What is APHORISM?
I got an email explaining it, but it was a new word for me. One dictionary defined it as “a terse saying embodying a general truth, or astute observation.” The email said it was A SHORT, POINTED SENTENCE EXPRESSING A WISE OR CLEVER OBSERVATION OR A GENERAL TRUTH. Here’s the list of Aphorisms, and some are pretty funny:
- ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
- BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye.
- CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
- COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
- DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out.
- EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
- HANDKERCHIEF: Cold Storage.
- INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
- MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better.
- RAISIN: A grape with a sunburn.
- SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time.
- SKELETONS: A bunch of bones with the people scraped off.
- TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction.
- TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
- YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.
- WRINKLES: Something other people have, similar to my character lines.
My personal favorite from the list above is the Aphorism for “Secret”… something you only tell to one person at a time.
Worry is a misuse of imagination.
Joke of the Day
One day, a man walked into a newsroom claiming he had a talking dog. A reporter agreed to run a story on the dog, provided that it could actually speak.
With an air of pride, the man asked the dog, "What is just above us?"
The dog replied, "Roof!"
Understandably, the reporter was not impressed.
Somewhat worried, the man asked the dog, "What does sandpaper feel like?"
The dog responded, "Rough!"
Again, the reporter wasn't convinced.
In desperation, the man asked the dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?"
The dog answered, "Ruth!"
The reporter finally had enough, so he kicked the pair out of the building.
As they sat dejected on the sidewalk, the dog turned to the man and asked, "DiMaggio?"