High Mileage

Mercury Comet
Here’s an interesting story about a lady who owned a Mercury Comet that had 540,000 miles. Her name is Rachel and she’s quite a gal, and she’s got quite a car!

June’s Gone
This is the last day of June! It’s kind of hard to believe that this year is going so fast. It’s half over already! A reminder that time is going fast. It goes faster for us when we are older. I think that’s because we don’t have as many days left to live. Whereas, someone young has many more years of expected life, so time seems to go much slower. 

Gone Fishing Again Today 
I’m going fishing again today, then I’m going to stay away from the lake until after the July 4th. It seems around the holidays there are lots of crazies that get out on the lake. So I’ll stay home and leave them alone.

My fishing buddies, Ralph and Doug, are going with me today. We hope to fish South Holston Lake for some more trout.

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
Someone said without GOD, our week would be: Sinday, Mournday, Tearsday, Wasteday,
Thirstday, Fightday & Shatterday.

Remember seven days WITHOUT GOD makes one WEAK!!

~~~

Quote of the Day

There is no education like adversity.
~Disraeli

~~~
Joke of the Day

Some years ago an old Indian chief sat in his hut on the reservation, smoking a ceremonial pipe and eyeing two US government officials sent by the President to interview him.

Chief Two Eagles was asked by one official, “You’ve observed the white man for many years. You've seen his wars and his technological advances, you've seen his progress, and the damage he's done.”

The Chief nodded in agreement.  The official
continued, “Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?”

The Chief stared at the government officials
for over a minute and then calmly replied,

”When white man found the land, Indians were running it.  No taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, women did all work, medicine man free, Indian man spent all day hunting and fishing, all night doing whatever he wanted.”  Then the chief leaned back and smiled.  “Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that.”

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A Good Weekend

We had a great weekend. Our friends Don and Illa visited us and we a great time.

On Friday night we had our pot luck picnic. We had a big crowd in attendance and the food was great, as usual. This picture shows me waving the flags as we were organizing the picnic tables.	Picture above by Don B
On Saturday we had a late breakfast, then took our visitors for a tour of the area. As part of our tour we went to visit James and Elizabeth at Telford, TN. We had a good visit and ended up a Bob Evans for a good supper together.
On Sunday we took this picture before Don and Illa left to return to Knoxville. (I used the tripod that Dad gave me and the timer on my camera for this shot.)

 

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:

Make use of your opportunities while you can.

~~~

Quote of the Day

A promise is a cloud; fulfillment is rain.
~Arabian Proverb

~~~
Joke of the Day

Today's Stock Market Report:

• Helium was up.
• Feathers were down.
• Paper was stationary.
• Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading.
• Knives were up sharply.
• Pencils lost a few points.
• Hiking equipment was trailing.
• Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline.
• Weights were up in heavy trading.
• Light switches were off.
• Mining equipment hit a rock bottom.
• Diapers remained unchanged.
• The market for raisins dried up.
• Coca Cola fizzled.
• Caterpillar stock inched up a bit.
• Sun peaked at midday.
• Balloon prices were inflated.
  And ... . .
• Charmin Tissue touched a new bottom.

Thanks for this joke, EDK! I like it.

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Retired Bumper Stickers

Have a Laugh or Two
Here’s a few bumper stickers for today, and I’ll have more for you next week…

Have a great weekend! Remember…

 

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

~~~

Quote of the Day

God loves each of us as if there were only one of us.
~St. Augustine

~~~
Joke of the Day

The Proverbs of Life

• A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand
• A Clean House Is A Sign of A Misspent Life
• A Husband Is Someone Who Takes Out the Trash And Gives The Impression He Just Cleaned The Whole House
• A Messy Kitchen Is A Happy Kitchen... And This Kitchen Is Delirious
• Help keep the kitchen clean - Eat OUT
• Housework Done Properly Can Kill You
• If we are what we eat, then I'm easy, fast and cheap.
• My next house will have no kitchen --- just vending machines.
• No Husband Has Ever Been Shot While Doing The Dishes
• Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator

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Picnic Today

Our second picnic of the year is planned for this afternoon. We have a couple of good friends coming to visit us this afternoon, and they will be going to the picnic with us and spending the weekend with us.

Fishing Yesterday 
Beverly and I took Nancy and Sheila for a boating and fishing outing on South Holston Lake. We had a picnic on the water and we did some fishing for trout.

This picture shows Sheila and I holding the stringer. We had 6 nice trout, 5 were Lake Trout and 1 was a Rainbow Trout. The largest was a 3 lb 10 oz Lake Trout that Sheila caught. The stringer weighed 15 pounds.

Common Sense?
A good friend sent me the follow a couple weeks ago. He said it would be useful for my blog:

Everyone concentrates on the problems we're having in this country lately -- illegal immigration, hurricane recovery, alligators attacking people in Florida .
.... not me -- I concentrate on solutions for the problems -- it's a win-win situation.

• Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border.
• Send the dirt to New Orleans to raise the level of the levees.
• Put the Florida alligators in the moat along the Mexican border.

Any other problems you would like for me to solve today?  Think about this:

1. Cows
2. The Constitution
3. The Ten Commandments   

COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.  

THE CONSTITUTION
They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq .... why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for over 200 years, and we're not using it anymore.   

THE 10 COMMANDMENTS
The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this -- you cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians ... it creates a hostile work environment.

 

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
Having a good friend is like having a treasure.

~~~

Quote of the Day

Invest a few moments in thinking. 
It will pay good interest.
~Author Unknown

~~~
Joke of the Day

A bum, who obviously has seen more than his share of hard times, approaches a well dressed gentleman on the street. "Hey, Buddy, can you spare two dollars?" The well-dressed gentleman responds, "You are not going to spend in on liquor are you?"

"No, sir, I don't drink," retorts the bum.

"You are not going to throw it away in some crap game, are you?" asks the gentleman.

"No way, I don't gamble," answers the bum.

"You wouldn't waste the money at a golf course for greens fees, would you?" asks the man.

"Never," says the bum, "I don't play golf."

The man asks the bum if he would like to come home with him for a home cooked meal. The bum accepts eagerly. While they are heading for the man's house, the bum's curiosity gets the better of him. "Isn't your wife going to be angry when she sees a guy like me at your table?"

"Probably," says the man, "but it will be worth it. I want her to see what happens to a guy who doesn't drink, gamble or play golf."

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Big & Small

Star Sizes
This short video shows how small earth is in relation to our sun and other stars that have been discovered by man.

How small we are! How come we ever get the big head? 

On the Lake
If all goes as planned I may be on the lake again today.  I’ve been promising Sheila and Nancy a boat ride and maybe a little fishing. So Beverly will go along to help me with the boat. We’ll also take a picnic lunch and ride the waves in my pontoon boat later today. Who knows… we might just try to catch a fish or two or three or four…

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
When we lived in Mexico, I had saying that was good to remember. It was to “Expect the Unexpected.”

~~~

Quote of the Day

Always borrow money from a pessimist,
he doesn't expect to be paid back.
~Author Unknown

~~~
Joke of the Day

Stress is created when one's mind overrides the body's basic desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it!

How to Control Stress by Relaxing
If you've been having a rough day, there is a stress management technique recommended in all the latest psychological texts in order to help you relax.

Please follow these steps properly to get the full effect:

1. Picture yourself near a stream.
2. Imagine birds chirping softly in the crisp, cool, mountain air.
3. No one but you knows your secret place.
4. You are in total seclusion from that hectic place known as "the world."
5. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.
6. The water is crystal clear...  
   ...You can easily make out the face of the person you're holding under the water.

 

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Pant Sale or Pants Sale?

Advertisement
This ad pictured was in the Knoxville News-Sentinel last Sunday. I have never heard of such. Pant means to gasp for breath, and I doubt that they could sell that.

So it’s almost certain that they meant to say “Pants Sale.”

Did Abe Lincoln Say This?
I got the following in the mail they other day, and I like what I read and I agree with it. But I wondered if Lincoln really said those things. Does anyone know?

 

Fishing Report
We had a fun day of fishing yesterday at S. Holston Lake. We got our limit in Lake Trout, but we fizzled out on the Rainbow Trout. Here’s a few pictures…

Here’s the stringer. The 6 fish weighed about 15 pounds.
Some of the beautiful scenery…
It’s a beautiful lake with the mountains in the background.

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
Time heals most everything. Give time a chance…

~~~

Quote of the Day
I love the sweet smell of dawn -
our unique daily opportunity to smell time,
to smell opportunity -
each morning being, a new beginning.
~Emme Woodhull-Bäche

~~~
Joke of the Day

Given that Al Gore has no job, he decided to take a sightseeing vacation to Europe. While visiting England, he is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people. He asks how she knows if they're intelligent. "I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Queen. "Allow me to demonstrate."

She phones Tony Blair. "Mr. Prime Minister," she says, "please answer this question: "Your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?"

Tony Blair responds, "It's me, ma'am."

"Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says the Queen. She hangs up and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Gore?"

"Yes ma'am. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!"

Upon returning home, he decides he'd better put some of his old friends to the test. He calls Bill Clinton and says, "Hi, Bill, I wonder if you can answer a question for me."

"Why, of course, Al. What's on your mind?" "Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Clinton hems and haws and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get back to you?" Gore agrees, and Clinton hangs up. Clinton immediately calls members of his old staff, and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer. Finally, in desperation, Clinton calls Colin Powell at the State Department and explains his problem. "Now look here, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Powell answers immediately, "It's me, of course, you idiot."

Much relieved, Clinton rushes back to call Gore and exclaims, "I know the answer, Al! I know who it is! It's Colin Powell!"

"Wrong!" Gore replies. "It's Tony Blair."

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Monkey Boy

Zachary Climbs
On Father’s Day, we were invited over to Kevin and Lesley’s for a hamburger cookout. We had a great time. And we got to see Zachary perform a his latest climbing trick on the door jamb. I made a YouTube video, and you can watch this marvelous feat right here. Enjoy…

Gone Fishing
While the trout are still taking the bait, we thought we would run back up to South Holston Lake today and give it a try. So… when you read this I may be riding the waves, while fighting a monster trout. (I hope!). Remember…

“Good things come to those who bait”.

 

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
Get outside every day.
Miracles are waiting everywhere.

~~~

Quote of the Day

Three-fourths of the Earth's surface is water, and one-fourth is land.  It is quite clear that the good Lord intended us to spend triple the amount of time fishing as taking care of the lawn.
~Chuck Clark

~~~
Joke of the Day

A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half past three in the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this time," he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows.

"Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife.

So, he drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs. He opens the door and there is a man standing at the door. It doesn't take the homeowner long to realize the man is drunk.

"Hi there," slurs the stranger. "Can you give me a push?"

"No, get lost! It's half past three! I was in bed!" screams the man as he slams the door.

He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened. She remarks, "Honey, that wasn't very nice of you. Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the baby sitter and you had to knock on that man's house to get us started again? What would have happened if he'd told us to get lost?"

"But the guy was drunk," says the husband.

"It doesn't matter," explains the wife. "He needs our help and it would be nice to help him."

So, the husband gets out of bed again, gets dressed, and goes downstairs. He opens the door but he can't see the stranger anywhere in the dark, so he shouts, "Hey, do you still want a push?"

He hears a voice cry out, "Yes, please."

“Where are you?" shouts the homeowner.

The stranger calls back, "I'm over here, in your swing."

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A New Week

Mark Gregory White
Last Saturday we visited the grave of our son, Greg, and placed some new flowers on the grave.  Greg is Mandy’s Daddy. Greg was killed in a car accident when Mandy was just a few weeks old.

The cemetery is well maintained and not too far from our home. It always brings sadness to think of his departure from this earthly scene. We miss him dearly. But life goes on, and while we miss those that are gone, we value and love those that we live with today. As we know, life consists of tears and joy interwoven.

Temper !@$#%&*$!
Sometimes we might loose our temper. Hopefully as we have grown older we have learned to control our temper and go through life with joy. Here’s an interesting story about temper that teaches some good lessons.

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence....

Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.

The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there."

A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one. Friends are a very rare jewel indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to us."

 

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
Blessed are those who can give without remembering
And take without forgetting.

~~~

Quote of the Day

Our birth is nothing but our death begun.
~Edward Young

~~~
Joke of the Day

Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew all about it. If any mischief occurred in their town, the two boys were probably involved. The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys.

The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually. So the mother sent the 8 year old first in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon.

The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, 'Do you know where God is, son?'

The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open.

So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, 'Where is God?'

Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, 'Where is God?'

The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, 'What happened?'

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, 'We are in BIG trouble this time,'

“GOD is missing, and they think we did it”

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Father’s Day, June 21, 2009

Tomorrow is Father’s Day
Tomorrow is a special day. A day to Celebrate Father’s Day. I have two fathers that I want to honor:

My Dad and My Son

For My Dad – Dad has been a wonderful Father and I am thankful for his example and advice through the years. No one could be kinder, helpful, and more gentle than my Dad. Dad, thanks for teaching me how to love, how to help others, and how to put God first. I hope I can live up to your standard. I’m proud to call you my Dad.

For My Son – Kevin has grown up to be a fine young man, a devoted husband, and a loving father. I admire his love and care for his family. He puts his family first, and he sacrifices his own self to help others. Kevin, you are a wonderful father that makes your Dad and Mom proud to call you our son.

~~~

Fishing Report
The fishing on South Holston Lake continues to be very good for trout. Doug, Ralph, and I fished the lake yesterday and had our limit of Lake Trout by early afternoon. However, we only caught one rainbow trout.

After we had our limit we caught and released as many as we brought home. It was a good day to enjoy the water, feel the waves, and catch some fish.

We’ve also learned that the Lake Trout are very good eating, especially on the grill. I’ve been filleting my fish, and then laying the fillets on the grill with spices including a generous sprinkling of pepper. They are delicious that way,

 

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
When growing up, my Dad was a man that made you want to obey him. Not out of fear, but because you didn’t want to displease him.

&

Someone said that Mother's Day and Father's Day are alike. Well, except of course, on Father's Day, you can buy a much cheaper gift.

~~~

Quotes of the Day

It is not flesh and blood but the heart
which makes us fathers and sons. 
~Johann Schiller

Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter
how tall I've grown. 
~Author Unknown

Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder
will remain with me forever.
~Author Unknown

~~~
Joke of the Day

You can change this joke around to suit your fancy…

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Florida Gator. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were Gators, too.

Not really knowing what a Florida Gator was but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks.

There is, however, one exception. A girl named Kristen has not gone along with the crowd.

The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.

"Because I am not a Gator."

Then, asks the teacher, what are you?

"Why, I'm a proud Tennessee Volunteer," boasts the little girl.

The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Kristen why she is a Vol.

"Well, my mom and dad are Vols, so I'm a Vol too."

The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?"

A pause, and a smile. "Then," says Kristen, "I'd be Gator."

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The Ross Sisters

Amazing! Really Amazing!!!
Watch this video of the amazing Ross Sisters from 1944. Don’t stop halfway, and you will see some amazing stuff.

A Great Eagle Picture
A good friend sent me the following picture taken by Bruce Cole which was taken on the Holston River near Kingsport, Tennessee. We’ve got a few eagles around here.

Fishing Today
If all goes as planned I hope to be on South Holston Lake later this morning to try another day of fishing for Lake and Rainbow Trout. The Lake Trout are not native to this lake, but have been stocked during the past few years. They are growing good, but so far there are no positive signs that they are reproducing in the lake.

 

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
Even when we have pains, we don't have to be one.

~~~

Quote of the Day

I've never seen a smiling face that was not beautiful. 
~Author Unknown

~~~
Joke of the Day

A newcomer to Portland (or Seattle) arrives on a rainy day. She gets up the next day and it's raining. It also rains the day after that, and the day after that.

She goes out to lunch and sees a young kid and, out of despair, asks, "Hey, kid, does it ever stop raining around here?"

The kid says, "How should I know? I'm only 6."

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Oreo, Not the Cookie

Update of Kara & Zachary’s Puppy
We were fortunate to have a visit from Oreo last Saturday. We all enjoyed watching, petting and playing with Oreo. She’s getting growing too. Here’s a few picture of Oreo, a lab mix.

Oreo
Kara and Oreo. Kara taught her to “sit”.
Zachary and Oreo. They enjoy playing together.
Oreo is checking things out.

Natural Tunnel
We had a great time this past Tuesday. We took a day trip to Natural Tunnel which is a short distance from Gate City, VA. On the way home we had a feast at the Hob Nob Drive-in. Here’s a few pictures. If you wish, click on each picture for a larger view.

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
Nothing is better than that human touch: holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.

~~~

Quote of the Day

To think too long about doing a thing
often becomes its undoing.
~Eva Young

~~~
Joke of the Day

A dietitian was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago.

"Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water.

"But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"

A 75-year-old man in the front row stood up and said, "Wedding cake."

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The Wooden Bowl

A Good Story with a Good Lesson
A good friend sent this story about the wooden bowl to me last week. Snopes said this story had more legs than a bucket of chicken, but I enjoyed it, and I though you might like to read it and think about it…

The Wooden Bowl

A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four-year-old grandson. The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered

The family ate together at the table. But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor.
When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.

The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess. 'We must do something about father,' said the son. 'I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor.'

So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner.
There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner. Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl.

When the family glanced in Grandfather's direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone.
Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.

The four-year-old watched it all in silence.

One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, 'What are you making?' Just as sweetly, the boy responded, 'Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up.’
The four-year-old smiled and went back to work.

The words so struck the parents so that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done.

That evening the husband took Grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table. For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

~~~

Quote of the Day

Do not regret growing older.
It is a privilege denied to many. 
~Author Unknown

~~~
Joke of the Day

From a redneck: What My Mother Taught Me

My mother taught me RELIGION -
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me LOGIC -
"Because I said so, that's why."

My mother taught me FORESIGHT -
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

My mother taught me IRONY -
"Keep laughing and I'll give you something to cry about."

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS -
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

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Update on Jade

One of My Other “Daughters”
Jade has now finished her first year of college. She is not going home to Vietnam this summer, instead she is working two jobs to save money for her education. She sent Nana and Papa this picture a few days ago to show us her hairdo. (To Jade we are Papa and Nana, not Granddaddy and Grandmother.)

Nana and Papa miss her and hope she will be able to come “home” to Tennessee for a visit before school starts this fall. We miss you Jade!

Birds and More
The backyard has been active with birds and squirrels the past few weeks. The feeders get emptied so very quickly, especially the finch feeder which is filled with thistle seed. Here’s a couple of pictures I took a couple of days ago.

And I have something else interesting… I have seen an albino squirrel a couple of times in the last few days. I hoping to get a picture soon, but he seems kind of shy.

If you’re interested you may want to read about several towns that brag about the number of white squirrels that live in their jurisdiction. Read about the White Squirrel Wars.

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
Dr. W. Edwards Deming autographed his book,
Out of the Crisis, for my son Kevin.
He wrote, “Learn to love learning.”
I like that.

~~~

Quote of the Day

Live as if you were to die tomorrow.
Learn as if you were to live forever.
~ Mahatma Gandhi

~~~
Joke of the Day

My face in the mirror
Isn't wrinkled or drawn,
My house isn't dirty,
The cobwebs are gone.

My garden looks lovely,
And so does my lawn.
I think I might never
Put my glasses back on.

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Broken Finger

Kevin’s Left Pinky
He broke his finger two weeks ago, and they did the surgery a little over a week ago. I thought you might like to see the before and after x-rays.

Before Surgery
After Surgery

Japanese Wisdom

 

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
You can tell a lot about a person by how they handle little disappointments in this life.

~~~

Quote of the Day

We make a living by what we get;
we make a life by what we give.
~ Winston Churchill

~~~
Joke of the Day

Tale from an old geezer…

I went to the store the other day. I was only in there about five minutes. When I came out there was policeman writing out a parking ticket. I went up to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how about giving a senior a break?"

He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Nazi. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires.

So I called him a a dirty and dumb cop.

He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket.

This went on for about 20 minutes ... the more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn't give a hoot. My car was parked around the corner.

I try to have a little fun each day. It's important at my age.

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Memory Lane

A Private Town
Memory Lane is a private town developed by Otis and Kathy Eldridge in Rogersville, Tennessee. I have never been there, but would like to go some time.

The way I understand it, this place is only open once per year, on the Saturday of Memorial Day weekend. Then they have a big car show on the premises.

Here’s a YouTube video that explains more about this special place.

 

More Info on Memory Lane

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
You can go anywhere you want
if you look serious
and carry a clipboard.

Be careful today…
Friday the 13th came on Saturday this month!

~~~

Quote of the Day

Real knowledge is to know
the extent of one's ignorance.
~Confucius

~~~
Joke of the Day

Little Johnny's teacher asked him, "Johnny, give me a sentence using the words, "bitter end" in it.

Little Johnny thought for a moment and replies, "Our dog chased our cat and he bitter end."

Have a great weekend!

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Softball Days

Kara Plays
Kara’s playing softball again this year. We went and watched a game yesterday morning. Here’s a couple of pictures I took.

Kara’s at the plate where she hit a sharp single to right field.
Later, she heads for home down the third base line.

Miscellaneous
Here’s a few things I either ran across or someone sent me that I thought you might find interesting:

• God and the Spider
• Image Gallery of Things Magnified
• Parent’s Wish
• Reno Balloon Race
• Extreme Golf

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says: 
The other line always moves faster
until you get in it.

~~~

Quote of the Day

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
~E. E. Cummings

~~~
Joke of the Day

A woman goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is written.

The obit editor informs her that the fee for the obituary is 50 cents a word. She pauses, reflects and then says, "Well, then, let is read, 'Fred Brown died.'"

Amused at the woman's thrift, the editor tells her that there is a 7 word minimum for all obituaries.

Only a little flustered, she thinks things over and in a few seconds says, "In that case, let it read, 'Fred Brown died. 1988 Bronco For Sale.'"

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Hubble Hubble

The Big Picture
The following link will take you to the Boston Globe’s  web page for one of their features they call The Big Picture. The link goes to some fantastic photo’s of Hubble Telescope’s Final Servicing Mission on Monday, May 11, 2009. There are a total of 31 photographs. Enjoy!

Hubble Servicing

 

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
Generally speaking,
you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving.

~~~

Quote of the Day

It's nice to be important,
but it's more important to be nice. 
~Author Unknown

~~~
Joke of the Day

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, "What is this, Father?"

The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room.

The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.

Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24-year-old blonde woman stepped out.

The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son "Go get your mother."

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A Different Perspective on Rednecks

A Different Look
I received this a few days ago from a friend in Knoxville. I don’t know the author, but I enjoyed it and I thought you might like it also.

We have enjoyed the redneck jokes for years. It's time to take a reflective look at the core beliefs of a culture that values home, family, country and God. If I had to stand before a dozen terrorists who threaten my life, I'd choose a half dozen or so rednecks to back me up. Tire irons, squirrel guns and grit -- that's what rednecks are made of. I hope I am one of those. If you feel the same, pass this on to your redneck friends. Ya'll know who ya’ll are.

You might be a redneck if: It never occurred to you to be offended by the phrase, 'One nation, under God.' 


You might be a redneck if:  You've never protested about seeing the 10 Commandments posted in public places. 

You might be a redneck if:  You still say ' Christmas' instead of 'Winter Festival.' 

You might be a redneck if:  You bow your head when someone prays.

You might be a redneck if:  You stand and place your hand over your heart when they play the National Anthem.

You might be a redneck if:  You treat our armed forces veterans with great respect, and always have. 

You might be a redneck if:  You've never burned an American flag, nor intend to.

You might be a redneck if:  You know what you believe and you aren't afraid to say so, no matter who is listening.

You might be a redneck if:  You respect your elders and raised your kids to do the same.

You might be a redneck if:  You'd give your last dollar to a friend.

Have you got enough red neck in you to have the same beliefs as those above?

Fishing Report 
We had a good day on South Holston Lake yesterday. We caught our limit of Lake Trout by 1:00 PM and then fished for rainbow trout, but didn’t have much luck. We came home with 8 lake trout and 1 rainbow trout.

We got checked by TWRA. They checked boater registration, fishing licenses, and counted the fish to make sure we were not over the limit. They told us they were checking real close these days because of reports of people taking more than the 2 per day limit of lake trout.

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
A closed mouth gathers no foot.

~~~

Quote of the Day

The wise still seek Him. 
~Author Unknown

~~~
Joke of the Day

The other day, I happened by chance,
As I passed a mirror, to give it a glance.
And I wondered who that old man could be,
Who, with his mouth wide open, was looking at me!

His bald head was sprinkled with a little gray fuzz,
And he wasn't at all handsome (like I always was).
He looked like a sack of mis-mated parts,
Put together without aid of instructions or charts.

And while I know that my shoulders don't slump,
This person's were misshapen in one ugly hump!
Now, if that was my image, I only can say,
They don't make mirrors like they did in my day!

~ Author Unknown

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The Other Fellow

You and Me
I ran across these words the other day. It helps us see  the bias we probably have when we look at the other fellow. Our judgment is loaded with favoritism when we look at ourselves. Read on and you’ll see what I mean.

When the other fellow takes a long time, he's slow,
When I take my time, I'm thorough.

When the other fellow doesn't do it, he's lazy,
When I don't do it, I'm too busy.

When the other fellow does something without being told, he's overstepping his grounds, When I do it, that's initiative.

When the other fellow strongly gives his side, he's bullheaded, When I do it I'm being firm.

When the other fellow pleases his boss, he's polishing the brass. When I do it, that's cooperation.

When the other fellow overlooks a rule of etiquette, he's rude, When I skip a few rules, I'm original.

When the other fellow is promoted, he's getting the breaks, When I manage to get ahead, it's hard work.

~ Author of the above in unknown 

Gone Fishing Today
We’re heading back to South Holston Lake today to fish for some of those trout. We’ll have four of us in the boat: Doug S, Doug B, Ralph, and myself. There’s plenty of room in the boat so we will not have any problems. I’ll let you know tomorrow if we do any good.
 

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

~~~

Quote of the Day

Primitive does not mean stupid. 
~Author Unknown

~~~
Joke of the Day

An avid fisherman was driving home from a fishing trip in northern Michigan with his boat in tow, when he had engine trouble a few miles inland from Lake Huron.  He didn't have a CB radio in his car, so he decided to use his marine radio to get help.  Climbing into his boat, he broadcast his call letters and asked for assistance.

A Coast Guard officer responded, "Please give your location."

He answered, "I'm on Interstate-75, two miles south of Standish."

The officer paused, "Could you repeat that?"

The fisherman repeated, "I-75, two miles south of Standish."

There was a longer pause...

Then an incredulous voice asked, "How fast were you going when you hit shore?!"

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48 Years Ago Today

Our Wedding Anniversary
On June 8, 1961, Beverly and I were married in Knoxville, Tennessee. I had just graduated from college with a BS degree and Beverly had just graduated from high school.

Here’s our wedding day picture taken in Mom and Dad’s living room where we were married by a Justice of the Peace.
We had a honeymoon in Florida. We left Knoxville after our wedding in our 57 Chevy convertible that looked like the one in the picture, except ours had a white top, and “Just Married” was written on the trunk.

We spent a week in Crystal River and we also visited Daytona Beach before we returned to Knoxville. I worked for TVA in a summer job, before we loaded all we owned and some of what we had borrowed and took off for Raleigh, NC, where I had an assistantship to work on my masters degree. After 2 years in Raleigh we moved to Kingsport, TN, for my employment with what is now Eastman Chemical Company.

Here we are 48 years later. Time does tell a tale.

We have had a wonderful marriage, and I feel so fortunate to have such a wonderful, loving, and patient wife. I truly did not deserve her, but I am thankful for her, and love her more each day.

 

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
It is far more impressive when others
discover your good qualities
without your help.

~~~

Quote of the Day

Love looks through a telescope;
envy, through a microscope. 
~Josh Billings

~~~
Joke of the Day

One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the side of the road. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.

"Why are you eating grass?" he asked one man.

"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied.

"Oh, come along with me then," instructed the lawyer.

"But, sir, I have a wife and two children!"

"Bring them along!" replied the lawyer. He turned to the other man and said, "Come with us."

"But sir, I have a wife and six children!" the second man answered.

"Bring them as well!" answered the lawyer as he headed for his limo.

They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large of that size.

Once underway, one of the poor fellows says, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you." The lawyer replied, "No problem, the grass at my home is almost a foot tall."

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Hope You Have A Happy Weekend

Virginia Free Fishing Days
This current weekend (Friday, Saturday, and Sunday) are free fishing days in the state of Virginia. Yesterday we tried the Virginia waters of South Holston Lake. We’ve heard the walleye fishing was better on the Virginia side of the lake. (Unfortunately, Tennessee and Virginia do not have a reciprocal license agreement for South Holston Lake.)

We fished in Virginia until early afternoon and caught nothing and saw nothing on our fish locator.

So we left Virginia and put the boat in Tennessee waters. We ended up with 6 nice lake trout. We did not catch any walleye, but the 6 lake trout made a nice mess.

 

Cartoon
The other day I saw a cartoon showing two fish talking. Well, I adapted the words to show what they “might” be saying (wishful thinking). It is all in fun.

I saw a bumper sticker once that said, “Fish tremble at the sound of my name.” That’s certainly not the case with me.

Kevin’s Surgery 
Kevin’s surgery on his finger yesterday, resulted in the doctors putting in 3 screws. I talked to him last evening and he goes back today to have the bandage changed and for some therapy. That was a bad break on his little finger.

--:::--

Hope you have a wonderful and enjoyable weekend!

 

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:

No one else is in change of your happiness.
You are!

~~~

Quote of the Day

Sunday clears away the rust of the whole week.
~Joseph Addison

~~~
Joke of the Day

A University of Alabama football player was visiting a relative in Boston over the holidays. He went to a large party and met a pretty coed. He was attempting to start up a conversation with the line, "Where do ya'll go ta'school?"

The coed, of course, was not overly impressed with his grammar or southern drawl, but answered his question anyway,

"Yale," she replied.

The UA student took a big, deep breath and shouted, "WHERE DO YA'LL GO TA'SCHOOL!?"

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The Bear

The Cougar Scene
This video clip is from a 1988 wildlife movie called “The Bear”. It was known as “L’Ours” in its original release in France. it was adapted from the novel The Grizzly King by James Oliver Curwood. I think you will enjoy. It makes you want to read the book. I’ve heard that the movie has not one word spoken by a human.

Kevin’s Having Surgery Today
This past Monday my son, Kevin, broke his pinky finger playing softball. He had an the X-Ray made on Wednesday, and yesterday he had an appointment with the doctor who scheduled his surgery for today. Here’s the X-Ray and you can see that the break definitely needs surgery. Click on the picture for a larger view so you can then see the break more clearly

 

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
Whenever so-called disaster strikes,
ask yourself, “In 100 years will this matter?”

~~~

Quote of the Day

I always think of my sins when I weed. 
They grow apace in the same way
and are harder still to get rid of.
~Helena Rutherfurd Ely

~~~
Joke of the Day

A man entered a stationery store and asked the clerk for a 'birthday/anniversary card.'

The clerk replied, 'We have birthday cards and we have anniversary cards. Why not take one of each?'

The man said, 'You don't understand. I need a card that covers both events. You see, we're celebrating the fifth anniversary of my wife's thirty-fourth birthday.'

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Clay Dyer

The Most inspirational Fisherman Ever
The video I have for today is the story of Clay Dyer. It lasts nearly 10 minutes, but it is truly worth it to see how one man conquered his problems. it sure make our problems look small as compared to what he deals with. I have a strong admiration for Clay Dyer. Maybe I will meet him one day. Who knows?

For all of us: We need to keep on keeping on!

 

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
Someone said if we took all our problems and threw them in a pile, and then we saw everyone else’s, we would grab ours back.

~~~

Quote of the Day

Patience is the companion of wisdom.
~St. Augustine

~~~
Joke of the Day

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.

The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."

To which the gentleman said, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"

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Fishing and More

Fishing Report 
We had a very enjoyable day on South Holston Lake yesterday. We caught 14 nice fish, and brought home 9 (6 lake trout, 2 rainbow trout, and 1 walleye pike). Here’s a few pictures.

Here’s view of the lake from the boat. We had a beautiful day for fishing.
Here’s Doug with one of the lake trout we caught.
Here’s Ralph showing another  that he just got in the boat.	Her
I’m smiling while holding the stringer. The walleye is the fish on the left.

The Road Traveled is Worth the Trip
I enjoyed this article by Jacob T. Bradsher, Jr. who is a retired medical doctor in Knoxville, TN. The following article was a Guest Column in the Knoxville News-Sentinel on May 31, 2009. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

   I am old. A few months ago, I began my 89th year. The ages in the daily obituary column are mostly less than that. At the moment, I can’t think of anyone I should say “Sir” or “Ma’am” to on the basis of age.

    It sneaked up on me in a way. Until a few years ago, when physical changes began to occur, I felt forever young. I still feel young in mind, but the physical part of me doesn’t respond as it did. Joints creak and ache; I totter at times; I feel more secure with a walker to hold on to.

    In my personal plumbing, the valves don’t close as tightly as they used to. I often have to ask my family and friends and acquaintances to repeat something I didn’t hear clearly. The radio and TV I listen to are too loud for the rest of my family.

    The birds I used to listen for don’t seem to sing any more. I see the lightning but don’t always hear the thunder. But the sunrises and sunsets are as colorful and spectacular as ever.

    The warmth of friendships is more apparent than ever. There is no joy like that of seeing and meeting with old friends. At this age, many of the older friends have completed their earthly journey. I miss their conversations.

    A few, unfortunately, have lost contact with reality and the ability to share their thoughts as they once did. There is the comfort of the family nearby and the security of their presence.

    Through the telephone and the Internet, I maintain contact with three sisters and a brother. A large family has always been a source of pleasure. We have remained close through the years sharing the happenings of our children’s lives.

    Aging is a process not fully understood. What happens to the individual cell, the smallest unit of the body’s composition, as it grows old? Why do older cells more often change their growth behavior and become cancerous? Much research is being devoted to these questions. “Normal aging” is a term used — whatever that means. Maybe it means a little arthritis, a little loss of hearing, a little incontinence, a little imbalance occurring with age. A heart attack and damaged heart muscle, making the heart an ineffective pump is not, probably, a part of normal aging. The dementias, especially Alzheimer’s is not a part of normal aging. Given a mind that seems to be working well except for the ability to recall names quickly, I believe one can put up with aches, pains, loss of mobility. The consequent loss of some freedom can be accepted and dealt with. But, it seems, more often than not, there has been a heart attack, a badly damaged heart, a stroke, cancer, a fall and broken bones. The adjustments to be made to these are greater and more difficult to accept. This is where the art of aging may apply. I’m not sure I have acquired that yet.

    Annoyance is what aging seems to bring to the younger generation. It is annoying to them to be requested to repeat what was said as our hearing fails. The slowness of movement, too, that comes with age is annoying.

    Being old and slow in movement is not to be equated with loss of mental acuity. That’s an annoyance to me.

    If I hear, I understand. If I don’t hear, I don’t always respond. But it’s not that I don’t understand. I dislike inconveniencing others by asking a statement to be repeated.

    I hope our age group has made a difference for the better. I hope we have shown that we care about each other and about our environment and hoped our children and grandchildren could inherit a world as beautiful as that we were born into. We hoped for a peaceful world that did not occur in our lifetime. We hoped we could learn to disagree and still be friends.

    The road traveled has had its rough spots and passed through stormy weather. Sometimes I wasn’t sure where it was leading. But it was always interesting, and I am glad to have taken the trip. I’m sort of sidelined now, away from the big parade and counting on those on stage now to put on a great and successful show.

    Looking back, I am grateful to so many who made the journey easier, worthwhile, interesting and entertaining. I am grateful for my family that gave a start and my wife and children who stick with me, and give their love, in these later days.

Sue, Get Well Soon!
Our good friend, Sue, Kevin’s Mother-in-Law, had surgery last Wednesday. We have been thinking of her every day. And today I wanted to wish her a special Get Well! We love you!

 

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
Life may not be fair, but it’s still very good.
Enjoy every minute of it.
And the best is yet to come!

~~~

Quote of the Day

Now that it's all over, what did you really do yesterday that's worth mentioning?
~Coleman Cox

~~~
Joke of the Day

There were two old boys from Alabama who love to fish, and they wanted to do some ice fishing. They'd heard about it up in Canada, and they took off up there. The lake was frozen nicely. They stopped just before they got to the lake at a little bait shop and got all their tackle. One of them said, "We're going to need an ice pick."

So they got that, and they took off. In about two hours, one of them was back at the shop and said, "We're going to need another dozen ice picks."

Well, the fellow in the shop wanted to ask some questions, but he didn't. He sold him the picks, and the old boy left.

In about an hour, he was back. Said, "We're going to need all the ice picks you've got."

The bait man couldn't stand it any longer. "By the way," he asked, "how are you fellows doing?"

"Not very well at all," he said. "We don't even have the boat in the water yet.

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Today, tomorrow, and yesterday

Today is the tomorrow we thought about yesterday. Did we worry about it or look forward to its opportunities?

--===--

Fishing
I hope to be out on the lake today doing a little fishing. I think that will be good therapy for me after being in the hospital a couple of days last week. We going up to South Holston Lake to fish for rainbow and lake trout. It should be a good day according to the weather forecast.

A New Grandpuppy
I have a new grandpuppy! Kevin, Lesley, Kara and Zachary have adopted a little puppy from the Kingsport Animal Shelter. She’s a lab mix. Here’s a few pictures I took last night when we met her for the first time. Her name is Oreo!

Kara & Zachary sit beside Oreo in her new bed. Notice the welcome posters on the wall.
Zachary told us when we arrived, “She’s smaller that you would think.” He was so right! Oreo weighs only 2 pounds.
Here’s Oreo resting in her bed and looking over her new family. I know she’ll have plenty of love and attention.

 

Something Funny 
When I was at the gym yesterday, they had this cartoon posted. So I got a copy of it to share with you. I know exactly how she feels, don’t you?

 

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:

My good friend and Kevin’s Father-in-law told me the other day that he had heard that old age is not the “golden years”; instead it’s the “rusty years.” I can agree with that in many ways.

~~~

Quote of the Day

Do not anticipate trouble or worry about what
may never happen.  Keep in the sunlight. 
~Benjamin Franklin

~~~
Joke of the Day

Two Louisiana farmers bought a truckload of watermelons, paying one dollar apiece for them.

Then they drove to the market and sold all their melons for the SAME price ($1) they'd paid for them.

After counting their money at the end of the day, they realize they'd ended up with no more money than they'd started with.

"See!" said one. "I told you we shoulda got a bigger truck."

(The above joke reminds me of Cas Walker (1903-1998), a Knoxville grocer man, local politician and TV personality. They said when he was running a special on some item, he would advertise that he lost money on every item sold, but made it up on the volume. (Read more about Cas Walker at Wikipedia.))

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AFIB - Last Friday Morning

2:30 AM
I awoke to go to the bathroom. While there my heart started racing and then I experienced mild chest pain. I returned to bed and told myself that my stress test was perfect, so this should not be happening. It continued. At 2:40 I grabbed my nitro bottle and put one under my tongue. There was no change. At 2:45 I woke Beverly and told her that I thought we should go to the hospital. She wanted to call 911. I talked her out of doing that. I didn’t feel that bad, but I knew something was wrong. I put in another nitro, and we left for the hospital.

3:10 AM
Beverly dropped me in front of ER. I walked in and they put me in a wheelchair and took me straight to a room, and within minutes Beverly returned to my side, and the ER people had run EKG and had taken blood, etc. A little while later they told me I was experiencing AFIB (Atrial Fibrillation). When the blood results were returned we learned I was NOT having a heart attack. Whew!

Admitted
Later that morning I was admitted: I was that grouchy old man in Room 24B. Finally I was visited by my cardiologist who recommended we first try drug treatment to return the heart’s rhythm. And if it did not correct itself by early afternoon we would go for electrical cardio version. Around 3:00 PM they completed the procedures to restore my heart to it’s normal pattern. I asked the doctor, minutes after I had awoken, what limitations I would have. He said, “None.” I asked, “Can I go to the gym tomorrow and work out, and go fishing next week?” He said, “Sure! And you can go home later this evening.”

Well, to make a long story short, I did not get to go home until Saturday. The nurse said I would get to go home around 7 PM, but around 6 PM she said they had noticed something in my tests that they wanted to monitor me overnight. So I stayed. What choice did I have anyway?

I learned on Saturday morning that the results in question where expected due to the procedure, and they should have released me on Friday night! Well, that’s hospitals for you!

Home Again
Anyway I’m glad to be home. There’s no place like home. I’m hoping to go to the gym this morning for my workout, and I’m planning some fishing days!

 

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:
What’s here today may be gone tomorrow.
Plan accordingly.

~~~

Quote of the Day

Another way to solve the traffic problems of this country is to pass a law that only paid-for cars be allowed to use the highways.
~Will Rogers

~~~
Joke of the Day

Three health care professionals find themselves at the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter asks the first, "Why do you belong here?"

The first replies, "I was a great surgeon. I have saved countless lives."

"Welcome," says Saint Peter, "We've been expecting you."

Saint Peter then asks the second, "Why do you belong here?"

The second answers, "I was a family practitioner. I treated young and old alike. I made them well again."

"Welcome," says Saint Peter, "We've been expecting you."

Finally, Saint Peter asks the third, "Why do you belong here?"

The third says, "I ran an HMO. I helped pay for thousands to receive medical care."

"Okay," replies Saint Peter, "But you can only stay a day and a half."

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