tonight, and be very careful no matter where you are.

~~~
Quote of the Day

When witches go riding,
and black cats are seen,
the moon laughs and whispers,
‘tis near Halloween.
~Author Unknown

~~~
Joke of the Day

Two men were walking home after a Halloween party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows.

Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.

"Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath, "You scared us half to death -- we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?"

"Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"

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